


Playful Lies

by pinkshadow147



Series: The Pines Twins [2]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: 'Space Pirates' isn't a thing - but it is, AUFord won't let him, Alien Monkey Attack, Also Bill messed with Ford bad, And I do mean everyone, Angst, Betrayal, BlindFaith, Both of them, But Stan 's a little messed up too, Character Deaths, Even the BF! Twins, Everyone struggling to get along, Ford is used to torture, Gen, Kind of Sad Ending, Stan can be a comfort sometimes, Stan is afraid of heights, Stan is more capable than he thinks, Stan wants to name an alien creature, but there will be more, the portal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-02 22:43:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 54,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8686195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkshadow147/pseuds/pinkshadow147
Summary: http://thesnadger.tumblr.com/post/127715474015/okay-okay-so-first-of-all-great-suggestion-butBlind Faith Stan and Ford are stuck on a planet with original Ford and Reverse Portal Stan. It's mostly fun tricks and silly jests, until things become all too real for everyone. The possiblities are frightening and none of them want to face the reality - that maybe their worst nightmares are far more real than they expected.





	1. Chapter 1

"I told you - I ain't carrying you,"

"I never said I wanted you to. Just ... give me a minute,"

"Au's just being nice. There's nothing up in that cave. When he gets back - we'll go up - and _then_ you can rest. Honestly Ford. I told you to get some sleep,"

"I _did._ Just ... not much,"

Stan shook his head.

"And I bet you didn't get a lot of rest the night before _either_. And your weak gazelle legs have been prancing around this forest all day - ,"

"Would you cut it out with the gazelle thing?"

"You poor child. You need _rest_. And _food_. And - ," Stan's stomach growled. He put a hand over it with a grimace. " ... actually we could all use a bite to eat,"

"Look I'm just tired is all. How are you not?"

"I'm just durable - and your a gazelle,"

"That's not funny,"

"A gazelle without sleep,"

"Do you even know what a gazelle is?"

"A deer right?"

"Sort of. It's - ,"

Ford stopped as Stan looked away confused.

"Stanley?"

"You hear that poindexter?"

"No," Ford tried to look around. "What is it?" He tried to get his eyes to catch up with Stan's impeccable hearing.

"That's Au," Stan stood and scrambled up the steep hill, then slipped. "Gah! Ow,"

"Here - wait for me," Ford took Stan's arm and helped him maneuver through the forest.

Stan half-guided them, and as they came into earshot, they heard a voice.

" ... I knew you'd come and find me! I never gave up hope!"

Ford halted, surprised to see AUFord's figure lifted off the ground in an overwhelming bear hug.

"You stupid genius! I can't believe you're finally here!"

Stan looked at Ford with an expression that demanded answers.

"Well, um - ack!" AUFord gasped as the arms tightened around him.

"I'm _so_ glad to see you. You've no idea how long it's felt like out here," The man dropped AUFord back to the ground and the Fords finally saw his face.

Stan leaned over and mumbled into his brother's ear.

"Ford, that sounds like ... ,"

"Stanley Pines!" AUFord stepped back from his 'attacker' and took a few shaky breaths. "What on earth was that for?"

Stan stepped forward.

"I'm over here Au,"

AUFord turned. His eyes widened in surprise and went from Stanley to the man in front of him.

"Wait then what are you?" pointed at the mystery figure.

"Stanley ... ,"

Stan stepped back to listen to Ford's mumbled words in his ear.

"Stanley he looks like you. He - ," Ford unconsciously took Stan's arm as he looked at the new face. " - I think he _is_ you,"

Stan looked at the blurry mystery. His mind took a moment to wrap around Ford's words and then understanding dawned on him.

"Oh yeah, this must be my own counterpart!" Stan smiled wide at the thought.

The other man looked from AUFord to the twins standing off to the side. He tilted his head in confusion.

"Ford? And another Stanford?" he saw Stan and stepped back. "And ... me?" his smile dropped and his gaze turned suspicious. "What is this ... ,"

"Ah yes! That must be what this is," AUFord turned to the new Stan. "Pardon me, but I think there's been a misunderstanding,"

"Stanford what is this? There are two of you? And another me? Is this some sort of stupid magic thing? I think I've had enough,"

"You're Stanley Pines right?"

The other Stan gazed at him with an intent stare.

" You didn't come for me did you ... ,"

"There's been a misunderstanding. Whatever you think, is wrong. We're from another universe. And honestly I can't believe I've ran into another alternate dimensional version of my own universe. In such a small amount of time too. What are the odds?"

Ford's mind spun - he was secretly running the numbers in time with his counterpart, but mostly wondered what all this meant. The other Stan stared from AUFord to Ford, his gaze darkening.

"So you're not real?"

AUFord brought his attention back to the other Stanley.

"Of course we're real. Through we're probably not anything you might have been expecting. Stanley, come over here. You'd make a much easier explanation," AUFord gestured at Stan, but his other self had already acted.

The new Stan whipped out a blaster, his eyes dark as he pointed it at Ford. Stan's ear perked at the sound. He watched the blurry outline of the barrel point at Ford and tensed as his other self prepared to shoot.

Smoke exploded into the air.

Ford felt himself pulled along by his brother, and AUFord backed away at the sudden hand that slipped in and out of his coat.

When the fogged cleared Ford blinked in confusion and did a double take at the sudden scene in front of him. The Stan's were standing face to face; the barrel's of their blaster's point blank, turned on each other. Stan had Ford pulled back behind him, a death glare sent his counterpart's way.

Stan's aim was a little off, and Ford discretely tapped his stretched out arm to move it a little to the left and line up better with his target. Stan clenched his jaws and close his eyes, but complied with Ford's direction.

AUFord swallowed at the sudden stand off, and waited in the tense silence, unsure of what to do.

The Ford's didn't speak as the two Stanley's stared each other down for a long time, each summing the other up. A full minute passed. The other Stan stared between the two Fords and an idea began to blossom in his mind. Around the same time AUFord was beginning to think up some way to break the silence, Stan raised a brow, and the other Stanley complied by lifting his blaster. They both relaxed, but Stan still kept his wary gaze. The other Stanley stared between the two Fords and then back to Stan.

"You're another me?"

Stan nodded.

"Yeah. What's it to ya?"

"Prove it,"

Stan narrowed his eyes.

" ... Footbot 1000,"

The tension visibly loosened in the other Stanley and he laughed. Stan's grim face eased a little too, and he broke into a smile.

"It's gonna happen. I'm telling you, it's _gonna_ happen,"

"You think?"

"Course I do," the Stan looked at the Fords and gestured their way. "Why doesn't he believe us?"

"I have no idea. Too smart for his own good probably,"

"The stupid genius,"

"Exactly,"

The Fords looked at the sudden smiles on the Stanley's faces and looked from one to the other, confused.

"Wait, so you aren't going to shoot anyone?"

The other Stanley looked at him amused.

"Where on earth would you get an idea like that?" He shook his head at Stan, throwing a thumb at AUFord. "This guy. Am I right?"

Stan rolled his eyes.

"Don't I know it,"

AUFord slowly nodded, still confused.

"Right, so ... ," he breathed in, about to say something, then let it out and shook his head. "No. No I still have no idea. You were about to shoot each other?" He turned to Stan. "By the way can I have my blaster back?"

Stan pocketed the gun with a cheeky grin and the other Stan leaned against a tree.

"So where did you three say you came from?"

Stan nodded.

"Ah, yes. Introductions. Before anything else, we have to get this out of the way," He pointed at AUFord. "This is AUFord. Au for short *Cough* call him PU - ,"

"Stanley I told you - ,"

"I'm doing it my head Au. You can't stop me ... ,"

Ford was staring at the other Stan. The man caught his eye, and Ford stared at him in hesitant curiosity. He waited for the other Stanley to look away, but the man kept contact. He was still smiling, but his eyes. They looked ...

And then he noticed the arm. Ford stiffened.

"Shakespeare was always a scam artist - ," Stan paused in his conversation.

AUFord picked up the thread - oblivious to the twins.

"I don't see what that has to do with the multi-dimensional parameters of naming ... ,"

Stan kept looking forward, but murmured the question under his breath.

"Ford?"

The other Stanley for his part, was still staring at Ford. One hand was tucked in a pocket as he leaned against the tree. He looked at Stan, noticing his pause and waiting for him to catch sight of the disturbance.

Ford wanted to look away, but he couldn't. He didn't want to be rude, but it was such a shock. He looked from the other Stan's face to the stub of his right arm and back again. His grip tightened on his Stan as if he could protect his brother from the mere possibility. Stan turned to look at Ford, confused by his reaction. Ford let his eyes travel back to his brother and was made painfully aware of how inadequate his eyes were to grasp what Ford saw.

" ... is something wrong?" AUFord stopped talking when he realized everyone's attention had been drawn to something else. He looked between the three. "Am I missing something?"

Stan looked at AUFord. Then at his own counterpart. The other Stanley looked Stan in the eyes, waiting patiently - curious for his reaction. His brows furrowed in confusion when Stan's eyes shifted uncertainly, unable to maintain contact.

"Yeah, so you're going to be ... not AUStan. I already told Au that he could call me AUStan in his head if he likes. You want PU? Parallel Universe Stanley Pines?" Stan grinned.

No one responded as the other Stanley straightened and stood back to his feet.

"Well in that case. Why don't I just be regular old Stan and you be AUStan?"

AUFord was still looking at his counterpart, confused at what had caused the disruption.

"Because Stanford is regular Ford, and Au is AUFord. It wouldn't make sense when I'm not from Au's universe. And your not from our's, so you shouldn't be categorized with Ford,"

AUFord looked between the two Stanley's. The topic of discussion was pointless, but he couldn't help but interject.

"I was actually thinking that I'm the original Stanford. And I'm not being pretentious. I'm merely relying on the current data at hand,"

The Stan's rolled their eyes and then continued without him.

"Well then we can call you Titan,"

"Titan?"

Stan paused, then wave his hand.

"No, I changed my mind. We can call _me_ Titan,"

"You could be Stanley, and I could be just Stan,"

AUFord ran a hand across his face.

"This is trivial,"

Ford felt something staring holes into his back and looked over his shoulder. His heart jumped when he saw dozens and dozens of eyes gazing back at him. He latched onto Stan's arm, fear coursing through his veins. He whispered to Stan.

"Lee ... ," he squeezed his lids shut, but even in the blackness the eyes still haunted his mind.

Stan turned to Ford, alarmed by the distress in his brother's voice. Ford couldn't keep from glancing back to the trees. Stan searched Ford's face, the question in his gaze clear. He watched as Ford's eyes flickered around them - holding on to things that weren't there.

Ford cursed himself. This wasn't the time. He'd been doing so well. But he was pretty sure the sight of the other Stanley's severed limb had provoked it, so he focused on his brother as he tried to ride it out.

Stan took his shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

"Ford? You alright?"

Ford shook his head. He wasn't alright. Not at all. The eyes. They were everywhere. _Everywhere_. And after the incident on the ship he couldn't help but look for a familiar yellow one with it's thin black slit. Stan realized what was happening and dropped everything. He didn't even glance back as he led Ford away from the other Stanley and Stanford for a quiet moment a little ways down the hill.

The other Stanley glanced over at AUFord as he watched them leave.

"Uh ... where are they going?"

Left behind, they watched in slight confusion as the two sat down, soft mumbles escaping Stanley's lips.

AUFord glanced at the other Stanley.

"I - I think they need a moment," he tried to gather his thoughts. "Yes, I think it'll be alright soon, um ... ," AUFord thought about the few times his counterpart had needed to take a moment while they were on the ship. He pursed his lips, then shook his head. "but - ," he turned back to the other Stan, trying to focus on the new Stanley that posed an opportunity to learn more about multiple dimensions. "I hope we haven't disturbed you too much. You seemed to have been rather ... excited when you saw me?"

The Stan pulled his gaze away from the twins and looked at him. His face became devoid of emotion, and he shrugged.

"Maybe," then his face broke into a smile. "PUFord,"

AUFord let out an exhausted sigh.

"Oh, please don't. I can't believe I'm stuck with two Stanley's now,"

Stanley raised a brow.

"That's rude,"

"Not rude. Reasonable. It's been agony stuck on that ship with him - ," he threw a thumb over his shoulder. " - for the past month,"

The Stan looked from Ford to the sky.

"Were there people in that thing then? That was you three?"

AUFord nodded.

"Yes. You saw it?"

"Yeah, but stuff like that flies in all the time. I'm surprised this place doesn't have better meteor showers,"

"All the time you say? Where does it all come from you think?"

Stan shrugged.

"Heck, if I know," he rubbed his nose. "But uh - you should look into it. You're still a nerd right? A real poindexter?"

AUFord rolled his eyes.

"Technically - yes. But when you usethe term with such offensive pretenses - ,"

"Yeah, definitely a nerd," the other Stan smirked. "A nerd that got himself landed in the armpits of existence, right?"

"That's one way to put it ... ," AUFord looked at the other Stanley, several understandings going through his head. "You're here on your own?"

"Sure am," his eyes flashed with amusement. "Its all your fault Sixer. Landing me in that portal thing of yours,"

AUFord frowned. That much was clear, but the tone that the Stanley said it in was disheartening. The other Stan was watching his reaction.

"And it cost me an arm and a leg too," he paused. "Or, well - an arm mostly," he held out his right arm and finally, _finally_ , AUFord noticed it's stub.

His eyes widened in surprised.

" ... oh,"

Stan stared at the expression on his face - mapping out every emotion as AUFord stared at his arm for one very long moment.

"Somehow ... ," AUFord frowned and mumbled as if to himself. "Somehow that's worse than his eyes,"

The other Stan tilted his head curious.

"What eyes?"

AUFord blinked then looked up.

"Yours?" he looked back at Stan still sitting with Ford. "Mm. No. I don't think so. That was - is - still ... still pretty close," AUFord was lost in thought.

The other Stan looked down at the two twins and then at AUFord. The day was turning out a lot more wild than he'd predicted. He looked over his shoulder at the top of the small mountain. He hoped this was as interesting as things got. Today at least.

Tomorrow though ...

"But seriously. Is there a single universe where I get to keep two of everything?"

AUFord pulled himself out of the clouds.

"Ah ... theoretically yes. And if you wouldn't mind me asking - ," he stopped himself there. Should he really be asking? But he couldn't keep his curiosity at bay. "How exactly did you lose your arm?"

The other Stan smirked.

"You really wanna know?"

AUFord had a feeling he didn't, but he couldn't stop himself.

"Only if you feel comfortable telling me,"

The other Stan rolled his eyes.

"Okay ... Pirates," he scrutinized AUFord's reaction. "Space Pirates,"

AUFord waited to see if he would elaborate.

"Space pirates with guns,"

AUFord's fingers twitched. Space Pirates existed? He was itching to ask more questions, but he didn't want to upset this Stanley and make him fall silent.

" ... Guns and knives and planks and scurvy and bleeding red eyes and a whole slew of people in a stockade below your feet waiting to be eaten alive by the carnivorous monsters that screamed instead of laughed. You know ... the sort of stuff that'll give you nightmares,"

AUFord swallowed. That would be it wouldn't it. And suddenly he was adding to the list of things that would star in his nightmares.

The other Stanley grinned wide.

"Your so gullible Stanford,"

"I - I what?"

The other Stan laughed.

"Space Pirates? Come on. I wasn't even trying. You'd think I'd come up with something better than 'Space Pirates',"

AUFord tried to comprehend the other Stan's words. Then he groaned. Stan had just tricked him. Again.

"Why do I even bother anymore?" He threw up his hands. "Your hopeless. It appears in every dimension that your hopeless,"

The other Stanley rolled his eyes.

"That's also rude," he landed a lazy eye AUFord's way. "You should really get that checked,"

"What my attitude?"

The other Stan shrugged. AUFord scowled.

"You are not the one to be talking,"

The other Stanley laughed.

"I almost forget you do that,"

"Do what?"

"When you complicate phrases like that. You sound - what was it? Pretentious?"

"I'm not pretentious!"

The other Stan shook his hand in a more or less gesture.

"Kinda,"

AUFord ran his fingers through his hair. He took a moment to breath and calm himself down. The other Stanley smiled.

"Still can't stand me, can ya Sixer?"

AUFord's nose twitched.

"Don't call me that,"

"What? Sixer?"

"Don't,"

The other Stan glanced at him up and down.

"Well why not?"

"I - I don't have to explain myself. Just - don't,"

"Whatever you say Sixer,"

"Stanley, please,"

"Tell me why not, and I'll stop doing it. Yeah?"

"I already told you. I don't have to explain myself,"

"Sure thing Sixer. Heard you the first time round - Sixer,"

AUFord clenched his fist. He looked down at his hands, brows furrowed in frustration. But then he let out a sigh and his whole body relaxed.

"Fine. Do what you like," he threw up his hands in defeat. "I can't make you do anything you don't want to,"

"You can make people do a lot of things a lot of different ways Stanford,"

AUFord squinted in confusion.

"What?"

"Just saying,"

"I can never understand how you can get to be so insufferable. It's like your one talent is frustrating me to no end,"

The other Stanley laughed.

"Well I can't understand how your always such a selfish jerk. But eh, I'm not the genius so - ,"

"Selfish? _I'm selfish Stanley?"_

The other Stan's continuous smile suddenly stretched from ear to ear. He didn't respond. Instead he looked towards the sky the wide grin plastered across his face.

"How on earth can you find this amusing?"

Stan shook his head. He looked at AUFord and he couldn't keep the wild mirth from bubbling to the surface. Because this was hilarious. It was ridiculous and without sense. He was in a nightmare and a dream come true all at once, and the entire situation rested on the old pretense of a grudge he'd long since shed. How could he _not_ find this funny?

The idea bubbling in his mind only made it worse. The sudden possibility from Ford's arrival. It was too much.

"What's the big joke?"

The other Stanley and AUFord turned to watch the twins coming back up towards them. The other Stan shrugged as Stan looked between him and AUFord.

"You okay?"

The concern was obviously meant for Ford, but the other Stanley addressed it to Stan. Stan nodded, but the other Stanley couldn't help but note his close grip on Ford's arm. He looked back at Stan's face only to see the unfocused eyes. He glanced over to Ford and made contact, before the other twin looked away.

"Yeah, swell," Stan stopped walking as they reached them. "I think I'm sticking with AUStan. But you get to decide if it's me or you who takes it. So what's the verdict?"

AUStan took another moment to eye Ford, before he responded.

"Eh, I'll take it I guess. Why not, right?"

"Fantastic! I've been driving myself nuts trying to figure out how to refer to me and you in my head,"

AUStan nodded.

"Me too. Believe me, me too,"

Ford whispered something to Stan, and his face broke into a smile.

"You're such a nerd Ford,"

Ford mumbled something else with a frown.

Stan only laughed.

AUFord walked over to Stan.

"I'm serious though Stanley. I want my blaster back please,"

***

AUStan stopped and gestured forward.

"Behold the falls,"

AUFord parted the foliage to reveal the edge of a cliff. The river they had been following flowed down and cascaded into a pool of crystal water below.

"It's stunning," AUFord turned to AUStan. "Thank you for showing us,"

AUStan nodded.

"No problem. Just don't go drinking it,"

Stan raised a brow.

"I thought that's what we're doing here,"

AUStan shook his head.

"No. This stuff is dead poisonous. Don't drink it, don't touch it - don't even breath too much of it," AUStan pointed out across the waters. "Over _there_ is where the drinkable water is. Some 'magic' plants or something make it not poison I guess,"

AUFord put a hand to his chin.

"Perhaps the plants take in the water by it's roots and then excrete it clean. Or maybe some sort of fungus is purifying it. Or maybe just a moss that distills it,"

Ford nodded, thinking about that too.

"Mm,"

Stan rolled his eyes.

"Nerds,"

AUStan gestured towards the edge of the cliff.

"Come look over here. The view is _extra_ stunning,"

The Fords stepped forward to look. Stan stayed behind, an annoyed look on his face. Ford looked back at him and then over at the water. He thought better of it and walked back to Stan.

"Aren't you gonna look at the view poindexter?"

"Mm,"

"You see Sixer?" AUStan led AUFord close to the rim. "Look at all of that ... shininess. From the sun I guess,"

AUFord stepped up to the edge of the cliff. The force of the water falling to the ground was creating a current in the air that produced a pleasant breeze. AUStan stepped up on his left, he stared at AUFord with a smile as he pointed all around the lagoon below. AUFord looked from it then to AUStan.

"It _is_ extremely beautiful. I'll have to sketch a picture in my notebook,"

AUStan nodded with a serious expression on his face.

"Oh yes. Most definitely," he put his hand to AUFord's back as if to steady him.

AUFord looked back out - doing his best to take everything in.

Ford's eyes widened as AUStan shoved AUFord off the cliff with a sudden push.

"Wha - gah!" AUFord tumbled into the air, falling down towards the water below.

Stan started at the noise.

"What are earth? What did you do?"

Ford stared at AUStan in shock. AUStan glanced over at their expression. A wicked grin spread across his features.

"You two should see your faces," he laughed.

Ford crept away from AUStan and over to the edge of the cliff. He looked down to try and catch a glimpse of AUFord, his brows creased in worry. Stan was frowning.

"You just - ," he stopped. He looked to the ground, deep in thought. "You were just lying weren't you?"

AUStan shook his head and laughed all the harder.

"Honestly, I can't believe he fell for that. For a genius, he sure is gullible,"

Ford glanced at AUStan, deeply disturbed. He blinked then looked back over the edge, still not seeing anything more than the crystal pool.

Just then AUFord burst out of the water, sputtering and coughing. AUStan looked over the edge and laughed at his drenched image.

"Are you going for a swim Au?"

"STANLEY PINES! THAT WAS COMPLETELY UNCALLED FOR!"

AUStan took a delicate step further and leaned over to show AUFord his cheeky grin.

"How's the temperature? Freezing? Or sub-zero - ah!"

Stan shoved AUStan forward and he fell head long into the water below. He glanced over at Ford with a wide smile.

"Karma, yeah?"

Ford stared at him a moment, then broke into a smile.

"B-brilliant Stan," He slung his arm over his brother's shoulder and the two of them stepped over to look down and see a drenched figure come sputtering out of the water. Ford chuckled. "That was just brilliant,"

***

"My notes! You drenched my notes!" AUFord was flipping his pages back and forth in the sun. "Do you have any _idea_ how hard it is to find a suitable notebook?"

AUStan laughed.

"Calm down Sixer. It'll dry,"

"I told you not to call me that!"

Stan shook his head, flinging water everywhere.

"I needed that. It's been ages since we've had anything this close to a shower,"

"Yes, but this is not the way I wanted it to go," AUFord looked over at Stan and Ford slipping their dry coats back on. "All of my things are completely drenched now - ," he pointed a threatening finger at AUStan. "And it's all _your_ fault,"

AUStan rolled his eyes.

"Are you gonna keep complaining? Or are you gonna come over here and _do_ something about it?"

AUFord ground his teeth. He stepped forward with a raised fist before Ford caught his arm and held him back.

"Let go of me! You can't seriously expect I won't wipe that smug grin off his face?"

Ford pulled him back and shoved him to the ground. He muttered something in his ear.

"Use my head? Use _my_ head?"

Stan sighed.

"You shouldn't have messed with the nerd's Journal,"

AUStan snorted.

"He needs to get over himself. If something as small as that sets him off then I can't imagine what I'm gonna do next will create,"

"Hey, mind warning me next time?"

"You want in on it?"

Stan shrugged.

"Damage control, you know?"

"Well in that case enjoy my silence. Because I'm _just_ getting started,"

Stan sighed and rubbed a hand through his hair. Ford stood nearby, knocking the side of his head to unclog his ear. Stan turned his way.

"Ready to go poindexter?"

Ford looked up.

"Mm,"

"Well alright," Stan swiveled and pointed out. "Lets get on going then,"

"Yeah, It's this way," AUStan took the lead through the trees.

AUFord grumbled something under his breath as he followed.

***

"Are you alright?" AUFord looked down at Ford concerned.

AUStan snorted.

"That was quite the fall. You should watch where you're going next time,"

Stan got up off his knees and brushed himself off.

"He _was_ watching," he snapped. He leaned down and helped Ford up. "You alright poindexter?"

"Mm," Ford nodded his head. He looked down at the small rocks digging their way through his skin. His palms were scrapped and leaking a trickle of red.

AUFord looked him up and down.

"You didn't twist your ankle did you? I don't know how we'd fix that around here, but if you need something to lean on I'm sure we could come up with a rudimentary walking stick,"

Ford shook his head and waved him off. He wanted to say he was fine, but the words caught in his throat. He looked over at AUStan who watched him with a playful glimmer in his eye.

"You're bleeding Sixer. Do you want something for that?"

"You're bleeding poindexter?" Stan looked at Ford for the source and caught sight of his hands. "We should probably wrap that up,"

Ford shook his head no. He rubbed his hands together, brushing the the dirt off and then wiping the blood on his pants. Already his skin was scabbing up.

"Well then, keep moving forward I guess," AUFord started walking. "This cave of yours. It isn't too much farther is it?"

AUStan looked around.

"Oh, I suppose not. Just through this next set of trees is all," he went after AUFord and glanced back at Ford.

Ford didn't like the flash of amusement he saw. Stan held his arm and waited for him to move. Ford looked down at the indent he'd tripped in. It had overgrown grass that was level with the rest of the forest floor. He noted that and then walked forward. He didn't want to trip and take Stan down with him again.

They headed through the trees.

AUStan was looking around, as if waiting for something. Next to him Stan grew nervous. His face looked worried and Ford could tell he thought something was wrong. He gave Stan's arm a questioning nudge. Stan waved him off, but Ford could tell he was straining his ears to listen. Ford did his best to look around - trying to be enough eyes for the both of them.

The forest was covered in grass and bushes and vines that hung down. Subdued colors jumped out at him. But they seemed to have some special property that made his gaze pass right over their spectrum as if they weren't there. The forest was a _rainbow_ , but all his brain would admit to was the green. The trees were thick with leaves and the blue sky was only visible in small patches.

It wasn't till a moment too late that his brain registered what he _wasn't_ seeing. There were no small critters jumping around. No sign of the razor teethed tigers that hid in multi-colored camouflage. The absence of insects buzzing around the tropical humid air was palable. It wasn't till that moment too late that Ford realized Stan must have been upset by the silence. The lack of sights and sounds that was only punctuated by Ford's cry of surprise a moment before a rugged vine wrapped around his chest and dragged him into the trees.

Stan felt his brother slip out of his hands.

"Ford!"

AUFord and AUStan turned. AUStan tilted his head in curious amusement as AUFord stared at Ford's absence.

"What was that?"

"I don't know. Ford!"

High above the trees Ford struggled against the long tendrils clinging to his limbs. He looked and realized they were connected to creatures. Sentient beings that looked rather like monkeys. Colorful monkeys with strange thin long tails that curled comically in spirals tucked against their back. He looked at the dull blue, orange, magenta, and other colors that kept him bound and realized they were impossibly long _tails_.

He pulled away from their hold on him. He took one in his hands with the intent to throw it's owner off balance. He succeeded, but managed to rip open the raw skin on his palms, fresh blood leaking out against the rough sandpaper of their tails. His chest constricted under their tightened hold, and the entire frenzied group of creatures froze for an intense second as they stared at his injury.

Another second and they pounced - long, thin, jagged teeth laid bare as they sank their jaws into his body. Ford let out a shout of pain and shook them off.

"Ford!"

Ford didn't respond. He shook off the crazed group of monkeys and wrestled his way forward. His coat was holding up surprisingly well under the knife like daggers of their teeth, but Ford could feel his skin break under the strain anyways. As he yanked himself away he left trails of heated pressure that he knew was welling into blood and bruises.

A loud blast echoed besides him and he yelped.

"DON'T HIT HIM AU!"

Down below Stan shoved AUFord aside and grabbed his gun.

"Stan what are you - !"

Stan closed his eyes and shot into the trees. AUFord stared at him eyes wide, fearing for his sanity.

" _I'm_ gonna hit him? What about you!"

Stan growled, but aimed into the depths of the trees without answering.

The monkeys seemed to scatter as two more blasts ricocheted around him. The tails wrapped over Ford loosened and he lurched forward in the tree. He breathed in and out, and looked around, trying to get his bearings.

The monkeys didn't seem to be deterred for long and he looked down at his best option of escape. He leaned forward, preparing his legs for the tumble. But as his hands went to release his hold on the branch above him, his fingers wouldn't move. Ford's eyes widened in fear as his body refused to follow the command of it's brain. His breath turned quick and shallow as he took in ragged breaths. The monkeys screeched all around him, the noise deafening next to the sound of his beating heart.

More blasts flew through the leaves. It's heat was precariously close to Ford, but it's impact on the monkeys was that much more effective.

"Ford what on earth are you doing up there? Get down here, I don't have all day,"

The way Stan spoke was less like an angry plea on Ford's behalf, and more like an annoyed call he'd make from the bottom of a set of stairs. As if the two of them weren't on a foreign planet being attacked by blood thirsty apes. As if they weren't surrounded by alternate versions of themselves, but were instead getting ready to go out for a quiet night on the town.

Though as Ford thought about it, he realized any night out with Stanley could never be quiet and would probably end in either a fist fight or a shout of yelling, be that angry comebacks, joyous chanting, a simple cheer, or even -

Ford's fingers loosened his grip and he suddenly found himself falling headfirst towards the ground. His body twisted in reaction, his head tucking in on itself as his feet hit and he rolled.

Stan was by his side in an instant, grumbling.

"Took you long enough," But Ford saw the look of relief on his face. "You okay poindexter?"

Ford nodded, not bothering to give any other indication of his well being as he focused on the needles fading down his legs.

Their attention was jerked away as the monkeys started to attack from out of the trees. A tail lashed out and took hold of Ford's ankle. Stan grabbed him under his arms and kept him from being pulled away. Ford kicked out and managed to get free - only for another two tails to attach themselves to his limbs.

AUFord took out his blaster and started stunning the monkeys.

"What do they want?"

AUStan shrugged.

"They're a carnivorous species. What do you _think_ they want? They're after blood,"

The monkeys surrounded Ford and Stan moved in closer to his brother so they were back to back. AUStan decided to take his leave and ducked out of the fray. AUFord turned to him.

"Where are you going!"

AUStan looked over his shoulder.

"You'll be fine, I'm sure," he kept walking.

The monkeys lept forward and Stan swung out with a punch. There were maybe a dozen or more converging. Their multiple shades blended into a mass of color. Ford started to get dizzy just looking at them, but Stan stood firm. Ford murmured "Left," and Stan ducked as one of the magenta apes flew over his head.

Stan let out a surprising chuckle.

"Oh man. I almost thought you meant _your_ left," he stepped forward and swung as a blue monkey made its appearance.

Ford pulled him away from an orange one that came out of nowhere. Stan followed the movement and came back with a blow to its face. Ford kicked it away and then focused on another blue one that jumped out. Stan jabbed it with an elbow and Ford finished it off with a punch.

"Three o'clock, 90 degrees,"

Stan shot out to his right and fell forward at empty air. Ford barreled him over as another magenta monkey came in from above.

"Three Dimensions Lee. _Three Dimensions_ ,"

"Oh, right,"

"Four o'clock, one degree,"

Stan kicked out at a monkey that was crawling at them from below. His foot landed as the blue creature went falling back. Ford swung at an orange monkey coming up at his side.

AUFord was taking down as many of the of the apes as he could, but they were being overwhelmed. One grabbed at his arm in retaliation and as he tried to take hold of it, his hand jerked back against the rough sandpapered texture. He shook off the tail, but held his wrist in pain as his tender skin felt rubbed raw.

It didn't bleed yet however, and most of the monkeys seemed to be paying him less and less attention as they focused on Ford.

AUFord turned and looked over his shoulder. AUStan was sitting a ways up the hill against a tree watching the three fight for their lives -

AUFord frowned. He took a moment to step away from the struggling twins and went to confront the Stan.

"Help us! What are you doing just sitting there!"

AUStan shrugged.

"Watching the show. Here, join me poindexter," he gestured to a spot next to himself.

AUFord was livid.

"Stanley Pines, help us! Your not really going to just sit here and watch them get ripped to shreds are you!"

"They'll be fine. You know - just eventually,"

AUFord ground his teeth. He stared at the growing mass of monkeys closing in on the two brothers.

"They're attracted to the blood you said?"

AUStan nodded.

"Yeah, what about it?"

AUFord stepped back and took out his gun. Before AUStan could react, AUFord turned his blaster's setting to its lowest frequency and aimed for AUStan's armless shoulder. He pulled the trigger.

"OW! WHAT THE HELL AU!"

Down below a few of the monkeys stopped advancing and looked up. AUStan stared back at them warily. He got to his feet.

"Alright _fine_. I'm _helping_ ," he walked back down the hill and into the fray, holding his shoulder.

AUFord sighed in relief and started stunning them again.

AUStan went up to the nearest monkey and took hold of its neck. He shoved it face first against a tree and held it there with his foot. Then he reached into his coat and pulled out a knife.

AUFord watched in horror as AUStan shoved his blade into the base of the monkey's neck and traced a line deep down its spine. The creature writhed in agony and let out a blood curdling shriek. AUStan replaced his knife and tossed the creature on the ground, taking quick, steady steps back.

The reaction was immediate. All of the monkeys left standing from the groups assault turned from Stan and Ford and raced over to their dead companion. The Fords' eyes went wide as purple blood sprayed everywhere and the carnivorous creatures turned their hungry teeth on one of their own.

"Alright, now lets go! Before they change their minds!"

AUFord looked over to AUStan who was taking brisk strides back up the hill. Stan blinked then nudged Ford forward. Ford gulped, then took Stan's arm and led him away.

They all raced to retreat out of the monkeys' view.

***

"Here we are. Cave sweet Casablanca,"

"I'm having second thoughts," AUFord turned to the twins. "We don't know what's in there. What if - ,"

"I have medical supplies. If that's any help,"

Stan nudged Ford forward, and his brother shot him a glare.

"Medical supplies would be great. We don't want anymore of those BloodTails coming after us,"

AUFord wrinkled his nose.

"BloodTails?"

"Yeah. I named them. I didn't want you two beating me to it again,"

AUStan led them into the cave and they followed after.

Inside was a mess of boxes and a few tools for various purposes. The ceiling was high enough, and the cave went in a little deep, but the rounded out enclosure was wasn't more than two dozen feet wide.

"I wasn't expecting company. Or an alternate version of myself from another universe. So pardon the mess," AUStan walked around the small space and stared kicking things around.

The lighting was dim. The sunlight leaked through the cave's narrow entrance covered in overhanging vines.

"This box should have medical supplies," AUStan kicked one over to them. Then he kept knocking around others. "Here, these can be seats I guess - DON'T TOUCH THAT ONE!"

They all jumped at AUStan's shout. AUFord looked down at the box he'd been eyeing.

"W-w-why not?" He took a step back from it.

AUStan laughed.

"Nah, I'm just kidding. Go ahead. I think there's more supplies in there too,"

AUFord stared at AUStan in disbelief.

"Did you seriously just - ,"

"Yeesh give me a heart attack why don't you," Stan reached down and picked up the box.

"That was completely unnecessary - ,"

"Yeah I know. Here Au," AUStan tossed a box into AUFord's arms. "More stuff,"

AUFord let an 'ack!' as the box hit him in the chest.

Stan nudged Ford and his brother led him to a pair of boxes. Ford kicked them into place and sat down with Stan. Stanley opened up his box and dug around inside.

AUFord gave AUStan a withering look.

"Your behavior is atrocious,"

"You sound pretentious again Au,"

"I'm not pretentious," he seethed. "But you're worse than _him_ ," AUFord pointed at Stan.

Stanley didn't even look up.

"I resent that Au,"

"You're being rude again Au,"

"You were going to let us die as we were ripped to shreds by those - those - ,"

" - BloodTails,"

" - carnivorous monkey creatures. If I hadn't - ,"

"Shot me in the arm?" AUStan narrowed his eyes at AUFord. He snorted. "I thought revenge would be below you, but I guess not," he walked over to AUFord and came up to him an inch away from his face.

AUFord's eyes went wide, but he set his jaw and stood firm.

"You can't just - ,"

AUStan grabbed AUFord by the collar of his shirt and shook him.

"Guess what Au. Revenge isn't below _me_ ,"

"Hey wait a minute - ," Stan stood to his feet.

AUStan laughed. He threw AUFord down and stepped back.

"I'm just _kidding_ ," He turned to stare at Stan's irritated expression. "Lighten up. It was a _joke_ ," he turned back to AUFord scrambling to his feet. "But seriously Au. That hurt. If you didn't do it again that'd be fantastic,"

AUFord growled.

"If you don't give me a _reason_ to - ,"

"Hey. You two have any of that - some sort of can thing for burns. My shoulder 's killing me,"

Ford looked in the box and pointed Stan to a canister.

"Yeah, right here. Catch," Stan put on a grin as he tossed it completely left field of where he thought AUStan was.

AUStan leaned over and caught it out of the air. He snorted.

"Gee thanks, pal," But he was smiling wide.

"And that's another thing. What were you thinking Stanley? Shooting blindly into those trees?"

AUStan sat down on one of the boxes.

"I did what now?"

"Not you. _Him_ ," AUFord pointed at Stan.

Stan snorted.

"You think I can't shoot Au?"

"With your _eyes closed_?"

Stan shrugged. He dug around his box some more.

"You likely could've - ," AUFord stopped as he saw his counterpart shaking his he'd and gesturing for him to not speak. "What? What did I say?"

Stan kicked Ford's leg.

"It's _fine_ poindexter," Stan turned to AUFord. "Look Au. It's just - easier. With my eyes closed. Try not to think about it," he handed Ford some bottles. "Any of these useful?"

AUStan shrugged off his coat and tossed it at AUFord's face.

"Here catch,"

"Stanley Pines would you _cut that out_?"

AUStan thought about it a moment. He started to pull off his shirt and winced as he tugged it over his armless shoulder.

"Well I could ... ," he threw the shirt in AUFord's face. "But where would be the fun in that?"

AUFord pulled the piece of clothing off himself with a glare. He tossed it to the ground and sat on a box of his own.

"You're like a child. Honestly,"

Ford mumbled something to Stanley. Stan thought about it.

"They're fine - I guess. I don't know. I haven't really noticed,"

Ford mumbled something else.

"Well you first. _My_ hands aren't the ones that are _bleeding_ ,"

"Mm,"

AUStan started spraying the can onto his shoulder. He hissed.

"Yeesh Au. You really did a number on me,"

AUFord rolled his eyes. He glanced over to Ford and gestured to their box.

"Could you hand me something for my - scratches? The texture of those - ,"

"BloodTails,"

" - monkey creature's tails was very abrasive,"

Stan frowned.

" _Here_ ," he tossed him something without looking up from Ford's hands.

AUFord had stand in order to catch it out of the air.

"Were you even trying to aim?"

Stan shrugged. He cleaned off the blood on Ford's hands and then started wrapping them in thin blue bandages.

AUFord took off his jacket and looked at his arm. It was laced with irritated red skin from the monkey tail's tight grip.

"What is that?"

AUFord looked up. AUStan was staring at something somewhere on him. AUFord narrowed his eyes, hesitant to follow his gaze.

"What is - what?" He looked down at himself.

AUStan had a big grin on his face. He leaned over and pointed at AUFord's arm.

" _That_ ,"

AUFord frowned. AUStan was pointing to a mark on his bicep.

"It's just a scar,"

"Where'd you get it?"

"Does it matter?"

Stan glanced at them.

"Scars are fun Au,"

AUFord wrinkled his nose.

"Not when you're getting them,"

AUStan shrugged.

"I feel like the stuff that hurts the most shows the least,"

Stan snorted.

"Okay, that is not true at _all_ ,"

"Where'd you get that one Au?"

AUFord waved him off.

"Jellyfish - happy?"

"It looks pretty bad,"

"It looks worse than it felt. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it - ," AUFord inspected the old wound. It was a dark circle of dots. It vaguely reminded him of a parasitic bite and was a dark bluish shade. It looked as if it would be in a forever state of bruising. " - I think that particular species marked their victims with specialized shades of ink that they'd inject through their stings,"

"Cool,"

"Not cool. Dangerous,"

AUStan shrugged.

"Yeah, yeah," he turned to Stan. "What about you? Got any nasty looking marks?"

Stan paused with a smile. He finished with Ford's first hand and put his things down. Then he shrugged off his jacket and proudly displayed his left arm. Three long scratches traced down to be intersected by another at his forearm. AUStan whistled.

"Where'd you get that sucker?"

"I single handedly took down almost a dozen of these slaver creatures - ,"

"Stan it was four,"

"Well don't go telling _him_ that,"

AUStan laughed. Stan glared at AUFord.

"I saved your but, _and_ took down the leader - ,"

"You got extremely lucky for those specific circumstances - ,"

"No _you_ got lucky that I was even _there_. Otherwise you'd be dead by now Au. And you haven't even said 'Thank You' now that I think about it,"

"I said 'Thank You'. I'm sure of it,"

"Mm, no. I don't ever remember getting any form of gratitude from you. Just a punch in the face and a whole lot of spittle every time you keep yelling at me,"

"I do _not spit_ when I speak,"

"You kind of do,"

"No, that has always been you. And you've re-payed that particular gesture if I remember correctly. My jaw is still sore by the by,"

"So? That doesn't mean you can't say thank you,"

"Fine. Thank you Stanley Pines for helping me in that very unfortunate situation. Happy?"

"Well, a little bit. But don't interrupt my stories,"

"But if they aren't true - ,"

"We've been over this Au,"

"We never agreed to anything,"

"And whose fault was that?"

"His," AUFord pointed to his counterpart.

Ford's face reddened.

"Leave him out of it Au,"

"I'm not bringing him _into_ it. You asked,"

"Well then fine. I'm done asking," Stan turned away from them and focused his attention back on Ford. He picked up his things and started wrapping Ford's other hand in bandages.

"Good. Enough of this nonsense. We just - ,"

"What about that one?"

AUFord closed his and counted to five.

"What about _what one_?"

AUStan pointed to another mark on AUFord's arm.

"The one on your forearm. The green looking one,"

AUFord grimaced.

"That was an error of judgment,"

"But from where,"

"It doesn't matter,"

"I'm ... curious?"

"I'm sorry if I don't find _amusement_ in past inflicted pain as much as you do Stanley Pines - but I am not going over every one of my scars with you,"

"No need to be so glum Au,"

"Just - never mind," he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Leave me be please,"

"Your so dramatic," AUStan leaned back. "What about you Poindexter?"

Ford glanced at AUStan and looked away.

"Nah, Ford's boring. The worst he's got is all these little things - here I'm done," Stan let go of Ford's hand and put his things down. "You got bit right?"

Ford blinked, then started to shrug off his coat.

"He can't be that boring. Or well ... ," AUStan thought about it. "Maybe he could I _guess_ ," AUStan looked over to Ford. He caught his eye again and smiled wide. "You're just holding out on me aren't you? Come on, spill,"

"Well ... there was that one time you took down that horned gorilla thing. It was huge, wasn't it? But you didn't get hurt did you? It's a story AUStan, but no scars to show for it - sorry,"

"Well what about - that?"

"What about what?"

"On your forearm, Ford. What is it a claw mark? Teeth? Knife? Looks deep enough. What is that - a triangle?"

Ford glanced at his forearm and the memory it invoked made him stiffen. Stan paused and glanced at Ford confused.

" ... Ford? ... ,"

"Mind your own business Stanley Pines!"

Stan jumped and turned to AUFord.

"W-who me?"

"You! Him! I don't care! Just quite sticking your nose where it doesn't belong!"

AUStan snorted.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa Au. Calm down. We weren't talking to you,"

"No you knock it off! No body asked you to be so intrusive!"

"Intrusive? Au, it's right there for everyone in the multi-verse to see. Come on Sixer. I was just wondering what happened,"

AUFord put his head in his arm and started massaging his temples. He was having a hard time suppressing things he didn't want to think about.

"I told you," AUFord grit out through clenched teeth. "I don't want you to _call me that_ ,"

Stan swallowed.

"Okay everyone, lets just take a moment. AUStan, just drop it. Au, I really think you should just calm down - ,"

"Be quite Stanley! You don't know what your talking about! You're such an _idiot_!"

Stanley closed his eyes.

 _Idiot_ ,

_Your such an idiot!_

Stan felt like he'd been slapped.

Ford was right next to him, but he felt miles away. Lost in a memory he hadn't thought of in far too long. Ford wasn't listening. He was gripping Stan's arm in a sudden bought of shuddering fear, with a hold so firm Stan thought it would bruise.

Everyone was quiet.

AUFord was waiting for Stan to speak, but he seemed to have been thrown into silence. AUFord blinked. The lack of response was more jarring than any yelled words that he'd expected to be shot his way. He took in deep breaths and remembered himself. He blinked and then slowly sat back down on his make shift chair. He opened his mouth as if to say something, then thought better of it.

He looked over at his counterpart. Ford was staring off into space, but the fingers not locked onto Stan floated over spot on his stomach. Without his permission, AUFord's hand drifted to that same spot on his own body. And then to the same triangle scar on his forearm. It made him think of faded bruises, sore limbs, split lips, stubbed toes, constricting lungs, frigid breath, frozen extremities, blood, heat, pain, paranoia, lack of sleep -

For a moment he felt dead inside.

Until he remembered that that was just a memory. That he was okay. He was alive. He was away from earth, away from _Bill_.

He'd never be free of Bill.

"I'm hungry,"

Everyone turned to stare at Stan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things Ford mumbles to Stan:
> 
> "You and me. Not 'me and you',"  
> "It's grammar Stanley,"
> 
> "How are your hands?"  
> "I should re-wrap them,"
> 
> I can't remember if AUFord ever apologized, but I figured it didn't matter.


	2. Chapter 2

"Are you blind then?"

Stan coughed, his ears turning red. 

"Not - not exactly," he looked away. "I just can't see as well is all. It's - they're healing. My eyes that is. They're getting better. We might - go find some advanced alien technology to fix em' up. I don't know how that'll work - its Ford's area,"

"My arms gone. Don't know if you've seen that. Don't want you tossing me a dozen eggs or something,"

Stan blinked. Despite the ill lighting in the cave, AUStan watched his counterparts expression curiously. It was always a treat when he surprised people with his arm, but to watch his own self react? He didn't know what to expect. 

The only thing Stan could think about was why. 

"Isn't there a single universe where I get to keep two of everything?"

AUStan broke into a smile. 

"That's what I said," 

"Well then you had the money on the nose because this is just stupid," He threw his hands into the air. "It's like the universe is out to get us," he shook his head. 

 _Arm gone. Honestly._  

"What happened to your eyes anyway," 

Stan looked out toward the light of the cave entrance. His thoughts went to Ford. 

"I ... I'd rather not say," he shrugged. "Doesn't matter anyways. What's done is done," He glanced over to AUStan. "You? Your arm?"

AUStan gave a sage nodded. 

" ... Space Pirates," 

Stan took a moment to absorb this. 

"That's ... ," Then his eyes widened and he smiled. "That's genius. I hope you don't mind, but I'm taking a leaf out of your book. I think I'll go with ... killer mermaids. Yeah, that sounds fun. Attacked by a gorgeous set of these killer mermaids. They were so beautiful, I couldn't see anything after I left - ,"

AUStan laughed a good hearty chuckle. 

"How about carnivorous ostrich?"

Stan grinned. 

"Eye bats. I think that's a thing. My eyes are eye bats. Badly damaged because they can still pop out and fly away _right now_ ," 

AUStan pointed.

" _That's_ a good one,"

"I'll have to save it for later then,"

"That you will ... ," AUStan trailed off, and Stan quieted too. 

Their smiles fell and they looked at the ceiling. Stan closed his eyes, letting the comforting blackness consume him. He tapped his fingers in a nervous pattern against his knee

"Startin' to regret tellin' him to go. Hehe,"

"Why?"

"Hm? Oh, uh. Never mind,"

"Alright ... so uh - what's with your brother?"

"What, Ford?"

"Yeah,"

Stan frowned. 

"Ford ... saw stuff," 

AUFord looked at him.

"And you didn't?"

"Couldn't - remember?"

"Lucky?"

"To have Ford maybe. Still didn't exactly get the better half of the deal, but at least they're healing, right?" 

AUStan tried to think that over. Stan looked over to his counterpart. 

"You alone then?"

"Hmm?"

"Here. In the portal. How's that?"

AUStan shrugged. 

"Sixer was fallin' in. I pushed him out of the way," 

"I ... I didn't even know that was an option," 

"Yeah well - and here I am so ... ,"

Stan bit his lip.

"You uh ... weren't actually going to shoot Ford were you? When we first saw you. You weren't going to actually shoot him, right?"

AUStan rubbed his nose. 

" ... probably not,"

"Because ... I have a problem with that,"

"No, right. Don't worry. Won't happen again," He sniffed. "Probably,"

"I'm kinda serious," 

AUStan shrugged. 

"So am I," 

Stan blinked. 

"So ... we're clear then?"

"Yeah, no problem," 

"Okay good," 

"But the other one ... ,"

Stan sighed. 

"Yeah I think he's off limits too," 

"What's it matter to you?"

"Well what's it matter to you?"

AUStan shrugged.

"Fair point,"

"You realize you're making me leery?"

"Yeah I thought so," AUStan chuckled. "Gotta keep you on your toes right?"

Stan smiled. 

"So I guess neither of us are getting any sleep tonight?"

"Nope," 

"Well now you've turned me into a hypocrite," 

"How so?"

"I keep getting on Ford's case for not sleeping,"

"Oh, right,"

"But really - what was with the blaster thing?"

"Earlier?"

"Yeah," 

"I was annoyed,"

"By what?"

AUStan waved Stan away. 

"Doesn't matter. S'all good now,"

Stanley pursed his lips.

"Right ... ," He frowned. "Whatever it was though ... stay away from Ford," and then as an after thought. "Both of them I guess," 

AUStan laughed. 

"Lighten up. I didn't mean anything by it," 

Stan rolled his eyes.

"Sure you didn't," He sighed. "Look, I don't care about whatever's eatin' you, because It's not eatin' me. Just don't - ," 

"Don't act like that,"

"What?"

"We aren't that different. You were on your own for a while. Or has being with Ford turned you soft?" 

"Soft?" Stan raised a brow.

AUStan was about to continue when he stopped. His eyes widened and he burst into a laugh.

"Ha Ha Ha! Oh man! I'm sorry. I just realized how that sounds,"

Stan shook his head and chuckled.

"I can't believe you just said that,"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. But I can't think of any better way to phrase it," he chuckled once more. "You get what I mean, right? You know what I'm talking about,"

Stan waved him off, still smiling. 

"Yeah, I get it," he shook his head and let his smile fade. "You're talking about Colombia right?"

AUStan smile dropped and then turned into a frown.

"I hadn't even thought about Colombia. But yeah. Like that,"

"Look I've had my moments, but your right. I have gone ... 'Soft'," he made quotation marks with his fingers and he couldn't keep from laughing when he said it.

"We're gonna forget that right?"

"Nope,"

AUStan laughed. 

"Yeah, alright. I deserve that," 

"Yeah you do. And if your telling me you've accepted what happened in Colombia - ,"

"Accepted? That was an accident. Not our fault at all when you think about it,"

"Eh, if you squint. Colombia ... I'd say I'm not gonna let something like that happen again but - ,"

"But it already has - hasn't it?"

"Yeah. And it was exactly like Colombia. In a way," 

"I've had that too. When it's life or death - ,"

"But ... it wasn't. It was thinking vs I just couldn't care less. It was me vs them and a single goal in mind when nothing else matters. It ... its so easy because I got what I wanted in the end,"

"Just don't worry about it," 

"I'd love to. I don't a lot of the time actually. But Ford ... ,"

"Yeah I see how he could be a problem,"

"No. Ford isn't a problem. He's ... the solution I guess. But if that's how you see it then I maybe that's where we find the line. The difference between us,"

"Maybe. But I don't have anything against Ford. Not personally. I stopped caring when I realized it took up too much energy. Can't really spend your days and nights focusing on something you can't change - you know?"

"Not really. Ford is ... ,"

"Unforgettable?"

"Yeah,"

"Really it's all just a matter of deciding whats worth caring about. And the less you worry about things, the more energy you can focus on stuff that'll keep you alive,"

"Assuming staying alive is something to care about," 

"Yeah, but that's something else entirely. I don't even want to go there,"

"Well good. At least we can agree on that," 

AUStan laughed.

"Yeah ... ,"

"I mean it though. Stay away from Ford,"

"You're so serious. There's no need to get all paranoid and bent outta shape,"

"If you thought I might shoot your Ford - wouldn't you feel the same?"

"Why do I get the feeling you wouldn't?"

"I might. Just like I know you might. If I had reason. Or if I just couldn't care less because I gave up worrying about things like Colombia,"

AUStan's smile dropped and he sighed. 

"Yeah, alright. I get what you mean,"

Stan nodded. They both let the silence hang in the air. Stan tapped his fingers against his leg. 

"You'd think this would be weirder,"

" ... you would, wouldn't you?"

"At this point its just sort of - eh,"

"Kinda, yeah,"

They were silent again. 

"So, uh ... ,"

AUStan rolled his gaze across the ceiling to where Stanley sat.

"Yeah?"

"They aren't going to find anything to eat out there, are they?"

AUStan pulled himself out of his mood and chuckled. 

"Nope," 

Stan shook his head, but he couldn't help smiling. His stomach growled, interrupting them. He glanced around the small cave. 

"So then what have you been eating?"

AUStan blinked. He stood up and walked over to a few boxes. Reaching in, he pulled out a can and was about to toss it to Stan before he thought better of it. 

"Here," AUStan dropped it in his hands.

Stanley tried to take a look. His lips formed a tight line before he ripped off the top and settle for sniffing the contents. 

" ... meat?"

"Probably. Tastes good enough," 

Stan threw back the can and started devouring the questionable canned goods.

"Mmmm," he looked down at it, mouth full. "Whar'd du get tis?"

AUStan shrugged and rubbed his nose. 

"Stuff falls from the sky a lot,"

***

"Was I goaded into this?"

Ford looked over at his counterpart. He thought a moment. 

"Yes ... yes you w-were,"

AUFord sighed. 

"How does he keep doing that? Just when I thought I had him - but he trick me _again_ ," 

Ford shrugged. 

"A-at least you're s-self aware,"

"Does that really make it any better? Did you know? Could you tell?"

Ford waved his hands in a more or less gesture. 

"A little," 

"How do you do that? How do you see through his tricks?"

Ford frowned. 

"He isn't ... Stan's n-not like that," He gave his counterpart a hard glare. "He isn't," 

AUFord leaned away from his counterpart for a moment. 

"No right of course," he looked up at the trees. "I wasn't saying he's like ... you know," 

"You were m-making connections. Don't - don't even go there. Not even in your own h-head," 

"Right ... ," His gaze wandered around the vegetation around them. "But he does keep tricking me. And you too sometimes, right? But sometimes not. How do you do that? How do you see through him?"

Ford fiddled with his extra finger.

"How did y-you? When ... it was before? He's been your b-brother too," 

AUFord folded his hands and put his fingers to his lips. 

"I suppose," His eyes unfocused as he thought about it. "So is it familiarity? Time?"

Ford shrugged.

"Common s-sense too," he looked down. "Never used to have m-m-much of _that_ ," 

AUFord sighed. 

"Yes, I know what you mean," he wrung his hands. "But Stanley is so ... so _frustrating_. I want to hate him and then he does something that's so - endearing. And so I want to like him, but then he does something so - _annoying_. I wish he'd just make up his mind," AUFord shook his head. 

Ford pursed his lips. 

"Maybe ... it's _you_. Maybe _you_ need to m-make up your m-mind,"

AUFord's brow knitted together. 

" ... it's a thought," 

They kept walking. Ford's eyes shifted around him - trying to take everything in all at once. AUFord pursed his lips as he got lost in thought. Ford reflected back on the incident they left behind.

"D-did you know - ," he didn't know what he was doing or what he was saying. "D-d-did you know that c-campfires c-can get up to n-nine h-hundred d-d-degrees?"

AUFord glanced at him confused. 

"Of course - Fahrenheit correct?"

Ford nodded. AUFord stared at him as if expecting more. 

"Is that supposed to mean something?"

Ford swallowed at then shook his head. 

"N-no I - I just th-think about th-that some-sometimes,"

AUFord nodded slowly and they kept walking. Ford sighed. 

"This is h-h-hopeless though,"

AUFord glanced at him.

"It is isn't it? What were we even looking for? Berries? Fruit? A box of filleted fish already cooked and ready?"

"It sounded p-plausible before we l-left,"

"See this is what I'm talking about. This whole thing's been ridiculous, yet somehow Stanley still tricked us into coming out here to look for food,"

Ford shrugged. AUFord ran a hand through his hair.

"We should probably get back,"

"O-okay," 

"And if we don't starve, remind me to not blast him,"

Ford glanced at him darkly.

"Don't you d-dare,"

They turned to walk back up the hill and froze. Standing in front of them was a colorful pelt that stood broad and menacing. 

"Oh, no,"

The creature let out a tiger's yowl and jumped at them. AUFord spun on his heel

"Run!" 

Ford stood stock still, eyes wide, unable to move. AUFord glanced back at him.

"Move!"

The tiger knocked Ford to the floor with a growl and AUFord whipped out his blaster. He sent out a shot, but the creature lept out of the way. It slinked forward, a low growl echoing from it's throat. AUFord lifted his gun, only for the creature to swipe it away with a paw. 

"Stanford _run_ ,"

Ford couldn't move. He blinked from his back on the ground and his fists clenched into trembling fists. The tiger lept at AUFord and he somersaulted aside. He looked at his counterpart and thought of leading the creature away and scaling a tree. Then another idea came to him.

"Stanford you'll die if you just sit there - Stanley will be _horrified_ ,"

The tiger lept at him again and he jumped to the side. But the creature wouldn't let up. AUFord's eyes widened as it's tail flicked in anticipation. He turned around and ran. 

Ford blinked, his mind filled with visions of the future. In a second he was on his feet, his throat tight. But his body moved and he looked around for something to do. He caught sight of the abandoned blaster. Running full speed, he swiped it off the ground and headed after the creature and AUFord. 

A well aimed shot later, and the two Fords took a moment to breath. AUFord shook his head. 

"That was far too close. One of these days your gonna get yourself killed,"

Ford squeezed his eyes shut. 

"Mm,"

***

"Wh - where? What? H - how? You had food this _whole time?"_

"It's delicious. Really hits the spot. You gotta try some," 

AUFord's hand twitched to his blaster. Ford elbowed him. Hard. 

"Ow! Yeesh, I wasn't - ,"

"Heads up," 

AUFord's eyes widened as AUStan sent a metal can hurtling towards his face. 

"Whoa! Hey!" he caught the can, taking a step back. 

AUStan threw another to Ford. He caught it.

"Enjoy," 

Stan gestured toward his empty can.

"Yeah it isn't chewy at all. It's ... 'soft'," he made quotation marks with his fingers and laughed. 

AUStan put a hand over his face and chuckled. The Fords stared at them confused. 

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," AUStan waved them off. "Forget about it,"

Stan laughed.

"I'm never letting you live that down,"

AUFord frowned. 

"You've known of each other's existence - what? Less than a day? And you already have inside jokes?"

Ford nudged him. 

"W-we should do that," he raised a brow and smiled then walked over and sat next to Stanley. 

AUFord was at a loss for words. 

"Um ... right," 

"Thanks for letting us use your cave by the way," 

AUStan looked over to his counterpart.

"Sure, no problem. Mi casa es tu casa ... porque tu eres mi,"

Stan smiled.

"Si, somos el mismo,"

"Pero nos hermano ... hermanos? Son muy abburrido,"

"Si, un poco,"

"No, un mucho,"

"Is that - Spanish?" 

The Fords were looking at them strange. AUStan shrugged.

"Si, hablo espanol,"

"Un poco. Yo no mucho bueno. Pero en Colombia, mi amigos hablas espanol, y aprende un poco,"

"Es muy divertidas, si?"

"Si. Ahora comprendo que fue como para todos hablar la lengua y para mi no comprender. Fueron muy molestia, pero ahora pienso que es muy divertida,"

"Como un secreto lengua,"

"You're still speaking in Spanish,"

AUStan laughed. 

"Tu cabeza es como un gato," 

Stan frowned confused.

"Um, wait what?"

AUStan shrugged.

"My vocabulary is limited,"

***

They were all sitting down and eating out of their individual cans when a critter came into the cave. AUFord frowned.

"Is that - a squirrel?"

"Demon squirrel?"

AUStan laughed.

"A what?"

Stan shrugged.

"That's what I like to call them. They're awful jerks, and awfully adorable too," Stan looked at the brown figure that was taking a tentative hop towards them. 

Ford took out his journal. He eyed the creature and took the opportunity to create a sketch. 

"Oh yeah hey. Get a good drawing of it. Don't forget its teeth," 

Ford nodded at Stan's suggestion. 

"Yeah here. They look like - like ... ," Stan frowned. Then he brightened. "Wait I have an idea," he held out his half empty can and shook it. "Here squirrely, squirrely, squirrely. Come consume the canned flesh like the demon you are,"

AUFord grimaced. 

"Stan don't feed it meat. If it's a herbivore you could seriously disrupt it's digestive track,"

AUStan waved AUFord off. 

"Nah, they've dug through this stuff before. I've had over a dozen of these little rodents all rummaging around those cans," AUStan nudged his counterpart. "Go on. It'll be funny,"

Stan grinned. 

"Here squirrely, squirrely, squirrely. Canned fleeeesh,"

AUFord frowned as the squirrel got closer. 

"Don't say it like that. You sound ... deranged,"

"Whatever Au," Stan shook the can again and the squirrel hopped up and looked into it. Stan set it down on the ground and watched as the squirrel showed its two long teeth - "It's like a beaver sort of - Fascinating," AUFord mumbled - then picked at the can's contents. 

Stan laughed as the squirrel dug into the meat. 

"Oh yeah. Definitely a demon,"

Ford continued to sketch its picture and write little notes around its quickly forming image. Stan picked up another can he had sitting nearby and started eating it in time with the squirrel. 

"It's good isn't it? Not the best stuff in the multi-verse, but it's good,"

"Stan - you're talking to a squirrel,"

"Can it, Au,"

AUStan grinned.

"Literally," and he shoved the remaining contents of his own can onto AUFord's head. 

AUFord froze at the sudden feeling of meat dripping from his hair. 

"S-Stanley Pines - !"

They all stopped suddenly and turned towards the sounds of painful hacking. Three of their eyes went wide - one with a smile on his face - but Stanley leaned down and squinted at the squirrel in confusion. 

"Hey? You okay little guy?"

He got choking sounds in response. Stan reached down and picked the small creature up in his arms. 

"What's wrong?" Stan turned to his brother and hissed into his ear. "Ford what's wrong with him?"

Ford only stared from the struggling form of the squirrel to his brother's troubled expression, over to the freighting smile behind him. Ford shivered. He put a comforting hand on Stan's shoulder, but words escaped him. 

The creature started to gurgle and foam at the mouth. Stan stared down at it eyes wide. 

"Are you - are you _dying_?" Stan lept to his feet. "Hot Belgium waffles! We gotta do something!"

AUFord didn't know what to say. He thought of possible solutions, but the brown ball of fur in Stan's arms was already starting to asphyxiate and grow still. 

"Whoa, whoa, hey. Come on, what are you doing? Hold in there," He looked over to the three of them still sitting down. "Water! I need water! Do we have that? Do you think that might help?"

AUFord shook his head.

"We don't have any right here Stanley. Why do you think we went to the falls?"

"Then what good are you Au?" he stepped back and went to exit the cave. He tripped over one of their things and fell. The dying squirrel fell out his arms and landed with a thud on the ground. Stan got up and stepped over to it. He nudged it with a hand. "Hey. Hey come on. You're not dead yet are you? Don't be dead. That wouldn't be very nice,"

AUStan rolled his eyes.

"What was that? About 150 seconds? Two - three minutes maybe? Yeah I'd call it time of death," 

Stan blinked down at the creature's corpse slowly growing cold beneath his fingers.

"That one sure lasted longer than I expected. New record I think," AUStan chuckled. "Though not by long,"

Stan stood to his feet and turned to stare at his counterpart - face blank, expression unreadable. AUFord stared at AUStan in horror. 

"I thought you said it'd be okay!"

AUStan shrugged. 

"I said it'd be funny. And it is," he smiled wide. "Those thieving little rodents should know better by now not to touch my stuff," he rose to his feet. 

Stan stood stone still as AUStan ignored him and walked over to the dead squirrel laying on the ground. 

"These things are huge pests," he gave its body an impressive kick that sent it hurtling out of cave. Some where out side an over sized bird could be heard cawing as it snatched up its easy prey. "And hey, circle of life and all that," he turned to his unresponsive counterpart with a strange look. He clamped a hand on his shoulder. "Oie," he murmured in Stan's ear. "It's just a _squirrel_ ," he backed up and gave a questioning nod. "Yeah?"

Stan looked at him. His brain had temporarily turned off. He blinked at his counterpart in confusion. He looked down where the squirrel had been, and then to outside where it was now gone. He blinked again. 

" ... yeah," 

Ford stood up and walked over to Stan, but AUStan punched his arm playfully, forcing him to step back with and wary frown.

"Fantastic! Because you have to admit - that was funny right? I bet you weren't expecting _that_ were you?"

Stan blinked at the wide smile on his counterpart's face and felt like he should be smiling too. 

"Sure," he shrugged. And with that single movement his entire body relaxed. His smile grew wider. He shook his head. "Oh wow. You had me. You really had me,"

AUStan laughed and threw his arm over Stan's shoulder. AUFord frowned. 

"That was really messed up you two,"

Stan shrugged. 

"Nah, it was funny. I mean come on Au. It was just a _squirrel_ ,"

***

"And the moral of the story is: None of this is my fault,"

Stan finished telling his tale of their most recent adventure and AUStan laughed.

"I'll say,"

Outside the sun had already started to set and the four of them were sitting in the cave by the light of an over-sized lamp.

"Wait," AUFord looked at Stan confused. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"No I get it," AUStan nodded his head. "It makes perfect sense,"

AUFord frowned.

"To you maybe," he looked over to his counterpart as if he could find an answer there.

Ford shrugged. AUFord told himself he should have known better.

"Okay, so Space Slavers are exciting," AUStan leaned forward. "But my single-handed victory is a lot more impressive I can guarantee ... mostly because that's literal,"

Stan smiled and ran a hand through his hair.

"Oh, you think so do you? Alright. Let's hear it,"

"So I was up against this 1,000 foot tall snake - ,"

AUFord interrupted.

"1,000 feet?"

"Yeah a 1,000. So anyways I had one blaster and was already tired after some bad sleep. These birds hadn't stopped screeching in my ears all night long and it was really annoying - ,"

"Do you even know how tall 1,000 feet is?"

Stan groaned.

"Don't start Au,"

"What? 1,000 feet is a near impossible height for a snake. And to assume that you were able to 'single-handedly' take it down - with only a blaster no less. Of course if there was something else playing as a factor then that might change things - ,"

"Come on. Just enjoy the story,"

"See? There you go again," AUFord turned to AUStan. "I don't want whatever fictional tale your about to spin. I'd much more enjoy the _truth_ please,"

Stan snorted, but AUStan waved him off.

"No, no. Au's right. The truth can have it's appeal,"

AUFord eyed AUStan suspiciously.

"I am right, but why are you agreeing with me?"

Stan rolled his eyes.

"Well now I'm offended,"

"You're being rude again Au,"

AUFord threw his hands up in the air.

"I am not. I just don't see why you can't tell a story without embellishing to the point of absurdity,"

Stan shrugged.

"It's what the people want Au,"

AUFord looked between the two Stans agitated. He appealed to Ford.

"I don't suppose you'll help me with this?"

Ford shook his head smiling.

"Don't go dragging Ford into this," Stan gave his brother's arm a light punch. "He likes my stories,"

Ford shrugged and waved his hand in a more or less gesture. Stan frowned.

"Well that's disheartening,"

"I can assure you Au. This snake was very tall, and I was very poorly armed," AUStan smiled wide at his own pun.

"Yes, well I'm sure. I don't doubt _that_. I have proof enough of you capabilities from _earlier_ , but - ,"

"Earlier?" AUStan looked at him confused.

"Yes. You give surprisingly strong embraces for someone with only one arm,"

"Oh, yeah. Almost forgot about that," AUStan's smile wavered slightly, then came back in full force as a thought entered his head. "Want another one?" he spread his arms wide.

AUFord blinked in surprise. Stan looked at his counterpart then let his eyes sneak to his brother.

"That sounds like a _great_ idea ... ,"

"Ack!" Ford yelped in surprise as he was attacked in a full force bear hug by his brother. "S-S-Stanley - !" but he couldn't keep the small smile off his face in the gesture.

AUStan laughed then eyed AUFord.

"So what do say Au?"

AUFord sprang to his feet.

"I need some air," he retreated out of the cave, not looking back.

Stan let go of Ford and watched AUFord leave.

"He needs to lighten up,"

Ford mumbled something and Stan frowned.

"Well, maybe ... ,"

AUStan leaned back.

"I get the sneaky suspicion that he doesn't like any of us,"

"Well it's not like he hasn't said as much," Stan looked at Ford and then the cave entrance. "Here give me a minute. I'll be right back," he got up and walked after AUFord.

Ford reached out a hand and tried to pull back. Stan heard him hiss his name under his breath. He turned to him.

"I'll be right back poindexter. No problem k?" he gave his brother a reassuring smile, then headed out. He stopped a second and looked between AUStan and Ford. He put a finger to his ear, then pointed in each of their general direction and finished with a questioning thumbs up. "I hear everything. Don't do anything I wouldn't. We're good? K," he saluted then exited the cave.

Ford sighed then leaned back. He cast a wary glance over to AUStan. Ford stiffened when he saw AUStan was already staring at him with a smile.

***

"Au, Hey wait up,"

AUFord turned to see Stan walk over.

"What do you want Stanley?"

"Honestly? Ice cream,"

AUFord sighed.

"Can't you leave me be for one moment?" he walked further down the hill.

"Hey wait for me - whoa - ," Stan slipped a little ways then regained his balance.

AUFord glanced back at him in concern. Stan flashed him a cheesy grin.

"Heh. Meant to do that," He took a confident step forward and slipped. "Gah!"

AUFord stepped forward to catch him before his face planted into the ground.

"You shouldn't be out here. Not alone at least,"

Stan found his footing.

"I'm not alone. You're here,"

"That's not what I meant,"

Stan glanced around and then leaned on (he hoped) a tree.

"Lighten up Au. Everything's gonna be fine,"

"The level of your willful ignorance is impressive Stanley,"

"Whoever said it's willful?" he grinned. "I thought we agreed. I ain't the sharpest crayon in the box,"

"Mm," AUFord leaned against a tree of his own. "I don't suppose you'll leave me to some peace and quiet?"

"I don't suppose you'll let me tell you a joke?"

"Then I guess we both don't get what we want,"

Stan laughed.

"Shot down. I like it,"

AUFord frowned, but didn't reply. He looked at Stanley and then let his gaze wander around the rest of the forest. Stan tapped his fingers against his leg.

"What are ya thinking about Au?"

AUFord shrugged.

"It shouldn't matter to you,"

"Don't be like that. Here I'll be quiet. I'm all ears - k?"

AUFord glanced at him.

"Um, no thank you,"

Stan rolled his eyes.

"Fine. If you don't want to talk then I will,"

"Of course you will,"

"Because, you know Au. I've been thinking,"

"That's a new one,"

Stan chuckled.

"Yeah ... ," he stopped tapping his leg. "But I've been thinking," he let his smile drop. "That you're kinda grumpy - ,"

"What do you expect? I can't even take a moment to myself without you running out to bother me. The moment we find a way off this planet - I'm leaving. No more Stanley Pines to annoy and infuriate and bug and bug and _bug_. Your insurable Stanley. Honestly sometimes I wonder if you have any brain at all. And other times? Other times I think maybe us getting separated was a _good_ thing,"AUFord ran a hand over his face and looked pointedly away.

Stan stared at the ground.

"I'm not gonna lie. That ... that kinda hurts," he gave a forced smile. "But you know. I didn't mean grumpy per say. I just meant - ,"

"You think I'm being a jerk,"

"I was gonna say ... lonely?"

AUFord stared at him confused.

"Lonely?"

Stan shrugged.

"A little, yeah. Or maybe a lot? I don't know. But I do know what it looks like. And I do know what it feels like. It ain't pleasant. I just wish I knew how to help, but I'm not your Stanley. I ... I know there isn't anything to help bring you him, and I know being around me is probably only making it worse - ,"

"Why do you care?"

Stan paused.

"I ... I don't know," he shrugged. "You're Stanford. You're not _my_ Stanford, but for some reason that doesn't matter. I wished I didn't care honestly. Your right - you have been a bit of a jerk. And it still cuts, even though you aren't my Ford. But Stanford is Stanford and it's like there's these universal rules when it comes to different versions of ourselves," he shifted. "It's like me and AUStan. I barely know him, and I already don't trust him as far as I could throw him. So when it's you - ,"

"You don't trust AUStan?"

"What?" Stan blinked. "Oh, yeah, no," Stan shrugged. "Because I know me, and I don't trust him. But you're Stanford - ,"

"You don't trust yourself?"

Stan rubbed his nose.

"I'm trying to explain something here Au. Does this really matter?"

"What could you possibly do besides trick us into looking for watermelons or something?"

Stan rolled his eyes.

"Look, it's fun being the but of your jokes all the time, but AUStan is not me. I mean he is, but he isn't. I'm just warning you because - well what am I saying? You saw me. On the space station. That kid,"

AUFord frowned.

"Yeah ... I did. I almost forgot about that,"

Stan fiddled with his fingers and mumbled to himself.

"So much for not thinking about it," An idea entered his head. He turned to AUFord and smiled wide. AUFord frowned

"What?"

Stan let out a chuckle.

"It's just hilarious is all," He laughed some more. A long, loud laugh. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

AUFord looked at him bewildered.

"Ha ha ha ha ha!" Stan didn't stop, hoping maybe if he just kept laughing AUFord would get so confused he wouldn't remember what they were talking about. Somewhere after a few long seconds he started to get into it and his smile grew wider as genuine joy coursed through him. There really was something about the whole fake it till you make it thing.

Something occurred to AUFord and he stepped back again. This time in fear, and this time he tripped over himself, falling to the ground.

Stan stopped laughing. He looked at AUFord confused, but he still felt happy and his wide smile didn't disappear from his face.

"Au?"

AUFord wanted to whip his blaster out, but he remembered the ship. But if he was right then how could he not? Was he right? This wasn't Stan. How could it be? How could any of it be? He was acting so strange, and now they were alone and what would Stan do? What would he do? What would his counterpart do if he was wrong? He didn't feel like getting in another fist fight with him. It kept him from tackling Stan and instead glued to the ground in fear. If this was Stan - then what was _wrong_ with him?

He didn't know. How could he? Maybe this was normal. Maybe it was just Stan. Or maybe Stan had been infected with some poison while they were in the forest and now signs were appearing, but he didn't know Stanley well enough to tell.

"What is _wrong_ with you?"

Stan's smile dropped.

"What?"

AUFord scrambled to his feet and retreated away. He left Stanley where he was. He needed a less frenzied mind to give him a second opinion. Ironically enough it would have to be the one out of all of them that was arguably the least sane.

Stan watched him go. Any feelings of amusement or joy that was left drained out of him. He leaned his back against the tree and slid to the ground.

_That's great. This is just ... great._

He laid his arms on his knees and stared at the ground.

One of these days, he knew he was gonna have to finally do something right.

He snorted.

Apparently today just wasn't that day.

***

"You don't say much do you?"

Ford swallowed, shook his head, then looked away.

"Well that's alright. I can talk well enough for two. Three, maybe four people if I really tried, who knows?"

Ford fiddled with his extra fingers, still not looking at AUStan.

"I gotta say, I wasn't expecting to run into you three today. But then who ever is? It's been fun. Things get quiet after a while you know? Especially when the walls keep ignoring you when your trying to TALK TO THEM!"

Ford jumped as AUStan's voice echoed across the cave. AUStan threw his thumb over his shoulder.

"Jerks,"

Ford frowned and looked pointedly at the floor.

"I'm just kidding. I don't talk to the walls. They aren't alive. But the trees on the other hand. Nah, I'm just kidding about that too. Although I'm sure there's a universe out there where trees talk. Walls too when I think about it. And probably a universe with chocolate as a currency. Wouldn't that be fun? Chocolate currency. I could hop on that train. Oh, but wait. Then every one would be touching your chocolate, and you couldn't eat it because destroying currency is a crime. Trust me I know. Governments sure are picky about their money. You can't destroy the stuff. You can't make the stuff. Yeesh make up your mind, ya know? Personally I think they're just touchy about all their hard work being thrown down the drain. But then they gather up all the used bills and dispose of them 'properly'. Its like - either you want it to exist, or you don't. You can't have it both ways. Right Stanford? They say they want us to have it, so why can't we do what we want with it? Can't have it both ways. It kind of reminds me of you. Remember? Back by the portal. That happened to you too, right? Your journal?"

Ford looked up at AUStan. AUStan smiled when their eyes made contact.

"See I thought so. When I was talking with my other self it seemed like everything happened to us exactly the same up until the moment we fell through the portal. I was wondering what you thought about that. It's kind of all your fault. If you hadn't been building that dumb machine. Or maybe if you'd just never called me to gravity falls in the first place. Didn't you ever think that maybe I was doing better on my own? I mean really Stanford. Whatever messes I might have got in. Whatever mistakes I might have made. None of them were as big as your 'portal' fiasco,"

Ford flinched. AUStan took note of that.

"But hey. It's not like I'm blaming you. Don't worry, we're alright. If I was being honest the real culprit is _me_. Or well. Maybe not 'me' me. The other me. At least I pushed my Ford out of the way. I did by-the-by. But your Stanley. He got you both stuck in here. Way to go. Way to screw-up, am I right?" AUStan smiled. "You agree don't you? It's all his fault really. After we trashed that project of yours. Ruined your life with that one didn't we? And he can't even get it right to keep you out of the portal," AUStan shook his head. "Don't you agree?"

Ford looked at AUStan confused.

"W-w-wh-what?"

AUStan raised a brow.

"Is that a stutter?"

Ford frowned and looked away.

"Wow. I bet that's my other self's doing too. Some how, some way, I'm sure it is. It just makes sense you know? And I bet he feels _bad_ about it too. Or something. I told him to just forget about it. Stuff like this. They don't matter. But you're really holding him down. Trust me I know. Seeing you Fords is fun and all, but your really doing more harm then good. I'm actually kind of glad I'm not stuck with you in the portal here. I would _not_ want to be the other me,"

"S-s-stop,"

AUStan chuckled.

"Lighten up. I'm just trying to make you uncomfortable," he leaned back.

Ford looked at AUStan bewildered.

"W-w-w-wh-what? W-w-why?"

AUStan rubbed his nose.

"No reason. Just uh ... seems fun," then he grinned wide and stared at Ford. He reached into his jacket and pulled out his blaster. "What do you think?"

Ford eyed it warily. AUStan jumped up and sat next to him.

"I found it a few dimension back. It's fantastic. Never runs out of ammo, and bonus - it looks cool," he waved it in Ford's face. "You know there are some pretty bad nightmares out here, but if you know where to look you can find a lot of amazing stuff too. I ran across a dragon. A _dragon_ Stanford. It was hoarding all this gold. I'll tell you right now, I was standing there a least a full minute simply in shock. Of course the second I tried to nab some, the dragon was right on my heels. But eh. That's what this beauty 's for," he gestured to the gun again. "And then there was that time I ran into all those giant rats. They were wearing hats. Not just any hats either. Crowns. I mean, seriously. How many king rats does one place need? Right?" He nudged Ford with his shoulder making him lean away. "And don't even get me started on all of those cats that are floating around here. Giant rainbow tigers the whole lot of them. But thanks to this dream ... well there are a whole lot less than when I got here I'll tell you that much,"

Ford swallowed.

"Y-y-you k-k-k-killed t-t-th-them?"

AUStan gave him a strange look.

"It's just a bunch of animals. Like hunting deer really. It's not like I shot a different version of my brother from another universe," AUStan paused and watched Ford closely. "Though if I did," he tapped his gun thoughtfully. "It would be for interrupting all of my evil plans that'd I'd been working so hard on for such on long time ... ," AUStan cocked the barrel of his gun.

Ford eyes widened and he scrambled away from his seat. AUStan let out a long hearty laugh. He got to his feet and Ford stepped back.

"What's the matter Stanford? I thought we were talking?"

Ford tried to say something, but the words stuck in his throat.

AUStan adjusted the barrel and then pointed it at Ford.

"Why do you look so worried? It's the shoes isn't it?" He looked down at his boots. "I knew I should've cleaned them today," he shrugged. "Eh, too little too late," he pulled the trigger.

Ford's stomach did a double flip and he ducked his head in his arms.

There was a long pause. Ford listened to his racing heart and wondered why it was still beating. Nothing had happened. After along moment Ford heard a soft sigh.

"Yeesh Sixer. You're so skiddish,"

He looked up and saw AUStan staring at him with a frown. He walked over and Ford took a shaky step back. AUStan stopped and raised his hand in surrender.

"Hey, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you that bad. Here look," he flipped his blaster around and held it out.

Ford eyed it warily and AUStan gestured for him to take it. Ford grabbed it with a trembling hand.

"I turned the safety on - see? I wasn't goin' to shoot you. Are you shaking Sixer?" AUStan stepped up and wrapped his good arm over Ford should. "Hot Belgium waffles. I didn't mean to get you so spooked," he led Ford back over to sit down.

"Yeesh, look at you. Your a mess,"

Ford gritted his teeth.

"W-w-w-wh-what i-is _w-wrong_ w-w-with y-y-you?"

AUStan looked him up and down.

"No offense Ford, but what's wrong with _you_? Do you need a blanket or something? Your teeth are almost chattering,"

"Stanford! _Stanford_!"

AUStan and Ford turned to see AUFord walk back into the cave. He looked even more frazzled then when he left, but stopped when he caught sight of Ford.

"What happened to you?"

Ford shrugged AUStan's arm off of him and AUFord's gaze turned to the other Stanley who was eyeing him curiously.

"What happened to _you_ Sixer?"

AUFord's shoulders shook.

"I told you not to call me that!"

AUStan shrugged and AUFord's gaze whipped to Ford.

"Something is _wrong_ with your brother,"

The way he said it made Ford hope AUFord simply meant Stan was hurt.

"But I'm starting to think it's not _just_ him,"

Ford was confused. He looked from AUFord to AUStan to the entrance of the cave. He took in a shaky breath than headed out.

"Whoa, wait. Where are you going?"

He didn't glance back at AUStan's voice. AUFord grabbed his arm.

"Something is wrong with him Stanford. But I don't know if - ,"

Ford shook AUFord off and stared at him.

"I-I-I sw-swear. I-I-If y-y-you d-d-did a-a-any-anything - ,"

" _Me_? He was laughing like a maniac Stanford! If it wasn't for the eyes then I'd honestly think - !"

"I-I-I t-told y-y-you n-n-not t-t-to - ,"

"You didn't _see_ him! He doesn't show _you_! You didn't see back at the space station with that _kid_! He would have _killed_ him if I hadn't stopped him first!"

Ford stopped and blinked, stunned. He looked over at AUStan who was calmly eyeing the outburst. Ford's hands shook, but he shoved them into his pockets and walked out.

"Stanford _wait_ ,"

Ford put his head down, not bothering to mind AUFord's calls for him to come back.

AUStan watched him go. He glanced at AUFord.

"Looks like it's just me and you then eh?"

AUFord scowled and walked out. AUStan shrugged.

"Just me then I guess," he walked back and sat down. "Just me and the walls," he looked around himself. "So how are you doing?"

There was silence. AUStan nodded.

"Yeah I figured,"

***

He heard the crunch of boots on leaves.

"Who's there?"

"S-Stan?"

"Ford?" Stan stood up against his tree.

"S-Stanley a-a-are y-y-you - ,"

"Okay? Yeah, I'm fine, no worries. Au send ya out?"

Ford found Stan leaning against his tree. His whole body relaxed in relief seeing his brother was alright.

"Y-y-yes," he stopped in front of Stan, letting his eyes give him a quick once over. It was difficult to do in the night time light of a waning moon.

"Are _you_ alright Ford?" Stan put a hand on his shoulder. "Your shaking,"

Ford frowned.

"Mm,"

Stan raised a brow.

"Is that a Mm yes? Or a Mm No?"

Ford shrugged. Stan sighed.

"Did Au say something? Because I'm fine I guess. Really I am. Or wait ... ," Stan's face hardened. "He did something didn't he? AUStan. It was him wasn't it?"

Ford didn't respond. Stan hit a fist against the tree.

" _Idiot_ ,"

Ford frowned.

"H-h-he i-i-isn't - w-w-wasn't - ,"

"Not him. _Me_ ,"

"W-w-what?"

"I just don't ever _think_. I'm _such_ an idiot," he ran a hand over his face. "I should never have left should I? And now Au's freaked out - for good reason too. What was I thinking? I should never left you two alone. I should have know he'd pull something. It's not like he didn't threaten as much - ,"

"L-Lee s-s-stop!"

Stan shut his mouth. His gaze dropped to the ground with a frown.

"Sorry," Then he chuckled. "I forgot you don't like to hear that stuff," He ran his hand against the back of his neck.

"L-L-Lee ... ,"

Stan slid down the tree and sat on the ground.

"Here," he gestured for Ford to sit. " _Join me brother_ ,"

Ford smirked despite himself. He sat down next to Stanley.

"Y-you're not - You aren't an - an i-idiot,"

Stan let his gaze wander.

"Yeah well ... I sure act like it sometimes don't I?"

"W-what happened?"

Stan bit his lip.

"I ... I don't know," he put his hands on his knees. "I can never really tell what'll set you two off - but I think I freaked him out," he clenched his fists. "I was just trying to help. I didn't mean - I didn't want ... ," he frowned and looked away.

Ford heard him mumble under his breath.

" _Such an idiot,_ "

"S-stop it,"

Stan ran his gaze over to Ford.

"Well what about you? He didn't hurt you did he?"

"N-n-no," Ford frowned. "H-he ... I t-thought h-he was g-going to k-k-kill me,"

"What on earth? Ford he tried to _kill_ you?"

Ford put a hand on Stan's shoulder to keep him from getting up.

"N-n-no,"

"Then what - ,"

"It w-w-was a _j-joke_ ,"

Stan paused. He eased back to the ground and looked down. Ford sighed.

"I-it was j-just some s-s-sick _joke_ ,"

"Yeah, that sounds right,"

"S-Stan - ,"

"I'm sorry poindexter. Didn't mean to worry you,"

Ford shoved him.

"Wha- Hey!"

"It's n-not you f-fault you knucklehead,"

"Yeah, okay, okay. You don't need to go pushing me,"

"A-Apparently I d-do. Your n-not an i-idiot. It's not you f-fault, so stop blaming yourself,"

Stan smiled.

"Hypocrite. Add hypocrite to the list,"

"Yeah, you a-aren't that e-either,"

"What about Stanley supreme Lord of all? Does that go on the list of things I'm not?"

"Most d-definitely,"

"Pity. I think I'd make an excellent dictator,"

"T-they always do,"

Stan laughed. Ford elbowed him and then leaned against his shoulder.

"S-seriously though. Y-you're not an idiot,"

"Usually,"

Ford opened his mouth, but smirked instead.

"Okay. I c-concede. 'Usually',"

"And nothing 's your fault either. Right?"

Ford breathed in.

" ... right,"

"Okay," Stan nodded. "Okay ... ,"

Ford looked back to the cave.

"AUFord - ,"

"Yeah, I messed things up bad. But first things first," Stan rose to his feet. "I'm gonna duke it out with my other self - ,"

"What?"

"You seriously think I'm letting him get away with messing with you?"

"S-Stanley, you don't h-have to - ,"

"Well I want to. Besides - I have to show him that I don't care if he's taken down a 1,000 foot Snake. I can still whip him,"

Ford shook his head.

"That's r-ridiculous,"

"Eh. Ridiculous is my middle name,"

"We h-have the same m-middle name, and my middle n-name is not ridiculous,"

"Your middle name _is_ rather silly. What kind of middle name is poindexter?"

"That's not - ,"

"Onward Aoshima!"

Ford frowned.

"Okay ... that's e-enough randomness for t-today,"

"Fantastic. Because I've got a one armed version of myself from another dimension to punch,"

" ... I see your point,"

Stan smiled.

"My life sure has taken a turn for the weird,"

Ford frowned. Stan looked down and his eyes widened at Ford expression.

"But - but I'm okay with that. Prefer it even. Who wants a normal life?"

"A n-normal person m-might,"

"Well now I'm insulted. Don't you ever go thinking I'm normal. I'm your brother. That's the least from normal I can possibly think to get. We clear?"

Ford stared at him.

" ... yeah ... we're c-clear,"

"Good. Because I was serious about that fist fight. Now come on lets go," Stan walked forward and tripped. "Stupid tree roots and their stupid branches and the stupid ground that won't stay away from my stupid _face_ ,"

Ford sighed and rose to his feet.

"Y-you're n-not stupid," he took Stan's arm and helped him stand.

"Yeah, yeah,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Ford mumbles:
> 
> "He's had a rough day,"


	3. Chapter 3

At least now in the darkening gloom there was a little quiet. The cave was behind him and so was Stanley.

Both of them.

He grit his teeth in frustration. Why was Stanley so difficult? And now he brought the threat of Bill every time AUFord looked at him. Was he just paranoid? No one could blame him for having a little _caution_.

Stanley could be possessed by Bill. His other self was blinded by his connection to him. The quieter version of himself didn't want to see what was right in front of him. And even if he did, his addled mind might not recognize the signs in its fugue state.

Or maybe that was harsh.

Perhaps if he simply spoke to his counterpart. If he could convince his other self -

Or if his other self could convince him. Maybe the other Ford was right. Maybe he was being paranoid. Seeing things when they weren't there.

But if he was right that wasn't a risk he wanted to take. He'd messed up before, he wasn't going to let himself do it again.

AUFord paced back and forth between the trees.

Everything was a mess. He was a mess. Maybe not 'his other self kind of mess' -

He was doing it again. Being rude. Perhaps that other Stanley had a point ....

Or perhaps he was just as deluded as the rest of them. AUStan was brash and rude and really, _really_ annoying. It was so strange because he was exactly the way AUFord remembered Stan to be, but a million times worse.

Wait. _Was_ that how AUFord remembered Stan? What happened to the image of his brother when they were friends? When had each other's backs no matter what?

His counterpart's Stanley came to mind.

What happened when they were like _that_? What had gone so wrong?

For a moment he couldn't even remember. 

And then he did and shoved it out of his mind.

Never mind all that now. Too busy surviving the portal. Too busy watching out for - well he knew who.

Ford gritted his teeth.

Bill. That was who.

Had he really fallen so low as to not even allow himself to voice that wretched triangle's name in his thoughts? Was his fear so sharp he wouldn't condone the action? Even behind the safety of his own skull?

But of course the answer was yes. Because behind his skull wasn't safe. He wasn't safe, and Bill was still out there. Always lurking behind his latest nightmare. Even when the dream was nothing more than a twisted memory of his past, Bill's presence was always felt. Even if he knew in his subconscious world that he would one day be led to the deceiving figure of that yellow triangle. That he would be destined and doomed to make his fatal mistake of trusting him. Of trusting anyone. He trusted Stanley. He shouldn't have.

Look where it landed him.

And that laugh. Had that been a crazed Bill maniacal laugh or a normal Stanley maniacal laugh? Was maniacal laughter even normal? What had Stan been doing? There was no way that was just normal Stan. It couldn't be. Could it?

Old memories sprang to his mind. Every time Stan had mixed his mash potatoes with his milk and made Stanford watch him eat it. The time he'd found gum on the ground and had popped it into his mouth on a dare. The time Stan begged to go skydiving and Ford barely talked him down to mini golf instead.

That was just his brother being Stan wasn't it? That wasn't Bill level stuff. That wasn't suggesting he should keep secrets. That wasn't feeding his ego with sweet words of praise. He wasn't telling him not to worry about the innocuous blackouts that kept happening but everything was alright, _I've_ _got this Fordsy,_ _I_ _thought you trusted me?_

He leaned against a tree, the thoughts that followed coming unbidden against his mind.

_That hillbilly doesn't understand. If he can't trust you like I do, then he isn't worth it Fordsy._

_Don't_ _worry about that Sixer. I just slipped is all. Human meat-sacks are weird. I still_ _don't_ _get why you_ _won't_ _just float down the stairs like a normal multi-dimensional_ _being_ _._  

_I like what you've done with the place Fordsy. That triangle over there 's a bit crooked, don't you think? But hey - Do you want something? Are you trying to butter me up? 'Cause it's working._

_I don't see what the big deal is. It's just a few bruises Six Fingers. It think our bigger problem is what are you_ wearing _? Isn't that ugly sweater holiday of yours in what - three months?_

_I'm baaaaack. Did you miss me Fordsy?_

_Don't look so upset Sixer. No wait. On second thought - your cute when you're fussy over your silly physical well being. Skin bags. What a riot!_

_You figured it out! Way to go Six fingers! And it only took 127.3 hours of no sleep!_

_Don't worry Sixer. I'm not going anywhere - ever._

AUFord swallowed and steeled his mind against the wave of memories. No matter how hard he tried, that voice wouldn't get out of his head.

***

He went back towards the cave, prepared to find his other self and have an honest talk for once about the real dangers of letting Stanley's strange actions go unnoticed. He looked around and was immediately pulled to a commotion inside the cave. He walked over and found both Stans locked tight in each other's brutal grip. He was surprised to find the other Ford standing by, a little troubled, but mostly unconcerned with the brazen brawl talking place.

"What is all this?"

AUStan and Ford glanced at him. Stanley took advantage of his opponent's distraction and jammed his foot into the back of his knee, making AUStan twist underneath him and drop to the floor. AUStan rolled into Stan's legs. Stan fell back with a thud and AUStan shoved a fist into his chest. Stan moaned and kicked out. His foot collided with AUStan's face and shoved him down to the ground besides him with a groan.

"I thought we agreed not the face,"

"Forget the rules. I ain't losing," Stan rolled over and pinned AUStan underneath him. 

"You dirty rotten cheater," AUStan gasped before pushing his feet into Stan's stomach and shoving him off. 

Ford looked at the two of them worried.

"S-S-Stan. T-t-t-the _r-r-rules_. F-follow t-the _r-r-rules_ ,"

AUStan rolled over and got to his feet. He stood tall and glared at Stan, each of their heads high, chests puffed out. Then their shoulders slunk down and they took in shaky gasps as they rested their hands on their knees. 

"I - ," AUStan panted. "I get to - to blast you - ," he took in a shuddering breath. " - because of that I get to blast you,"

Stan shook his head, one hand gripping the stitch in his side and slow ache beginning to form around emerging bruises.

"Nuh - nuh uh," he sucked in air through his nose. "No wea - weapons,".

"Then - I at least - at least get to - have a face - a face shot," AUStan stood up straighter.

Stan's weariness subsided and he swallowed.

"Yeah - ," he nodded. " - yeah alright,"

AUStan nodded too, before he stepped forward with an uneven swing. Stan sidestepped and used AUStan's own momentum to push him to the ground. AUStan groaned.

"I thought you said - !"

"I'm not letting you just hit me in the face! You have to _earn_ it,"

"Oh I'll earn it - ," he kicked out and pulled Stan from under his feet. 

Stan crashed down and AUStan dragged him closer and proceeded to bash near his head as Stan breathlessly did his best to deter the heavy punches.

AUFord frowned as he watched the two go at it. They rolled around on the floor, got to their feet, jabbed each other in the gut a few times. AUStan finally got his face shot in with a punch Stan didn't see coming.

"Gah! Ow - Hey!"

AUStan gave a satisfied chuckle. Stan growled and swung. AUStan swerved, but Stan was already twisting where he knew AUStan would go. AUStan gasped as the fist hit his chest. He stepped back and held out a hand.

"Time out,"

Stan stopped. AUStan took in a few deep breaths then nodded.

"Time in," he raced up to Stan and yanked him by the neck, shoving him in a one armed head lock. 

Stan jammed his foot down, but AUStan already swung his foot back. Stan jabbed his elbow into AUStan's stomach, but AUStan held on tighter, locking the arm away from himself.

"Ain't gonna work Stanley. I know all your tricks, remember?,"

Stan growled in his grip and tore at the iron hold. AUStan held him firm and tightened his arm to cut off his air. He laughed.

"You're gonna lose,"

Stan closed his eyes and seemed to go weaker in AUStan's arm. AUStan made sure to keep his hold secure. 

"I'm not falling for that - ,"

Stan surged to AUStan's armless side and wrenched himself away. AUStan fell back in shock, only for Stan knock him off his feet and send him to the floor. AUStan clambered to his feet and charged at Stan. They collided and found themselves in a tug of war - locked like bulls in an arena. Stan fell to AUStan's one armed side, offsetting their balance and sending them tumbling away from one another. AUStan growled, only to find Stan with a fist at his side that sent him to a knee. AUStan punched him in the gut and received a wheezed gasp of response as Stan backed up, both hands holding his stomach. AUStan smirked and rose to his feet. In one smooth stride he stepped over to Stan and dodged a half hearted punch, before wrenching Stan's arm behind his back in a tight locked grip at a painful angle. Stan's breath caught in his throat.

"T-time out!"

AUStan paused confused, then shoved Stan out away. Stan stumbled forward then put his hands on his knees and took in shaking breaths. 

"D-don't do - _that_ ," Stan glanced at AUStan, still sucking in air.

AUStan rolled his eyes.

"Time in,"

"I-I didn't say - ,"

AUStan swung with a punch that collided with Stan's shoulder. Stan hissed in pain, but followed with his own solid fist in AUStan's chest. 

Ford winced. AUStan jeered in a shaky breath.

"H - had - had enough - enough yet?"

Stan shook his head.

"I - I could do this - all - all _day_ ,"

AUStan nodded.

"Me - me too,"

AUFord rolled his eyes. 

"Oh, would you two cut it out already?"

AUStan looked at him.

"Hey, I'm representing you in this thing. Do you _want_ me to throw the match?"

"What?"

"T-t-tie," Ford called out. 

Stan shook his head.

"Don't worry poindexter. I got this," he took a step forward, ready to continue. Then his eyes widened and he doubled over with moan. "Just ... just give me another minute ... ,"

AUFord nodded.

"Yes, whatever _this_ was, it's over now," he sliced through the air with a palm. "You're _done_ ,"

Both Stan's looked from each other to AUFord. They each heaved in a deep sigh then flopped to the ground. 

"That was a nice try on your end,"

"Another few minutes and I would have had you,"

"I had you on the ropes, what are you talking about?"

"Don't lie to yourself. I was just waiting to tire you out,"

"I was just biding my time. I was this close to coming out full swinging,"

"So was I! I - I'm not even that tired,"

"Well - neither am I!"

They each clambered to their feet, and just as AUFord was about to step up and push them back down, their legs gave out and they heaved back to the ground. They moaned.

"Ugggggg. Rest now - fight later,"

"Everything hurts,"

AUFord rolled his eyes. Ford looked decidedly relieved. AUFord remembered what he was doing there in in the first place. 

"Hey," 

Ford looked over to him.

"We need to talk," AUFord glanced over to the two Stans. "Alone,"

Ford looked at him, his gaze giving way to hesitancy. He looked over to the two Stans and then at the ground. 

"Hey Au,"

AUFord looked over to AUStan staring at him. 

"What?"

"Remember - you tied,"

AUFord frowned. He turned to Ford and gave him a pointed look. 

"I'll be waiting right outside," he turned, sparing the Stans one last look before heading back into the nighttime air. He heard his counterpart right on his heels. He watched Ford follow him and together they took a few steps away from the cave. 

AUFord opened his mouth to begin, but Ford beat him to it.

"Y-you th-think Stan is ... isn't Stan," he crossed his arms and stared at AUFord - nervous, but determined.

"Okay, just hear me out. These thoughts are all jumbled in my head too. Just help me work through them - and for heaven's sake be _open minded_ ,"

Ford pursed his lips. He gestured for AUFord to continue.

"First things first. The issue of whether or not Stan is ... isn't Stan. We have to consider that has a real possibility because if we get blind sighted _again_ ," AUFord put a hand to his face. 

Ford looked somber, but he didn't say anything. AUFord took in a breath and continued. 

"So the evidence pointy towards that is flimsy. Paranoia mostly. I ...  I can admit this," AUFord frowned and looked away. "I - I'm sorry about that too. I'm just ... perhaps my subconscious mind hasn't been able to separate Stanley and him yet because at this point in my specific development my original versions hold a certain similar shape of betrayal and certain levels of turmoil,"

Ford nodded.

"P-perhaps,"

AUFord glanced at his counterpart. This conversation wasn't pleasant for either of them, but it seemed communication would be seamless. 

"Or I could be in a much more aware state of mind because I'm not as attached to Stanley and can be more objective on the matter. And also if we're being honest ... ," he didn't want to state it. Ford already seemed wary, but they had to consider all angles. "You aren't exactly in the most objective of view points when it comes to ... reality,"

If he'd expected his counterpart to stiffen or frown he'd have been disappointed. Instead his other self only nodded - albeit slower.

"P-perhaps ... ,"

AUFord let out a sigh. 

"I suppose what we should be thinking of are what _actions_ we should take. But - what would we even do?" 

"What?"

"We - we're completely lost. I've been looking into this for ages now and I still haven't found anything," AUFord put a hand over his mouth in horror. "We unguarded, unprepared. If he showed up - we'd be through,"

Ford shivered. He tried to push the memories from his mind and focused on AUFord. 

"I-I-It i-isn't - h-he i-isn't - ,"

"Is he stronger in other dimensions? Does he have access to other planets like this? Is he only confined to the parameters of the mindscape? What would keep him from coming here right now? Why haven't I seen him since landing in the portal? Heard of him. Anything!"

Ford could feel the eyes surrounding him. This wasn't a good time, but his fear was creeping through his chest. Thoughts he'd been suppressing almost since he'd fallen into the portal came to the forefront of his mind and he couldn't help as they mixed with his present nightmare. 

AUFord watched his counterparts eyes turn shifty and noticed his increased rate of breath. But he was too occupied with his own racing heart and his own memories clamoring for his attention. Bill's voice echoed in his head.

_You're a real genius Stanford. Your that brilliant mind that's gonna turn this whole planet topsy turvy. With my help - you're gonna change this whole wide world._

"We wouldn't survive. Worst case scenario is worst for a reason. We wouldn't make it,"

Ford tried to push through his mental haze. 

"W-why - w-w-why h-h-hide - w-w-wh - ," he words failed him. He couldn't go on. His heart raced, the fear came back, and suddenly it felt like the eyes had all turned yellow, and their slits had all stretched thin and grown black. He was completely ungrounded, and leaned against a tree to keep himself up.

AUFord looked at his counterpart and then looked at his hands. To see the sight of them. They were a mess. They were falling to pieces over simple words and ideas being exchanged. AUFord swallowed. He stepped up and put a shaky hand on Ford's trembling back.

"Hey. Don't fall apart on me. Not over this - ,"

Ford grabbed his wrist and crushed it beneath his fingers. AUFord winced and looked at his counterpart whose expression looked angry and lost. Words unsaid lingered on his other self's lips and AUFord could see the turmoil behind his eyes. Ford looked at his grip and let go, blinking back a moment of guilt. He struggled to find his voice and AUFord waited in the tense silence of their paranoia. 

"H-h-he - ," so many letters, phrases, and ways to say the idea in his mind. So much he couldn't voice because of the constriction on his throat and the hesitancy of his tongue. He finally landed on a single sentence to settle the matter. "H-h-he _o-owns_ u-us," Ford looked up at AUFord, bitter hate and hopeless fear playing across his face.

AUFord stared, but the words were understood. He clenched his teeth as he remembered just how true that was. His mind tried to trail back down through his memories, and once again Bill's voice entered his head. 

_Ho ho. Looks like Mr. Brainiac finally got smart._

He stopped it there. He always stopped it around there. Never let himself dare try and remember the many nights that came afterwards. Some days - when he was being honest with himself - he admitted that falling through the portal had been a relief. 

He'd trusted Bill so completely. He'd given him everything. His time. His energy. His body. And even after he'd broken through the sting of Bill's betrayal, some things just stuck. Tiny habits built up since he'd known Bill. As prevalent as the memories that wouldn't go away. He could even say he was still obsessed with that yellow triangle. Sure he hated him, but an obsession never had to be fond. He couldn't get him out of his mind. 

An encounter with Bill would do nothing for his pride, or morale, or even the well being of his psyche. The moment he read that inscription on that wall, his was destined to be forever torn apart by Bill's eternal influence. His other self was right. After everything that happened in Gravity Falls - Bill had him hook line and sinker. In ever possible way. He knew every corner of his mind. Every atom in his body. Every little thing that made him tick. And he had the power to control it all. To control the way he moved and the way he thought. To control what his next action would be. What his next goal would aim for. 

It was as accurate a phrase as either of the Fords would get. Bill owned them. 

For a moment that seemed to be the end of their conversation. He couldn't even remember what they were arguing. Discussing? He didn't know. Ford slunk down against the tree and sat on the ground. The eyes were still there, and the fear was growing stronger. He put his head in his hands and tried to ride it out. AUFord looked down at him then back up against a tree of his own and sank to the floor. They sat there, letting their mind's horrors permeate their reality. 

Back in the cave Stan let out a sigh and relaxed from straining his ears. 

AUStan looked over at him.

"What? What have they been saying? Is it about us?"

Stan glanced toward AUStan's voice wearily. 

"Oddly enough ... kind of not,"

"So what are they talking about?"

Stan's finger twitched. He clenched his hands into fists as he went over what he'd been hearing. 

"They're talking about a dead man,"

"What? Who died?"

"They're _going_ to be dead when I get done with 'em,"

"What?"

Stan grit his teeth.

"They're scared. Someone's got them scared. Some one who wouldn't last a minute alone with me," 

AUStan snorted.

"That's a little far-fetched,"

Stan growled.

"Shut up. Don't think I've forgotten your little _joke_ earlier,"

"I thought we just fought that out,"

It was Stan's turn to snort.

"That? Come on,"

AUStan rolled his eyes.

"Well obviously it didn't work. Au still doesn't like me or you, and they're both out there conspiring against us,"

"They aren't conspiring. They're talking. They're ... they're freaking out - ,"

"You'd only make things worse,"

"Don't you think I don't know that? " Stan put a tired hand over his face. "They're both talking about something that happened before the portal. The portal is where things started to deviate from the original universe. So it stands to reason, you cheeky jerk - ,"

"Guilty as charged,"

"That they're talking about someone that your Ford knows too," Stan lowered his hand and tried to look at AUStan. "You can't ignore this. It happened to your Ford too. Whatever has them worried right now - its got your Ford on edge _too_ ,"

AUStan was silent. He looked at the ceiling and rubbed his nose.

"I - I don't want to think about him. Don't bring him up,"

Stan let out a bitter laugh.

"That's cute. You're adorable. Really you are,"

"Oh, shut up. What are they even worried about? Whatever they're afraid is back on earth. They're both here now. Far away from whatever or whoever has got them so worked up. What's the problem?"

"I don't know. He won't tell me,"

"Now that's rich. Aren't you two the ones who are fixed up now? No ten year grudge still hanging over you - oh and a little incident with a portal to boot,"

"Yeah well - I thought so too," Stan shook his head. "But he won't tell me. He won't say what, or who, or even why - ," Stan stopped.

"What?"

"They're talking again. Shh,"

"Well what are they _saying_ \- ,"

" _Shh_ ,"

AUStan stayed silent.

Back outside the cave AUFord was looking at his counterpart. 

"It seems that the worst case scenario has no obvious answer. So ... what if this isn't that. If he isn't here, and we don't have to worry about it - then what?"

Ford stared at the ground between his arms. He tried to calm himself down. Bill wasn't there. Stan wasn't possessed by him, or anything else that AUFord had tried to insinuate. He knew that. He never doubted it, but the very thought was sending him into hysterics. He tried to focus. He tried to think. 

He couldn't move. 

"He keeps making me jump. I turn around and there he is, but he isn't my Stanley, and he feels like - like _him_. They're so similar. Maybe that's why it was so easy to believe him. To think we were friends. He felt so much like Stan and I ... ," AUFord trailed off. 

He glanced over to AUFord. The eyes were surrounding them, but he focused on his counterpart. AUFord was looking into space, his face a mixture of lost confusion and discomfort. With a sigh, Ford realized his other self didn't want to admit the underlying truth behind why it was so easy to fall for Bills trickery. 

Bill reminded them of Stan. The intimacy that Bill had provided matched the close bond of the twins life long relationship - but darker. It came about so quickly, Ford would have called it forced if he hadn't been so willing to accept. Because he'd missed Stan. Ford squeezed his eyes shut remembering the long nights alone and the quiet cold of his lonely house in the woods. He should have got back in touch with his brother. He should have looked for him sooner. Then maybe none of this would have happened. Stan wouldn't have had to spend so long on the streets alone, and Ford wouldn't have made a deal with that devil demon. They wouldn't have had to end up in the portal. 

But at least they were together. 

Ford shook his head. He couldn't do this anymore. AUFord had led him out here for a pointless conversation, and at this point Ford realized it was probably more to have Ford ease AUFord's mind more than anything. But he couldn't do that. Not when he was breaking beneath the strain. He got to his feet. Stan was so close and he needed his brother. He couldn't sit out here and let himself fall apart. 

"Your going back in aren't you?"

Ford looked at AUFord. He frowned. The eyes were doing something strange in the night time darkness. They seemed brighter than usual. He fought against the lump in his throat. He had one thing to say to his counterpart. A thought to end this obscene spiral that AUFord had started. 

"T-trust S-S-Stan,"

AUFord snorted and looked away. 

"Look where that got us,"

Ford frowned and turned to leave. AUFord looked after him. 

"Wait, you can't just go,"

Ford stopped. AUFord stared at him, his face twisting into anxious creases of worry.

"We have to plan for every outcome. If we aren't prepared he can catch us off guard. We can't let ourselves fall into a false sense of security,"

"I-I-It i-isn't a-a - ,"

"And what about all the other possibilities? We barely discussed that other Stan. The one that isn't yours or mine. What about the fact that multiple versions of us might be putting a strain on existence? We could be calling attention to ourselves by all being together," AUFord looked down at his hands and started to breath in deeper. "What if the reason we're here on this planet is because it's connected to some sort of portal energy that sensed our presence? What if it's sentient? What if you two aren't even real? What if I'm not real? What if my Stan opens the portal back up right now? Would things bleed through, or would it be okay if we're here? Would that invite him back to earth? Is he still there? Stanford there's so many things we don't know!" AUFord pulled at his hair. "Maybe we aren't supposed to be hopping dimensions. What if we're slowly breaking the barrier between worlds and making it easier for him to get to earth? Is time on earth the same as time in between dimensions? What if a thousand years out here is a single one on earth? Or what if it's the other way around? Would it even matter? Does it even matter? Does any of it? What if we're simply postponing the inevitable and one day soon he'll get what he wants and it will have been for nothing. All of it. Hiding the journals. Calling Stan to Gravity Falls. Getting thrown in the portal. All of it useless because one day he'll be back, I know he's coming back, but I don't know how to stop him. I don't know anything and it's so frustrating and it scares me, and what on earth does it all even mean!" AUFord's eyes were wide as he looked at the ground, his breath coming in sharp wheezing gulps as he battled the flighty beat of his racing heart. 

Ford stared at him. He was breaking. They were both breaking. More memories came against his will, but he fought them back. AUFord was a fool if he ever thought his other self could help him get a hold on things. How was Ford supposed to help him when he could barely help himself? He took shaky step back, his gaze traveling to the entrance of the cave. He needed Stanley. They both did. What was he doing? They couldn't fight this. They never could.

Ford stumbled into the cave. He didn't have to say a word. Stan was already rising onto his tired legs - one step ahead and quickly closing the distance between the two. 

"Whoa, hey there poindexter. Calm down," Stan put his hands on Ford shoulders and squeezed. It was noticeably weaker than usual, but the effect was the same. "It's okay. Everything is okay. Its all gonna work out - you'll see," 

Ford looked over his shoulder towards the exit of the cave. 

"A-A-Au,"

But AUStan had already risen to his feet. 

"Yeah, I got this,"

Stan frowned.

"I don't think that's a good idea. You aren't good with - 'soft',"

AUStan chuckled. 

"Watch me,"

Stan's frown only grew deeper, but he let AUStan pass by as his grip tightened on Ford. He pulled his brother closer to himself in a subconscious effort to keep him safe from his counterpart and anything else Ford was worried about. AUStan left the cave and Stan made a point to keep an ear out for when that blew up in flames. But for the moment his main concern was his brother in front of him. 

"What do you need Ford?"

Ford gulped. His steeled nerves melted under Stans reassuring grasp and Ford allowed his body to tremble violently. Stan rubbed a hand up and down his arm.

"Hey, it's okay. It's going to be alright. I'm right here. I'm real. We're real. We're okay. You're going to be okay. Everything's going to be alright," Stan wrapped Ford in strong embrace. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you,"

Ford drowned himself in Stanley's presence. His heart eased its rapid beating as it synced to Stan's steady breath. The eyes broke and faded under Stan's soothing words. His brother ripped through Ford's foggy haze and created an island of security in the sea of demons invading Ford's mind. He clung to his brother. Stan was his life line and he let the world drop away as he focused on staying alive with his brother by his side.

***

AUStan put a strong hand on AUFord's shoulder. AUFord jumped under the touch, but AUStan held him in place. AUFord looked up into the calm, rather uncaring gaze of the one armed Stanley. AUFord frowned.

"Wh-what do you want?"

AUStan raised a brow.

"Au. You're wiggin' out,"

AUFord tore himself from AUStan's grip. 

"Yeah, well - ," AUFord gulped. "What does that have to do with you? Just - go away,"

AUStan rolled his eyes. He snatched AUFord's arm and wrenched him to his feet.

"What? Hey - !"

AUStan pushed his hand against his chest and pinned him to the tree. AUFord trembled under the indifferent attitude. He tried to push away the man's arm and only succeeding in AUStan tightening his hold.

"Au. Au look at me,"

AUFord's brows creased in frustration, but he stopped fighting long enough to look at AUStan's face. AUFord's breath caught in his throat as he took in shallow gasps. AUStan held his gaze for a long moment, letting the stillness work its way between them. 

"Breathe Au. You need to _breathe_ ,"

AUFord stared at AUStan as the one armed man nodded his head expectantly. 

"Breathe. In - ," he waited for AUFord the follow his instructions. 

Despite his misgivings AUFord breathed in.

"Good. And out again. In and out. Come on, don't get defiant on me or anything,"

AUFord frowned, but he breathed out. And then back in. And then out again. He could feel the steady intake of oxygen calming his overtaxed heart. 

"In. And out. In. And out again," AUStan's hand rose and fell against AUFord's shaking chest. He noted with satisfaction that it grew stronger with each exhale. "Good. That's good, your doing great,"

"Don't - ," AUFord breathed in then out. "Don't patronized me,"

"Wouldn't dream of it. A few more. In. And out,"

AUFord inhaled, then blew out. They stood quiet as AUFord grew calm and focused on his breathing. Another few seconds passed and AUStan took his hand off AUFord's chest. AUFord stepped from the tree and took a moment to continue breathing in a consistent rhythm.

"Feel better?"

AUFord paused, then gave a reluctant nod.

"Yes," he bit the inside of his cheek. " ... Thank you,"

AUStan waved him off.

"Any time nerd," he put his hand into his pocket. "You going to tell me what's had you freaking out?"

AUFord frowned. For a moment he thought he might. And then the memories came back full force and he had to grit his teeth between each labored breaths as he focused on taking in air 'In and Out'. He shook his head.

"No. Absolutely not. It's my business, so stay out of it,"

AUStan frowned in annoyance. 

"You're going to be like that then?"

AUFord huffed and straightened.

"I don't know what you're talking about," 

AUStan rolled his eyes.

"Fine. You do whatever," he turned and walked a few feet away from AUFord and the cave. "See what I care," He sat down in the grass. 

AUFord looked at him feeling a little guilty. Then he shook himself. He had every right to his thoughts. AUStan was just nosy. The fresh outside air felt better than the prospect of the cave and he reasoned to stay outside a little while longer. He glanced at AUStan as a lack of surety rose inside him. He bit his lip and fiddled with his extra finger. Another moment of indecision and then he stepped over to AUStan and sat next to him. AUStan glanced at him.

"'Go away' Ford. 'Leave me alone'. I can't be near you. You being alive is annoying. I want you gone because I'm an anti-social nerd with no respect for other people's feelings,"

AUFord rolled his eyes.

"Hardy-har-har,"

"Yeah well," AUStan put his hand to the ground and leaned back. He was quiet.

AUFord itched in the silence. It sat heavy with AUStan's unusual hush. He fidgeted. Then the thought came to his mind and he couldn't keep from letting out a chuckle. AUStan turned to him with a raised brow and AUFord smiled, nervous.

"Sorry, it's just - this is the first time I think you've gone more than five seconds without interjecting some senseless comment or another,"

AUStan nodded.

"Mm,"

AUFord shrugged his shoulders.

"This whole multiple dimensions thing has been very interesting to say the least. I thought I wasn't ever going to see your face again, and now here I am. Stuck with not one, but _two_ of you. The sheer probability of that being possible in the first is extremely unlikely.  You have to admit that this entire situation is completely unorthodox,"

"Mm,"

"And it isn't like I did anything to provoke such an occurrence. It was all chance, and that in it's own is cause for suspicion. To think. If we simply landed on the other side of this planet. Or even far away enough for us to never encounter the other. If the inter-dimensional tear that led us here had brought us anywhere else. It's quiet the coincidence,"

"Au,"

"It's fascinating to observe how the differences in dimensions are affected though. I was talking with my other self back on the ship and we came to the conclusion that small things have affected the way our time streams turned out - ,"

"Au,"

"Yes?"

"Shut up,"

AUFord blinked.

"I - I beg your pardon?"

"Stop yammering on about nothing. It's a beautiful night. Enjoy it,"

AUFord looked down at the ground in confusion. AUStan sighed.

"And for the record - I'm not him. I'm my own person," AUStan took a moment to scratch his chin. He added as after thought, "And I'll prove it too if I have to. But I'm not that other Stan and he isn't me," he put his hand back down. "So just - ," AUStan let his arm slide out from under him as he laid his back on the ground and looked up at the stars. "Enjoy the night,"

AUFord swallowed. He didn't know what to say. 

So he didn't say anything. Another minute later he laid down next to AUStan. A bright light shot into view. AUFord thought it might be a shooting star, till he realized it was probably something that entered through another multi-dimensional tear and was burning up in the atmosphere. He wanted to get up and go chase after it - as a defensive precaution or an offensive one he wasn't sure. But AUStan seemed unconcerned, so he sat still as the light winked out of existence. 

The silence wasn't exactly comfortable, but AUFord let it drag on as the two of them admired the night sky.

***

They were sitting together against the wall. Stan was twisting his fingers through his brother's hair. Ford had calm a long while ago, but their alternate selves still hadn't come back. Stan had listened to their conversation, so he knew it had gone surprisingly well. He hadn't expected that from his counterpart, but he supposed AUFord needed something a little different than his Ford did. That or Stan was just a screw-up when it came to Fords. 

He was waiting for Ford to fall asleep. He couldn't hear the shallow breathing of his sleeping brother, and his chest still rose and fell in the uneven rhythm of wakefulness. He kept running his fingers through Ford's hair, hoping to lull him to sleep. Obviously it wasn't working. 

Stan closed his eyes. It was so dark that it didn't matter, but out of habit he shut them and went over the thoughts in his mind. 

AUFord had said a lot of things and Ford had mostly agreed. It was all very telling he was sure, but for the life of him he couldn't figure out how. The only thing he really understood was when Ford had encouraged AUFord to trust him. That had sent a shiver down his spine as his body grew warm. Then AUFord's response had ruined it and he'd turned ice cold. 

 _Look where that got us,_  

It was then that he'd thought of what a huge responsibility Ford's trust was. The weight of it still sat in his stomach like a rock. He was determined to do his best, but would it be enough? He'd fight anything that threatened his brother, but what about the things he couldn't punch?

Who was Ford so afraid of? Was it even a person? Or was it just some idea, or maybe the action behind the idea? There were a lot of things that went bump in the night. Stan knew that back on earth, but landing in the portal only made that understanding worsen. Ford had been dealing with weird stuff for years before Stan showed up. What had his brother gotten himself into? And why, on the whole wide, beautiful, faraway, never gonna get back there, planet _earth_ , would Ford not tell him about it?

"I wish you'd tell me what's wrong Ford," 

He'd whispered the words. He hadn't meant to say them out loud. But his train of thought had flown involuntarily from his mouth.

Ford shifted under his arms, his discomfort at the idea obvious. Stan squeezed his lids together, the frustration mixing with guilt. 

"Never mind. Forget I said anything,"

"S-Stanley ... ,"

"You'll get to it. Okay poindexter? I'm holding you to it. Just right now, - go to sleep," Stan was exhausted, but he wasn't the one who hadn't been resting well the past few nights. "I'm right here. Get some shut eye. Your gazelle body needs a break,"

"I t-told you t-to cut that o-out," 

Stan chuckled. 

"Yeah alright poindexter. You get some sleep and we've got a deal,"

Ford's muscles stiffened under his grip and Stan frowned. He'd done it again. He'd said something wrong. He wrapped his arms closer around his brother in an effort to ease his shot nerves. Ford sighed and relaxed. Stan took that as a good sign. 

A while later and Ford was asleep. 

Sometime after that their alternate selves came into the cave. The understanding of quiet was acknowledged and the two of them laid down. 

The four still bodies spent the rest of the night in silence.

***

He heard the faintest rustling of clothes. It was more than just tossing in his sleep, so Stan opened his eyes. In the faint morning light that filtered through the cave, Stan could barely make up the waking figure. A little more moving around and Stan identified the person as having only one arm.

"You're awake,"

AUStan stopped in his tracks at Stan's quiet whisper. He turned to his counterpart with a sly smile.

"Never fell asleep in the first place. I - ," AUStan stopped and tilted his head in amusement. "You ... you didn't either, did you?"

"Course not. I'm a hypocrite remember?"

AUStan looked to the ceiling of the cave and shook his head smiling. He looked back down at Stan.

"So what are you gonna do now?"

Stan looked down at Ford's sleeping figure besides him.

"Well that depends. What are _you_ doing right now?"

"Leaving,"

Stan paused. AUStan waited for a reaction, but another moment passed and he realized wasn't going to get one. AUStan shrugged.

"I'm coming back I guess,"

"I'm coming with you,"

"What?"

"You'll just steal all the fun. Whatever you've got planned - I'm in on it,"

AUStan chuckled as silently as he could.

"Oh, yeah? Well you can't bring him,"

Stan didn't have to see AUStan's blurry finger pointing to know he was talking about Ford.

"I can do whatever I like,"

"So can I. And I'm not doing it with him,"

"Well why not?"

"Because three 's a crowd," AUStan shrugged. "Still wanna come?"

Stan's face hardened.

"Yeah. I do," he smiled. "You can't get rid of me that easy,"

"Worth a shot," AUStan took a look around the cave. He did a mental check of what was where and if he should take anything with him for what he was planning to do. He looked over to a box hiding in the corner and debated on taking it out ... nah. He'd just wing it.

Stan struggled to twist away from Ford without waking him up. He managed to push his brother off of himself and lean him against the wall on his own.

"There. Now just - ," Stan looked around at the blurry boxes and other things scattered around the cave. He glanced over to AUStan. "You got any paper? A pen? Pencil? Alien writing utensil?"

AUStan looked around himself. He patted his jacket up and down, then brightened as his hand landed over his chest. He reached into his jacket and brought out a wrinkled mess of paper with strange scribbles on the back. Then he pulled out a rather ordinary pen and handed it to Stan.

"Yeah, here. Paper 's all weird from the falls. Should work well enough though. What are you gonna do with it?"

Stan took the paper and pen from his counterpart and straightened it against the inside of his hand. He scribbled a quick few words as best he could, then stopped.

"When are we getting back do you think?"

AUStan looked at him strange.

"Are you leaving him a _note_? Whatever happened to the suspense? You have to make him sweat. Let him worry a little,"

"Yeah, no. How long do you think we'll be out?"

AUStan rolled his eyes.

"Honestly we should probably be back by the time they wake up. That was the plan at least. If not it's because we're dead - or they're lighter sleepers than I remember,"

Stan nodded.

"Right. 'Don't - wa-it ... up'. There," Stan finished his note and stared at it. Then he added an after thought. He scrunched his eyes at the paper and tapped the pen against his chin . He added one more thing. He nodded as if satisfied. Leaning down, he placed it in Fords hand where his brother would be sure to find it ... probably.

"Okay, lets go,"

"After you, chica,"

Stan rolled his eyes and walked out.

***

Ford was dreaming. He felt cold and alone. Nightmares seeped into his subconscious as his mind tortured him with endless images of past memories and news ones that never existed. He struggled to make them go away, but he was stuck deep inside the depths of its creative darkness. He gasped for breath, all feeling of light and hope draining out of him as the scenes in his dreams grew worse and worse before -

His eyes flew open and he put a hand over his chest, struggling to breath. He reached out besides him, but only found cold ground. A shiver ran up his spine and he sat up. Taking a look around the cave he was surprised to find himself alone.

No that wasn't true. He looked over and was met with an intense stare.

"You were dreaming?"

AUFord's eyes were wide and owlish. Heat rushed to Ford's face as he wondered if he ever looked that intense sometimes.

"Y-y-yeah," he gulped. Looking around, he searched for Stan.

"They're both gone,"

Ford looked at AUFord in confusion. Then understanding flooded him and he stood up in a panic.

"W-w-w-h- ,"

"I don't know. They must have left sometime before I woke up. I don't know where they went. Or why," AUFord shrugged.

Ford looked at his counterpart. He wondered how long he'd just been sitting there. The aftermath of his own nightmares sending him staring into space -

All thoughts of AUFord left his mind as he realized something was crushed in his hand. He straightened out a small piece of paper. One side was covered in illegible code. Possibly from another language. The other side read:

_Ford,_

_Left with AUStan. Don't wait up._

_PS Help_

_PPS Probably_

Ford's hands started to shake as he ran a rough hand through his hair with a groan.

_Stanley, what are you thinking?_


	4. Chapter 4

"Yeah, there's a dip there," 

Stan got to his knees and shook himself off. 

"No, duh. Thanks for the warning,"

AUStan kept moving forward.

"Any time,"

Stan sighed then followed after him. He skirted the trees, managed to watch out for any over sized rocks - and tripped over a root. 

"Hey, watch out. Don't trip on that thing in front of you," 

Stan growled and pushed himself off the ground. 

" _Thanks_. That's _real_ kind of you," He stood back up and started walking again.

He avoided the trees, and the branches, and the roots, the pot-holes, and the over sized rocks - 

He fell to the ground. Not even sure what had tripped him up this time. 

"Watch out for that camouflaged creature right there,"

Stan's eyes widened as something under him moved. It bared it's teeth and swiped at his legs. 

"Oh, and it'll get ya,"

Stan scrambled off the ground and backed away before turning - 

To run straight into a tree. 

"And there's a tree right in front of you. You might want to avoid that too,"

Stan growled.

"I hate you,"

***

"I knew this was a bad idea,"

AUStan rolled his eyes.

"Don't tell me you're still afraid of heights,"

"Alright then. Let's see you do it if your so phobically superior,"

AUStan waved him off. 

"Of course I can. Easy peasy. Walk in the park,"

"Why do we even have to do this?"

"Because I know it will make you extremely uncomfortable. Then I can shove you out of it. Thus landing you to your death. Thus killing you with your worst nightmare,"

"Well if that's all," Stan rolled his eyes. "Lets just get this over with,"

"I knew you wouldn't resist the inevitable downfall of your demise. After you,"

"Right,"

Stan stared at the tree for a long moment. 

"You gonna go, or we gonna sit here all day?"

Stan waved him off. 

"Yeah, yeah. Just give me a moment," his hands clenched and unclenched by his sides as he looked up. Finally after a deep sigh, he moved forward and started to climb. 

AUStan watch him go, and stared at the tree's bark with a dubious gaze. 

"What are _you_ looking at?"

"Huh?"

"Wasn't talking to you,"

"I'm the only one out here,"

"Just climb the tree,"

"Are you coming too? I refuse to not murder you horribly in your sleep if you don't end up here with me,"

"See, it's those kinds of things that kept me up last night. Honestly Stanley Pines. Getting me worried for my life," He took hold of a branch and tried to pull himself up ... 

And failed. He grit his teeth in frustration. Above him Stan was preocupied with climbing higher and not looking down. 

_Come on Stanley. You can do this._

He looked up to the height his counterpart had already reached and blanched. 

_You can't do this. You can't do this. You can't -_

"A-Are you c-coming?" Stan's voice wavered as he paused in the tree, eyes closed, listening for AUStan, but not wanting to even _try_ and look down.

AUStan rubbed his nose. 

"I'm right behind you! Keep going!" 

He heard Stan grunt in reply and saw him moving up the tree. 

AUStan clenched his fist and breathed in. 

_I can do this. I can and will do this. I can and will do this with minimal loss of face, and with only a limited amount of energy exerted. I'm doing this. Here. I. Go -_

AUStan grabbed hold of the nearest branch and jumped, pulling himself up. His breath shuddered with shallow intakes of air. He creaked up, onto the first branch, and let his shoulder flop over the other side as his legs worked to stand under him. Another burst of strength and he stood up, now almost five feet off the ground.

_Don't_ _look down._ _Don't_ _look down._ _Don't_ _look -_

He looked down.

The ground seemed to stretch out beneath him and he wobbled. His arm swung out and barely caught a branch above him before he slipped and hung in the air. Grunting he pulled himself back up. 

"You okay down there?"

"Like you care,"

"I might,"

"You don't," AUStan took another branch and started to pull himself up. It was easier now that he'd scaled the bare part of the trunk.

They both climbed higher into the tree. AUStan caught up with his counterpart, and another dozen or feet later he told him they could stop. 

Stan let out a sigh of relief, only to look down at the blurry image of the ground below and to cling to the trunk with a white knuckled fist.

"S-so," Stan gulped. "You - you gonna tell me what the big deal is? Or are we sittin' pretty the rest of the day?"

"I - ," AUStan squeezed his eyes closed and took in steadying breaths. "Yeah, I will. I just - need a moment,"

Stan nodded. 

"Right, I guess - me too," 

They both sat silent with only the sound of their heavy breathing echoing between them. Stan looked over to his counterpart. 

"This isn't rational,"

"What?"

"This - fear thing. It's super inconvenient. I don't see why we can't just climb a ladder like everyone else,"

"Don't ask me. Stanford does all that genetic, nature vs natural - ,"

"I think it was nurture,"

"Whatever. Ask him. He could come up with a million reasons for this whole phobia thing," AUStan smirked, his body loosening just a little. "That nerdy poindexter could convince us we were all twelve feet tall purple elephants if he used all that science mumbo jumbo to explain it,"

Stan snorted. 

"He keeps spewing all that nonsense. As if anyone can actually understand him,"

AUStan laughed. 

"Like that one time he tried to talk to that librarian about - what was it?"

"Oh, I remember that. 'Dark matter' or something. And afterwards the guy just stared at him like - 'I don't know 'bout that or anything. This is just my day job',"

"Hah! Ford's face got so red,"

"Hehe. Yeah," Stan stared at his hands, a wistful smile on his face. 

"Do you think he'll do anything with himself?"

Stan blinked. 

"What do you mean?"

"My Stanford," AUStan shrugged and looked into the trees. "Sometimes - I just wonder what he's up to,"

"I thought you didn't like to think about him,"

AUStan's peaceful demeanor fell. 

"I - _I don't_. Forget I said anything,"

"Whoa hey. I didn't mean anything by it,"

"Never mind. It doesn't matter," AUStan's shoulders hunched and he turned away from his other self. 

Stan sighed. He shifted in the tree and and leaned against the trunk to rest a moment. The sky was less obscured and Stan watched some clouds pass by. 

"He's probably making coffee,"

AUStan's ears perked.

"What?"

"Stanford. Your Stanford. He's probably making coffee. And pulling all-nighters. And not taking care of himself properly,"

"He's such an egghead . Always working on the next project or whatever,"

"I don't know how he survived so long without me,"

"Mm," 

"What do _you_ think he's doing?"

"Heck if I know,"

"Suduku maybe?"

"I think it's Sodoko,"

"Sudoku,"

"Yeah. Yeah that's the one,"

"Back on earth, Stanford is sitting on some couch. Solving a freakin' _puzzle_ ,"

AUStan smirked.

"Sounds about right,"

"He's got a giant cup of coffee on a table stand, and the thing in his lap. His face is scrunched up in rediculous looking frustration while he tries to find the next number in one of those stupid little boxes,"

"Yeah. Such ... such a nerd," AUStan gave a half hearted laugh. 

Stan shifted in the tree again. He took a moment to look back down. The ground stretched out beneath him and jerked his eyes back up. For the life of him, he never could understand the urge to stare down.

"Do you ... do you think he's trying to bring me back?"

Stan glanced at his counterpart. AUStan was frowning. 

"It's been ages. You'd think it wouldn't take this long, but hey - maybe something went wrong. I just ... ,"AUStan leaned against the trunk and looked at the sky. "Sometimes I wonder if he even _wants_ me back. If he's even trying. Or if he just - said forget it. Who needs him anyway? Good riddance. You know?"

Stan frowned. 

"No, Stanford wouldn't - ,"

"Sure he would. Seriously. Just think about it. Wouldn't that be something he might do? Before you two worked things out. Before you spent all this time together in the portal. Before you'd fixed things after _ten years_ ... ," AUStan trailed off.

Stan thought about it. He pictured Ford. Pictured the night he'd gone to Gravity Falls. The anger on Ford's face during their fight. 

"I think ... you're right. That _would_ be something Stanford might have done,"

"Yeah - ,"

"But I also think ... I think that he'd pull through in the end. He'd figure it out. Realize he needed to come for you. He's coming. I think that he's trying right now, and he's gonna bring you back,"

AUStan looked over to him. He tapped his finger on his leg.

"You really believe that, don't you?"

Stan smiled.

"Course I do. Don't worry. You won't be stuck here forever,"

AUStan smiled.

"Thanks for that," he rubbed his nose. "But also ... ,"

"What?"

"Well I'm not exactly worried about being stuck here forever. Not anymore at least,"

"You aren't? Well that's ... good I guess,"

AUStan's smiled grew a tad.

"Okay, there's something I need to confess,"

"What?"

"We aren't here alone. On this planet I mean. That's what we're doing right now. We're waiting for people. So we can shoot at 'em,"

Stan blinked. 

"And you're just _now_ telling me this?"

"It hadn't come up yet,"

"Is there anything _else_ I should know?"

"Yeah, your face is ugly,"

"Yours is at least three times worse,"

"Says you. I bet you don't even know what it looks like,"

Stan scoffed.

"I'm not that blind. 'Cause yeesh, your ugly,"

"You don't know squat. This is the handsome twin you're talking about,"

"Then Ford must have a face only a mother could love, because you sure ain't no sight for sore eyes,"

"Tù cara mira un perro muerto,"

"Your insults are awful,"

"Well you know what? I _was_ going to tell you all about the huge space ship parked at the top of the mountain. But I guess you'd rather critique my Spanish, so nevermind,"

"Wait, what?"

"Do you wanna know, or are you gonna keep hurling verbal insults with me?"

Stan opened his mouth then stopped.

"Well actually ... - ,"

"Just shut it and listen,"

Stan smirked, but stayed silent. AUStan nodded. 

"So I came crashing through on one of those dimension tears, and I wandered around till I reached the top of this hill. I figured higher ground was good - just like you three I guess. I stumbled on this huge space craft up there. It's got a captain and a crew, and a whole bunch of people in the brig or stockade or whatever that's in the belly of the ship. I had a bad run in with them, but I managed to nick some supplies. Like the meat and stuff - ,"

"I thought you said - ,"

"Yeah well. I lie. Any ways. They came after me and I've been hiding in that cave. They pass right over it when they're searching the woods. I've been keeping track of when they come and go. Today one of their little 'patrols' should be coming through around here. I keep intercepting them and just overall messing with them. But it also diverts them away from the cave,"

"Alright. Sounds reasonable - no wait. Why are you even here? Why don't you just run off to another hill or something?"

"Two reasons," AUStan held up a finger. "First - they have something of mine. I want it back, and I'm rather irked that they took it in the first place. Those jerks have no class." AUStan held up another finger "Second ... because of the portal,"

Stan's eyes widened.

"What portal?"

AUStan smiled. 

"Exactly. They have a portal. It doesn't work, but they're trying to fix it. They have this guy working on it for them, but I don't think he gets half of what it's all about,"

"Where on earth did they get their hands on a portal?"

AUStan shrugged.

"I think it was already here when they got arrived. Honestly it's probably what's been causing all those weird rips to open up around the planet,"

"Whoa. This - this is fantastic. A _portal_. We can get off the planet. We can go _anywhere_ _._ We can - ," Stan froze. AUStan's words sunk in.

AUStan nodded.

"We can go _home_ ,"

Stan stared at AUStan. AUStan was smiling wide.

"We get Au and Sixer to fix up that portal - and we can get _home_. Back to _earth_ , Each of us to their own proper universe. All in one easy swoop and go. Happy endings for all,"

Stan put a hand over his mouth. He started taking in deep breaths. 

"This ... this is possibly the best news I've heard in my _life_. I - I think I'm going to be _sick_ ,"

AUStan's eyes widened, and then he laughed.

"Watch it there. Aim away if you have to," he put a hand to Stan's back to steady him. 

Stan closed his eyes. He waved AUStan off. 

"I - I think I'll be good. Just - ," he gagged. "Just need to ride it out,"

AUStan nodded.

"You have no idea what them showing up has been like. I think yesterday I was in the best mood I've been in for _years_ ,"

Stan nodded.

"This is _brilliant_. I can't wait to tell Ford!" he gagged again, and took in a shuddering breath.

"We just need to get our hands on that portal, and we're home free,"

Stan smiled. 

"Earth. _Home_. I - this is _amazing_ ," he gagged again, and this time had to swallow bile.

"Oh, yeesh. You're really gonna throw up aren't you?"

***

"We could always just - let him be,"

"No,"

"He did say 'probably',"

Ford gave AUFord a scathing look.

"Though - knowing Stanley you might be right to worry,"

Ford nodded.

"But is this really helping? We don't even know where he went,"

Ford pointed at the trail they were following. It was a mess of broken sticks and parted branches that well suited the blundering movements of the two Stans.

"That could be anything. We don't even know if it's fresh. What would a 'fresh trail' even look like?"

Ford shrugged.

"Gremloblin?"

AUFord shrugged too.

"Maybe,"

Ford paused. The trail seemed to take a sudden sharp turn left up the mountain hill. He got AUFord's attentention and gestured the direction to go. 

"What were those two thinking? What are they doing out here?"

"D-do you th-think he's - he's in t-trouble?"

AUFord shrugged.

"Well if he had time to leave you that note. Which was a complete paradox by the way,"

"S-stan's a p-paradox,"

"Yes he is. And the fact that there's two of them doesn't help. I keep confusing them both in my mind. But I think I'm doing better now. AUStan is more ... ,"

"I-impu-pudent?"

"Well I was going to say brazen, but that works too,"

"I - I don't l-like him,"

"Really?"

Ford shrugged. AUFord stared at the ground, taking a moment to think about it.

"That's so strange. Because you'd think you'd like him the most, but no?"

"No,"

"Any reason why not?"

Ford shrugged. The trail took about turn and Ford pointed his counterpart in the right direction.

"He's - he's n-not Stan,"

AUStan was an imposter. An even greater physical reminder of Stan's own limitations. The ones that _Ford_ put on him. And it didn't help that his indifferent attitude felt cold and domineering, and how wrong that felt on his brother's presence. He was a reminder of how close Ford could have come to losing his brother. Of the possibility that - had things gone differently - he could have gotten Stan stuck in the portal alone. That it was simple luck that had made events play out differently. 

AUFord nodded.

"You're right, I suppose he isn't ... I wonder if that's really a bad thing though,"

Ford frowned.

"I-I thought - Don't you - ?"

"Hate his guts? I think ... well right now I personally think any version of Stanley that I may come across in this multi-verse is some kind of ruse to trick me and most likely kill me. But I also think I might be falling for it and that ... that I didn't need to land in a portal of my own making to feel ... alone mostly," AUFord sighed. "I don't know. Stan 's a thorn in the side. There are more important things to do than worry about him," AUFord stopped. "Do you hear that?"

Ford strained his ears with a frown. AUFord looked around himself.

"It sounds like ... ," AUFord trailed off as he turned to face the source of the noise.

Ford still couldn't hear it. He was getting too used to Stan being his ears. 

"Here, this way," AUFord gestured for him to follow and the two of them made their way through the trees.

A series of shouts rose from in some sort of scuffle. The noise of a blaster went off and the Fords looked at each other before running forward. A group of men came into view and they froze when they saw what was happening.

The Stan's were locked in combat with at least five other opponets. They were badly out-numbered and quickly losing. Stan held one of them hooked around the neck and was punching their face repeatedly. Someone came up behind him, but AUStan swiveled from his own opponet and clocked them to the ground.

Another recovering enemy scrambled to their feet and brought his elbow to AUStan's face. The other Stanley fell back to the ground and Stan let his enemy drop with a thud as he swept out with a right hook. The man side stepped and used Stan's momentum to shove him down. Both Stan's stumbled to their feet, but were quickly restrained with an arm behind their back.

AUStan twisted out of it and punched his attacker before focusing on Stan's. AUStan clocked Stan's opponet in the jaw before Stan stepped forward and kicked out at the man coming up behind AUStan. But another of them had already come up behind him and knocked him over the head. AUStan punched him, only to recieve a swift jab to his side from behind that made him crumpled to his knees. Stan shook himself and got up before receiving a quick kick to the gut. He fell back with a groan as AUStan got the same treatment besides him.

A low growl rumbled in Ford's throat. He stepped out and threw a fist at his brother's nearest attacker. It wasn't the wisest move however. AUFord took out his blaster, and the other's - alerted to their presence - knocked it out of his hands and then threw a punch to his gut. AUStan clambered to his feet and swung out at the closest skull he could find. Ford walked over to Stan and gave him a hand to his feet before swinging at their attacker's face over his shoulder. Ford recieved a kicked to his side from behind and Stan took hold of his shoulders to keep him from falling down before lashing out at the offender.

AUFord looked around for his gun until he recieved a hard set of fists cracking down on his back. He crumpled and AUStan came up and kicked the attacker off their feet before swinging out to the man coming up behind him.

AUFord pushed up to his knees. A hand appeared in his face and he looked up to see AUStan offering his help. AUFord laid his six fingers in five and AUStan helped him to his feet. Some one came up behind AUStan and AUFord swept him aside as he kicked out, sending the attacker to the ground. AUStan gave him a wide smile and a nod before turning and lashing out at someone else. Ford and Stan were fighting their own pair of opponets and the sudden balancing of odds turned the tables. 

The four of them fought back against the other five. It was obvious how quick they were gaining the upper hand. It wasn't long before one of their attackers broke away - nose bleeding, feeting falling out from under him - and started racing back up the mountain. The other four took one look betwen themselves and the Pines before whipping around and following after their companion. AUStan leaned against a tree taking in deep breaths. But he had a smile on his face and enough energy to call out - 

"Thats right! Run away you yellow bellied cowards!"

AUFord groaned.

"Don't attagonize them,"

One of the men had enough guts to turn around and shoot back,

"Don't think this is finished you one armed RAT! When Captain hears about this - !"

But AUStan had already retrieved his fallen blaster and sent warning shots over the retreating men's heads. They ducked low and finished making their way out of sight. AUStan laughed.

"I'm probably going to regret that later,"

Stan snickered.

"Who cares?" He shook his head. "But holy sasperilla - did you _see_ us? We were amazing! High sixes all around!" He turned to Ford and his brother returned the gesture with his own hesitant hand. 

AUStan whipped to AUFord and held his hand high. AUFord rolled his eyes.

"You two are _insane_ ,"

"High _six_ Au,"

AUFord sighed, but slapped his six fingers against AUStan's five with a small smile. 

"Yes! High six Stanley," AUStan turned and caught Stan's out stretched hand with a rock solid high five. 

"I can't believe we aren't dead! Pines! Pines! Pines! Pines!"

Ford stepped over and held out his hand to give his counter part a high six. AUFord shook his head and chuckled, but smacked his hand against Ford's. 

"Glad to see you two fools are okay then,"

"Mm,"

"Ford it was crazy! We were in that tree there when we started shooting at them. But I fell out and they caught sight of us - No! Wait - wait! I have something to tell you! It's so freaking amazing - You're gonna love it!"

AUStan put a hand on Stan's shoulder.

"No, wait. Let's get back to the cave and tell them. We need to devise a plan. Those five are only the tip of the iceberg,"

AUFord looked between them.

"Tell us what? And what in the world were you two thinking - coming out here like that?"

Stan was smiling wide. AUStan caught sight of AUFord's blaster and kicked it over to him. 

"Here, let's get a move on. We'll tell you all about it on the way," he started walking and they all turned to go. 

AUFord picked up his gun and slipped it into his coat. 

"We got your note. What are you doing out here?"

AUStan turned to AUFord with a confused smile.

"If you got his note, then why'd you follow after us?"

Stan laughed.

"I may or may not have asked them to come,"

Ford took the slip of paper from his pocket and handed it to AUStan. AUStan looked it over and rolled his eyes. 

"Did you really think so little of me?"

Stan shrugged with a grin.

"Still do, you jerk,"

Ford looked between the two Stans. 

"Wh-what were you t-two doing?"

"Okay - alright. So here's how things went. I saw him awake and followed him out of the cave. You weren't supposed to see us gone, but I'm glad you found us. We really had our work cut out there didn't we?"

"Yeah, how'd you two find us?"

AUFord pointed at the ground. 

"You left a monster of a trail behind you - blundering through the forest the way you were. What was that all about?"

AUStan smiled and his eyes trailed over to Stan. Stan groaned.

"Awww, Au. You just - you don't - you don't just give him an excuse like that. I'm sore all over and it wasn't pleasant," Stan ran a hand through his hair. 

"An excuse? Excuse for what?"

"For being a jerk," He turned to AUStan. "You're getting firecrackers in your sleep tonight,"

AUStan had a doubtful grin.

"You've got firecrackers?"

Stan shrugged.

"I knicked at a lot of things from our ship we crashed in. Still got a few neat explosive tucked away for emergencies," he patted his coat fondly.

AUFord sighed.

"Who - who were those men you were fighting? They said something about a captain,"

Stan nodded with feeling.

"So they belong to this crew in a ship on the top of the mountain. We need to go up there later. We - ,"

AUStan scowled.

"They won't take kindly to it though. If you hadn't slipped and given away our position, I could've just chased them off like usual,"

"Yeah, and whose fault was that?"

"You were grabbing my shirt like a frieghtened child - !"

"I was not! You were shaking like a leaf. I was trying to calm _you_ down,"

AUStan rubbed his nose.

"I _wasn't_ scared - ,"

"Yeah well _I was_. I could have died! One wrong move and my kneck could've snapped. I could've landed on a stick wrong. A giant alien bird could have swooped me out of the sky - ,"

AUFord wrinkled his brow in confusion.

"What - ?"

"Lightning! I could have been hit by _lightning_!"

The Stans shuddered. Ford gave Stan's arm a conforting squeeze while his counterpart rubbed a hand over his face.

"Your fear of heights is utterly inane. You realize this?"

AUStan shook his head with a chuckle.

"Oh Au. Poor, silly Au. You have much to learn," 

"Do you have any idea how many ways you can die in a tree? Or on a roof? On a carrosel? High up in a _plane_?"

AUFord rolled his eyes.

"The space ship didn't seem to bother you that much,"

The Stans shook their head in frustration. Almost in unision they exclaimed, 

"That's _different_ ,"

Ford laughed. AUStan turned to him with a sneer. 

"What? You think this is funny poindexter?"

"N-no," he tried to hide his smile. "D-don't mind me," he put a hand over his grin. 

AUStan threw his hands up in the air.

"I don't care _how_ many times _anyone_ tells me other wise. It isn't natural for man to get off the ground,"

Stan shouldered Ford.

"Stop laughing. It isn't _funny_ \- ,"

AUFord smirked.

"Kind of,"

AUStan snarled.

"Don't _laugh_!"

But the Fords couldn't hide their amusement as the little group made their way back to the cave. Each Stan took his turn trying to convince the Fords the proper reasoning behind - yes they could admit, but only to themselves - their completely irrational fear of heights. It was a long held argument that they had all been through many times back on Earth. But that was years ago and none of them were against hashing out the familiar topic of disscusion in such a friendly way. 

When they got back to their hidaway the Fords had pieced together the rest of what happened and were more or less all caught up on recent events. They settle, and after a while were suprised to hear a group of shouts running around very close to where they were sheltered. AUStan gave a cheeky grin and assured the worried Fords that they couldn't find them. He went on to brag about stumbling aross the little enclave and then complain about how rude and idiotic their neighbors from higher up the mountain were.

As AUStan talked he continued to rub at his stumped arm with a rueful expression.

"You think I'm bad, but seriously. Those guy are complete jerks, the whole lot of 'em,"

***

Stanley wouldn't stop smiling. Sure he frowned every now and then when AUStan poked fun at him. Or when AUFord made a thoughtless comment that came out worse than his other self would ever have wished. Or when he waited for Ford to hand him his can of meat instead of catching it like the Fords did when AUStan tossed them their 'breakfast'. But for the most part the warm smirk wouldn't go away. Not when their counterparts looked like they were about to enter a fist fight over the ethics of sneak attacks. Not when AUStan tripped and the rest of his can landed all over Stan (a little on Ford too - he was sitting right next to him). Especially not when AUStan laughed and told him he might have to smell as bad as AUFord now because he didn't know the next time they'd be able to head back to the falls. In fact it seemed like his smile grew wider as the two Stanleys appeared to share some sort of inside joke. 

"Hey - we gonna tell them now? Yeah? We should tell them. Right?"

AUStan shrugs and leans back.

"Sure. All yours,"

Stan rubbed his hands together and sat up in giddy glee. Ford looked at his brother bemused. 

"W-whats got _you_ s-so excited?" he looked at AUStan for an answer, but his brother's counterpart only gestured to Stan with a smile. 

"Okay. Ford. Au. You ready for this?"

AUFord rolled his eyes. 

"Ready as we'll ever be Stanley Pines. Please do tell,"

Stan nodded. His pursed his lips and waited a second to increase the tension. 

"We ... know where to find a portal," Stan looked around him, waiting for the Fords reactions. 

It was mostly confusion.

"A portal?" AUFord ran a hand through his hair. "Like ... those ripped holes around the planet?"

Stan shook his head.

"No - an actual portal. A machine and everything,"

AUStan nodded. 

"It's up on the mountain. It doesn't work properly, but they've got someone working on it up there. He hasn't a clue what he's doing though,"

"But you two - ," Stan slapped a hand against Ford's back. "You two know how to fix it, right? We go up there. Commandeer their portal. You two fix it up. And BAM. We all go _home_ ,"

The Fords were silent as they let Stan's words sink in. Stan looked at him with a grin.

" _Home_ Ford. We can go back to earth. Our own dimension. We can get _back_ there. Isn't this great?"

AUStan smiled wide as his counterparts enthusiasm eeked into him. He looked at the Fords, waiting for them to say something. They were silent, their brains working a millon miles an hour, trying to comprehend what Stan had said. AUStan turned curious at their expressions that grew more somber with each passing second. Ford outright frowned and AUStan's smile faltered at the lack of encouraging joy from the two of them. 

Stan nudged his brother.

"Isn't it Ford? You've got to admit. This is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Right?"

"N-no S-Stanley. I-it i-isn't,"

Stan blinked.

"What?"

AUFord glanced over at his counterpart and they shared a look. AUStan's smile dropped when he noticed the fear between their gazes. 

"Wait, what's wrong?"

Stan let out a nervous chuckle.

"Hey, aren't you happy about this? You're excited right? This is good. This is a good thing, right? Ford?"

Ford glanced at his brother, Stan's face was expectant. AUFord sighed and leaned forward looking at the ground.

"Stanley we ... no. We can't fix up that portal. I'm sorry. If that's what had you so excited - ," AUFord took in a deep breath. " - then I'm sorry, but no. That isn't a good thing. We - ," AUFord shared another look with his counterpart. " - we can't do it. We can't ... get back home. We can never get back home,"

A shiver ran up both Stans' spines. AUStan's brow furrowed.

"I don't understan Au. Do you not know how to fix it? Because I think maybe - ,"

" _No_ ,"

AUStan stared at Ford. Ford swallowed but leveled his gaze right back. 

"So - you do know how fix it?" AUStan raised a questioning brow.

AUFord rubbed a hand under his glasses.

"Yes. Yes we know, but that's not - ,"

"Then great," AUStan sat straighter. "Then you can fix it. We'll come up with a plan. We'll get our hands on the portal and then you can get it working and we can all go home. There. Easy,"

AUFord pinched the bridge of his nose. 

"Look Stanley. The trouble isn't fixing the portal," he shook his head. "Heck, if we wanted to we could probably build a whole new one from scratch - ,"

"Wait, what?" Stan stared at AUFord. "You - you can do that?"

AUFord nodded slowly.

"Theoretically, yes. It's - it's all there," he tapped his head. "With a little coaxing, yes it's very possible,"

AUStan frowned.

"Then _why on earth_ , haven't you tried before?"

"I can't. We can't. It just isn't feasible without ... ," AUFord trailed off. 

AUStan glared at him.

"So when you say can't. You really mean you _won't_ ,"

AUFord sighed and looked away.

"Essentially ... yes,"

AUStan leaned back.. His eyes flickered over to his counterpart. Stan seemed to be working something out in his head. His lips were pursed and he was frowning in thought. Ford was staring at the floor, eyes glazed over as memories invaded him.

" _Why_ ,"

Both Fords closed their eyes and shivered. 

"Stanley - ," AUFord bit his lip. "Stanley Pines it isn't your _buisness_. Leave it be,"

AUStan stared at AUFord, eyes wide. 

"Not - ," he frowned. "Not my ... _business_?" several emotions played across his face. He glanced at AUFord with a raised brow. "Run that by me one more time Au,"

"Stanley I - ,"

"Stanford?"

The three of them turned to look at Stan. Stan was staring at Ford. 

"Why not Stanford?" his uncertain eyes fixed their gaze on his brother sitting next to him. "What could possibly keep us from getting back to earth? What could possibly make this a bad thing?"

"S-Stan - ,"

AUStan started to laugh. Stan frowned and leaned back. AUStan's smile grew wider and his laughter increased. AUFord began to tremble as the noise grew to a thicker pitch. Ford was staring at him horrified, and AUFord caught his eye. 

AUFord's lips were pursed and he searched his counterparts gaze for understanding. He asked with his eyes if he was being paranoid again. He asked with a look for his other self to tell him he wasn't thinking right because Stan was Stan, not anyone or anything else, and he just had to be imaging it in his deep rooted paranoia. But Ford's eyes were wide. And as if for the first time he saw what AUFord meant when Stan had reminded him of a certain yellow triangle. It was as if for the first time ever, Ford stared at Stan with fear in his gaze and the trembling reminder of many painful nights alone in a cold cabin in the woods and the fear so thick it was palable. 

But it wasn't the first time because Ford's mind wouldn't lie to himself anymore. He couldn't tell himself everything was fine, and Stan was Stan, and that his brother never reminded him of Bill, but he did. He had so many times before and he'd flinched and Stan had frozen. Ford would step back and Stan would apologize and then both would forget it because that's what they did. They ignored it and forgot it and it led to incidents like on the ship, but here they were stuck in another one because neither Ford could deny the bubbling fear rising in their chests. 

Stan put a hand on Ford's shoulder. His brother was shaking and Stan knew everything was going up in flames under the Fords' confusing thoughts that he never seemed to understand. So he placed a hand on his brother's shoulder trying to calm him down - trying to comfort him. But Ford needed to know. He needed to understand, and Stan had to convince him. To somehow get him to stop thinking about whatever was making his heart race and to focus on the possiblity that maybe they could just finally go _home_.

"Stanford - I - I wanna get home. Can't you see? Why can't we try? I just - I want to get back to earth Sixer,"

That was the wrong thing to say. 

With AUStan's heavy laughter and the name from Stanley's lips - 

Stanley hadn't said that name in days and Ford hadn't noticed until he used it now. He hadn't realized his brother had been holding back on that familiarity until it was invoked. But under those conditions it sent a chill down Ford's spine and he physically withdrew from Stan's touch at the mention of it and he could only think about yellow slitted eyes and top hatted triangles surrounding him in a cold empty cabin while he was alone. Alone and trapped and completely unguarded against his best friend, but no - now they were enemies. But that wasn't right either. They couldn't be enemies. That would imply that they were evenly matched. That Ford had a fighting chance. That he wasn't just a pupet for a demon's amusement while the only leverage he had was his own will to say 'no' and as the many days drew on with no sleep and even less sanity it became harder and harder to resist. 

And then the memories wouldn't go away, they wouldn't leave him be as he was flooded with images so vivid he was sure he was reliving them again in real time - 

***

It was the scar. The one on his arm. The one AUStan had been so careless to ask about. The one that had decorated his skin long before he'd ever landed himself in the portal.

Bill.

And suddenly he was back in his house. Back in the cabin in the woods. Alone. Scared. Cold.

The glass on the windows had been shattered away. The bandages laced over his fingers were proof enough that his hand had been the culprit. He'd tried to border them up, but ultimately left them bare and exposed. He didn't have time to go into town and waste precious minutes on fixing a simple nuisance.

Instead he worked on coding his notes. Hiding his journals. Researching ways to get rid of Bill.

He focused on staying awake. On keeping Bill at bay. On telling himself the cold shivers running down his spine weren't from the unending fear, but instead the frigid winter air seeping through his house.

The slice on his arm had come at another time. But the memory it invoked was one much darker. The one his nightmares loved to throw in his face during the more terrifying dreams. The one that spoke of his failure. Of his betrayal. Of his monstrous actions proved through his hypocrisy.

He was sitting at the table in his kitchen. Despite his long coat, the air had bitten into his skin. It had been keeping him awake. But it had been days. He couldn't keep that up forever. In the end he had fallen asleep over his notes.

And then he was wide awake. His spirit felt rejuvenated, and he mind clearer than it had been for weeks. Until he looked across the table and saw the hunched figure drooping over his notes. It was him. It was his body. He wasn't _in_ his body. He was floating inches in the air.

"Bill,"

His body shifted. Groggy movements lifted his head and blinked - one eye, then the other. They were yellow. Thin black slits. A wide grin that promised trouble.

"Took you long enough to pass out Sixer,"

"Get out of my body Bill,"

"Keep working on the portal and we have a deal - ,"

"No! I'm never making another deal with you ever again!"

"Tsk, tsk, Stanford. You're only making this harder on yourself you know. You can fix all this with a shake of the hand. Or a flip of a switch even - if it was that simple of course,"

"N-no. I won't,"

His possessed body shrugged.

"If you insist," Bill stood to Ford's shaking feet. "Yeesh Fordsy. You've really let yourself go,"

"Get out of my body Bill,"

"That's starting to get real old, real fast Six Fingers,"

Ford swallowed. It was getting old. All of this. Bill kept possessing him. Ford kept telling him to leave. He wasn't sure why he ever bothered, but he didn't know what else to say. Every time he hoped that for some reason Bill would do as he asked - as he begged more often than not - and just leave him be for one night's peaceful rest.

"Where are you going?"

Bill stepped over to the counter and lurched forward, catching himself on the sink. He chuckled.

"You're the smart guy. Figure it out,"

"Bill _stop this_ ,"

"You're going to have to do better than that Fordsy," Bill started digging through his drawers looking for something. He pulled out a long butcher's knife and Ford's breath caught in his throat. "Eh," Bill tossed it over his head.

It went through Ford's ghostly form and he clenched his fists at the contacted. He started to take in the air his spiritual self didn't need in short hitched gasps.

"Bill _stop_ ,"

"You keep asking that, but when have I ever listened?"

Never. Bill never listened to his pleas. Stanford had tried everything, but Bill always pushed forward anyways.

Bill took out the entire drawer and turned it upside down, dumping it's contents onto the ground with a scattered set of clinks and thuds.

"Alright Six Fingers. What do you have for me this time?"

"Bill _please_ ," Ford raked his hands through his hair. He didn't want what came next. Whatever Bill decided, it wouldn't be pleasant. "Just. Let me have tonight. Let me _sleep_ ,"

Bill dropped the drawer and moved onto another one.

"I thought you didn't want to sleep. Isn't that why you've been pinching yourself so much?" Bill looked down at Ford's arm to see the purple bruises forming there. "Or why you took apart your bed?"

Ford thought about the wreckage of his room. The nuts and bolts and wooden panels all taken apart to deter him from simply laying down and drifting off.

"Isn't that why you're so relieved right now?"

Ford stepped back, his face a look of horror as Bill threw him a sly smile.

"No, I - !"

"Come on, Six Fingers. You can't hide anything from me. I know how much you like our little chats. I enjoy them too you know. Why do you think I keep coming back? Old habits die hard and I've grown fond of just how much you - ,"

"Stop it! That's not true! I hate you! I hate you Bill! You betrayed me and I hate you!" Ford put his head in his hands. "I hate you! I hate everything you've done! Everything you stand for! I hate that - that I - I just _hate you_. I hate you and don't you ever think you know otherwise - because you don't! You're _wrong_. _I hate you_ ," his emotions wracked his formless ghost figure and he visibly shook. " _I hate you_ ,"

He heard a soft murmur by his ear.

"You're so volatile Stanford. Yeesh IQ, _relax_ ,"

Ford looked up - venom in his eyes.

"D-don't,"

Bill smiled.

"You're so tense Fordsy," Bill put one his hand near his face. If he could touch the translucent image, he'd have been cupping his cheek.

It was a endearing gesture. One that reminded him of a time not too long ago. When Ford had been so enamored by Bill's every move.

"You're so clever Sixer. Don't waste that. Don't waste everything you've worked for,"

Ford shuddered. He hated himself. He hated himself for how he didn't flinch at the kind words. He hated that - that Bill was right. Old habits die hard. Ford couldn't keep himself from wanting Bill to not leave him alone. He hated that as many times as he told Bill to leave, he never wanted him to go.

Because then he would be alone. And the last good thing in his life would be gone. Even though the last good thing was also the worst thing to ever happen to him.

"Leave me alone,"

Bill frowned. And then Ford saw the metal stick in his hand.

"What is that for?"

He almost whispered the question. Bill smiled; a wide, crazed smile. He stepped over to the oven and flipped the burner onto the highest setting.

"I wish you'd work with me Sixer," he placed the rod into the flames. "You should know by now how unpleasant things get when you try to play hero,"

Ford stared into the fire. It was some sort of thermometer. He didn't even know he'd owned one. It looked like something meant to measure a turkey's temperature. His disquiet grew as the needle on the gauge slowly rose higher and higher.

"B-bill. Wh-what are you doing?"

"This can all be avoided if you simply go dig back up your other journal,"

"N-no. I won't,"

"And then you can finish the last touches on the portal. Don't hide your other two journals. Stop coding your notes. It won't matter anyways. I know the answers to them all,"

" _Get out of my body_ ,"

The rod's temperature gauge burst as the needle exploded against the glass, then hung useless.

"Ha! You see that Sixer?"

Dread was making Ford feel ill. But he shook his head.

"No,"

Bill shrugged.

"I wish you wouldn't keep making me do things like this," he went to pick up the rod.

"I'm not making you do anything! I'm - ,"

Bill hissed as he jerked back his hand. He looked at the slight blisters forming on the tips of his fingers. His mouth widened in it's crazed grin.

"Hahahaha! Look Six Fingers! I burned you! Hahaha!" He looked around himself and found an oven mitt. He put it on and picked up the rod. He was much more successful this time.

"Bill? Bill stop. Bill what are you doing?"

"Last chance,"

"Bill - Bill no stop it!"

"Too late - ," Bill jammed the rod into Ford's gut. His eyes widened. "W-whoa," he stepped back and blinked a moment.

"BILL WHAT DID YOU DO!"

Bill looked up at Ford and his face broke into a smile. He started to laugh.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"No, no, no, no, no! Bill you - !" Ford lurched. "What - ?" his eyes widened. "Oh, no," he looked over to Bill. "No. No please - don't!"

"What's the matter Sixer? I thought you wanted your body back?"

Ford shook.

"No please. I'm - I'm _begging_ you," Ford backed away in rising fear. "Please. _Please_ ,"

Bill laughed some more.

"Here you go Six Fingers. It's all yours,"

Ford fell forward and raced back towards himself. He crashed into his skin with a thud and then everything was gone.

...

...

... Pain. Heat. The fire in his gut. For that moment it was all consuming. And then he heard the echoing screams. It was his own voice. His own guttural cries raging on and on and on as the heat refused to subside. He heard the laughter. Bill's unforgiving voice not leaving him alone for a moment. He didn't care. His hands lept for the source of his agony and his hands fell on the rod.

Before he knew what he was doing, his arms ripped it out of his body. There was an instant flare and he realized it could get worse. Another howl left his lips and he collapsed onto the ground - weak and screaming. His fingers were singed, but it was nothing to the pulsing throbs that ripped through to his core.

He cried out at the heat. It was blinding. His fingers ripped at the source of his wound, but there was nothing that he could do. He continued to scream, letting the uncensored yells tear through his throat. He curled into a ball and pounded on his head. Maybe if he could distract himself. Replace one pain with another.

He dug his nails into the palm of his hands but it didn't help. None of it helped and the agony still _ripped_ through him. He'd never been good with pain, and now he didn't hold back as he shuddered on the floor and let the screams fly out of his mouth. He rode out the waves and waves of convulsing agony. It bubbled and boiled and he felt the skin around the would thicken into soup as it rose to it's peak of torture.

And then it fell.

The stabbing sensation of a million mini dragon flames left him and he fell down, down, down, from the unending ache to the decreasingly dull throb.

He didn't know how long he had been lying there. Later he'd learn it had barely been a few minutes, but he could finally think about more than the feeling in his stomach. He could register the world. He noticed he existed outside that feeling of pain.

He was left lying on the floor and somehow he had enough energy to hold himself and sob. He let the tears flow down his face as the last of strength seeped out. He'd lamented far longer than he'd been blinded by the sting, but it had been so excruciating to his almost child-like capasity for pain. Nearly an hour later he passed out.

When he came to, he was met with the same deranged laugh and a catapult of insults and put-downs.

_So pathetic Fordsy._

_It wasn't even that bad - 200 degrees! That's nothing._

_There wasn't even any blood this time._

_I couldn't even get it in that far._

_Your lucky it didn't scratch one of those important organ things you've got there._

_I barely grazed the skin._

_Don't be such a square, Sixer._

_Your so sensitive Fordsy._

_Here, help me come up with something for next time._

_Well if your just going to go then fall asleep soon! I know you'll want to see me again._

_Here - enjoy a nightmare before you go._

Ford had woken up, voice nearly shot from screaming.

***

\- but it only took a moment. It only took a second for the memory to flash across his mind and then to be torn back to reality. For him to realize his mistake and stare at Stan with a guilty expression. For him to feel worse when the old memory led him to a more recent one. Where Ford's hands once again held the hot object, but this time Stan was the target. This time Stan was the one screaming beneath him. This time it was Stan feeling the same heat he had. Worse heat than he had. Heat that stayed longer to ensure effeciancy. Heat that went away and then returned for the other one. Heat that had a more lasting impact than just some scar on his abdomen. 

AUStan had long since stopped laughing. The twin's counterparts stared at them in the sudden silence. 

Stan was staring pointedly at the floor. His brow was creased in frustration and his hands were balled into fists on his knees. 

"Are we gonna talk about this Stanford?" his voice was terse - barely above a mumbled whisper - and didn't look up as he waited for an answer.

Ford didn't reply. He couldn't. The words wouldn't come. He wanted to speak. To say something. To tell Stan how sorry he was. That he didn't mean it. To tell Stan about Bill, about everything. But somehow it was all trapped behind closed lips and he could only sit as Stan waited for a response that wasn't coming. 

After it became obvious Ford wasn't going to answer, Stan's face hardened.

" _Fine_ ," he voice was full of venom. "Then I guess we won't _talk_ ," he stood up and turned around to _kick_ his seat violently across the room where it hit the far wall with a loud thud. He walked over to it and sat down, staring at his hands as they clenched and unclenched. 

AUStan looked between the two Fords.

"You really are serious?" 

Both Fords looked away.

"So that's it? You aren't going to help? You aren't even going to _try_?"

Neither Ford responded. 

"Do you even want to get back to earth?"

"Technically Stanley - ,"

"No. No stop right there. I don't want to hear it," AUStan ran his hand down his face. "Isn't there any way - _any way at all_ \- to somehow not worry about whatever it is you're worried about, and to still get back to our dimensions?"

AUFord tapped his leg thoughtfully. He wanted there to be. He'd spent a long time thinking about just that. But Ford beat him to it.

"N-no. T-th-there isn't,"

And he was right. To the best of either of their knowledge, he was right. There was nothing they could think of trying. Whatever way they attempted to return to earth would lead to utter disaster. It wasn't as if they'd spent enough time going over the all the various probabilities. It wasn't like they didn't know that the moment they stepped through that portal to get back to earth they would be destroying the very home they were trying to get back to. That they would be letting a demon win. That would be allowing him greater power over them than they already had. 

But they didn't tell that to Stan. They barely admitted it to themselves. It was a bubbling mass of memories and emotions boiling beneath the surface of their conciousness. Everyday was a struggle to keep it there. By now they were both certain that talking about it would only make things worse.

But sitting where he was, Ford wondered how things could possibly be worse than Stan's anger simmering from his spot against the wall. 

Everyone was silent. More noises echoed from outside. It seemed they were trapped together in the cave. No one spoke as each of them worked out their own thoughts and feelings. The tension hung in the air like tangible electricity. Not a word was said.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd say things need to get worse before they get better, but that would imply they actually get better.

No one commented when AUStan finally left the cave a few hours later. They took it as a sign that it was okay to head out and not run into an unexpected fight.

AUFord murmured "I need some air," and stepped outside.

He found AUStan leaning against a tree looking at nothing. AUFord tried to say something, but stopped at the look AUStan gave him. He sighed and traveled further into the trees.

Back in the cave Stan still hadn't said a word. Ford fiddled with his extra finger as he cast his mind about for something to say. He breathed in.

"Stanley - ,"

"Stop,"

Ford looked over and saw Stan close his eyes.

"Go get some air Stanford,"

Ford frowned. He couldn't help but supply the silent _leave me alone_ he was sure his brother wanted to say. Ford hung his head. He took one last look back at Stan's forlorn figure before he stood and walked out.

***

When they left and AUStan felt an icky dark mound of mush settle in his gut. He stepped inside and saw his counterpart still sitting by the wall.

"You were wrong,"

Stan glanced at him, expression turning dark.

"About what?"

"He isn't coming for me. You were wrong. He isn't going to try and bring me back, just like they aren't going to help us get back and now we're stuck here with what we've got, but you know what? It's all right. Because _I'm_ not stuck with him. I least when we finally have to leave I don't have to deal with Ford and his wretched sense of what matters more,"

"Go jump off a cliff,"

"You're mad at _me_? Oh that's rich. That's real rich. Ford is a horrible human being and I hate him and you should too,"

"You don't mean that you idiot,"

AUStan snorted.

"You're the idiot," He let out a bitter laugh. "And yeah. Maybe I am too. I hate him. You can hate someone you care about you know. The more you want nothing more than to travel across the universe just to get back to them. The more capable you are of hating them, and I _really_ hate Ford. I'm not just gonna sit here and let those two worthless nerdrats keep me from getting back home to my idiot brother. I came in here to ask you if you were gonna help me, because together we can figure something out - ,"

"No,"

" _No_?"

"You heard me. Go away and bug someone else with your pathetic whining. I'm not in the mood,"

"You're not seriously going to _sit_ here a few hours, and then go running back to Ford with a _smile_ on your face and an apology for something that isn't even your fault? It's _his_ and he needs to _get his priorities straight,_ "

"No, I'm going to _sit here_ and debate on shoving my _fist_ in his face. _You_ are going to go back outside and leave me alone because I have nothing to say to _you_ or anyone else, so go away,"

AUStan bristled.

"What - what if I told you - ," an idea formed in his mind. "What if I told you there was a way to get them to fix the portal?"

Stan stood to his feat.

"Just leave him alone - ,"

AUStan grabbed his shirt and pulled him close.

"You're pathetic! You don't even know what I was going to say! You're so quick to just roll over and let Ford walk all over you!"

Stan was shaking in anger.

"It's not _about_ that. It's not about earth, or home, or _any_ of it. He won't talk to me and it's - it's - ,"

"And it's keeping you from going home. It's as simple as that,"

" _Nothing_ is ever _simple_ ,"

AUStan yanked him forward - he felt something in his counterpart's coat (old habits die hard) and he pilfered whatever it was he had brushed against - then shoved Stan to the ground.

"Forget Ford! _We_ are stuck here, and _Ford_ is the only one who can get us back to civilization, plentful food, warm beds, some company other than his pompous - ,"

"I'm not _doing_ this with you! Go away - and stay away from Ford!"

AUStan growled.

"Forget it. You aren't worth my time!"

"Stop acting so high and mighty and get out of my face,"

" _Fine_ ," AUStan turned on his heel and stalked out of the cave. "You're such a thoughtless _idiot_ Stanley!"

"Then I guess that makes _two_ of us!"

***

An hour or so later and AUFord found himself back at the hide away. Ford was sitting against a tree directly outside of it.

"Hey. What are you doing?"

Ford whispered, "Took a walk," and glanced over his shoulder into the cave.

"Are the Stans in there?"

Ford shook his head. He wrapped his arms around his legs and laid his head on his knees. AUFord watched as his eyes glazed over in steady concentration. His counterpart was working to solve a set heavy equations in his mind.

AUFord's stomach growled. He stepped inside the cave and walked over to the box of canned goods. He stopped, surprised to see Stanley lying on the floor fast asleep. His eyes took in the rest of the room, but there was only the one Stan present.

AUFord grabbed a can and cracked it open before stepping over to the sleeping figure.

"You look beat," he murmured.

Stan responded by twitching in his sleep. A thought struck AUFord and he reached into his coat and pulled out his pen. He stared at it for a long moment before making up his mind.

"You deserve this, you knucklehead,"

He knelt down and traced and thin line on Stan's upper lip. Stan twitched under the touch, but didn't wake up. AUFord stared down at his handy work with a smirk. He ran a hand through his own hair with and sighed.

"This is frustrating. You pull that off far better than I ever could," he chuckled and sat on the floor next to him. He ripped the lid off his can the rest of the way and started to eat it. His smile dropped. "You know, I suppose that means AUStan can pull that off too. And my Stanley. Back on earth," he stared at Stan with a frown.

A long moment passed. AUFord let out a sigh.

"I'm not doing this. Enjoy your nap Stanley Pines," he stood up and walked back out of the cave.

Ford spared his counterpart a glance before going back to thinking.

***

He wasn't going to stop. Not now. He couldn't stop now. He'd come too far. He was too close to finally getting home.

Forget the others. He didn't care anymore. They didn't matter. He had a plan. He wasn't about to let his ignorant friends -

AUStan blanched.

Friends? Where in the _multi-verse_ had that come from? Those fools were nothing more than obsticals. Nothing more than roadblocks in his way and he was going to blast through them with everything he had. He was going to go home. He was going to get back to Stanford -

And he couldn't care less if he stepped through whatever portal he got a hold of, only to find an angry brother and a cold shoulder. He was going to try anyways. He was going to do this. He was going to go up there and -

...

And what? What was he doing right now?

\- no, no. Don't worry about that -

Why? Was this neccessary? Couldn't he come up with a better idea?

\- of course he could. But he wouldn't. Two birds with one stone, and he couldn't be bothered to think of something else -

It had actually been nice for once -

\- Get a hold of yourself! With an attutude like that you'll end up as pathetic and worthless -

\- and cared about. By Ford. That Ford cared about his brother. That Ford thought that Stanley was someone worth appreciating.

...

Was he worth appreciating?

\- one armed, mean, a pathetic drifter in the multi-verse -

But of course that was Ford's fault. It was all his brother's fault, but AUStan didn't blame him.

\- didn't he though? -

A little, but what did it matter when you were surrounded by mindless creatures out for your blood? Things like that just fall away, don't they?

\- what would Ford think of him? When he stepped out of the portal. Broken. Useless -

He wasn't useless. He wouldn't be. He knew how hold his own. He'd done things with one had that most people couldn't do with two.

\- Ford wouldn't want him. Au hated him -

They'd started getting along.

\- Poindexter didn't think too highly of him -

He'd only just started actually talking to him. Was he about to ruin all of that?

\- It wouldn't matter once he got home. None of it would matter when he'd never see them again -

But it had been nice. It had been enjoyable. He'd woken up this morning surprised by how amazing he'd felt the day before.

\- Because you thought they were going to help you -

Maybe if he was just a little more patient. Waited things out. Talked to them.

\- They aren't even willing to try. Ford is putting this above his brother. Above that other Stanley -

Then there must be a reason. If Ford is anything, it's reasonable.

\- No that wasn't true. Last time he'd gone to find his brother he'd seen plenty of proof of _that_ -

But how many times had he bailed Stan out of a pinch? How many times did he have his back? How many times had he humoured him and went out for 'explorative outings'? In _New Jersey_?

\- how many times did he leave him behind. Drop him in the street. Turn his back on him. Get him landed in some monstrosity of a portal -

How many times would Stanley forgive him?

\- how many times would he forgive Stan? -

When was this going to end?

\- Now, he supposed -

This was going to end today.

\- Now -

He was going up the hill.

\- He was going to desert his other self -

He was going to desert the other Fords.

\- He didn't care -

He felt a little guilty.

\- It didn't matter -

It wouldn't matter.

\- He was going to do it anyways -

He was going to find his way back home.

\- Back to earth and food and warm beds, because forget Ford -

He was going to get back to Ford.

\- Forget Ford? Who was he kidding? He'd never had any of those nice things before anyway. He hadn't had a nice place to stay for months maybe even years back on earth. It wasn't like he had some great life that he just _had_ to return to -

Though he _did_ miss the StanleyMobile.

\- He was going to get back to Ford -

He sighed but pushed up the hill.

"Alright _Captain_. Prepare to make yourself a deal,"

***

Stan was sleeping. He looked so exhausted. His face was tucked in the crook of his arm as he took in the steady breaths of unconciousness. Ford reached out a tentative hand, then drew back. He didn't want to disturb him.

He let out a sigh and leaned against the wall next to Stanley's head. He slid down and sat on the floor, eyes never leaving his brother.

"I'm sorry," he mumured. "I - I know you don't like to hear that, but I am,"

Ford could hear his other self outside the cave, murmuring to himself as he made notes in his journal. AUStan was nowhere to be seen, but Ford didn't blame him.

"I - I need to tell you," he swallowed. "But - it's ... ," Ford shivered. "We can't go back to earth. I'm so, so sorry Stanley, but we can't," he cast his eyes around the cave, half expecting the eyes, but they were nowhere to be seen.

It was only his haunting memories and vivid fantasies that played out before him in mocking clarity.

"If we go back it would most likely create a tear in the fabric of time and space back on earth. Maybe if only one of us went back, then it could be contained. Then it wouldn't be as much of a strain. But even if I did send you back - and somehow with a way to contain it - we still couldn't do it here. Not now. Not with this portal. The four of us in one place can't be doing much for the state of existence. It would rip a entrance straight from earth to - to ... well I'm not sure what it's called. Nightmares maybe,"

 _Let's just say that when that portal finishes charging up, your dimension is gonna learn how to party. Right guys?_ (his mind filled with the sharp laughs of creatures snickering through the tear)

"I've been thinking about it a lot more than usual lately. I think it's AUFord. I don't know if it's his own level of obsession, if I'm sensing the how wrong it is to be in contact with him - if that even is wrong - , or if he just keeps reminding me like you do sometimes. I'm lost. Shooting in the dark Lee. I don't want you mad at me, but there wouldn't be a point in getting you back to earth if it only puts you in more danger,"

Without thinking, Ford reached down a hand to run his fingers through Stan's hair. He stopped himself in time and drew back with a frown. He looked at the wall opposite and closed his eyes.

Only for the images to appear in his mind. Only for the memories to come, and the visions to appear and his lids to fly open, but then there were the eyes. He trembled, his breath hitched and heart thumping at a wild rythem. His throat was tight but he still managed to whisper to Stan's sleeping figure.

"I'm scared Lee. I'm so, so scared, and it's all the time," he pinched the bridge of his nose under his glasses with a shaking hand. "I'm scared he's going to find me. I'm scared that your going to hate me when you find out. That I'll somehow lose you. I don't want to lose you. Not again. I can't do that again. I don't think I can do it alone," he stared down at his trembling six fingered hands.

Stan was silent as his chest rose and fell with the patterned intakes of unconciousness. Ford bit his lip and focused on that. Focused on his brothers breathing and sychronized it to his own. The eyes faded away. His heart steadied. He closed his lids and was met with comforting darkness.

Ford fell asleep.

***

Stan woke up to a rough shake at his shoulder. After everything, his first instict was to lash out. His fist swung wide and his knuckles connected with a jaw. He scrambled to his feet and set his bleary brain to take stock of his surroundings.

His instict had been right.

He was surrounded by men, all of them pointing unhappy guns in his face.

"Gah! He _hit_ me,"

He felt a rude leg kick him to the ground.

"What do you think your doing? Don't go hittin' nobody,"

He felt another foot jab him in his side. He growled in annoyance, only to hear Ford echo the noise somewhere else in the cave. Two sets of hands pined his arms behind his back and pulled him to his feet. He tried to shake off his captors and only received a harsh punch to the gut that left him winded.

"Ah, don't fight us. You're well outnumbered, and we only need two of you, see?"

A gun found its way to his head and he grit his teeth.

"I'm a pretty lucky man if ever there was one. What's you wanna bet it's you we don't need?"

"You bet me your tongue and we've got ourselves a deal," Stan cracked a bitter smile.

He heard a laugh and the gun lowered.

"You're a cheeky fiend, that's for sure," the voice then raised his voice to order his command. "Alright we got 'em. Let's spin out,"

The two men keeping Stan's arms behind his back shoved him forward and he had no choice but to walk. They exited the cave and noted the Fords' presence. He was being pulled up the hill and it seemed his brother and AUFord were in the same boat. Stan frowned. He had no idea what was going on, but he knew from experiance that wherever they were headed he didn't want to reach the end.

He decided to take the direct approach.

"Hey! What are you doing? Where are we going?"

"Ah, keep movin'. Don't ask no questions either,"

"Yeah, quiet you,"

A hand wacked him over the head and he tripped.

He heard Ford growl again, but he was focused on how out numbered the three of them were. Stan switched tactics.

"Ha! Are you cowardly lions taking us to see the wizard? Trust me we're a long way from Kansas. Right Dorothy?"

"Cowardly lions? What wizard? Shut your trap and stop talkin' nonsense,"

"Where's Kansas?"

"Shut it, Gulber. Don't associate with them,"

"I wasn't associatin', I was asking a question,"

"Oie, Gulber. You keep goin' on like that and Captain 'll throw you in the brigg,"

"Oh, would you knock it off with that Desmond?"

"To the both of you, I swear - one more word,"

Finally Stan heard AUFord's exhausperated sigh as the dots connected in his brain. He heard AUFord mutter under his breath.

"Were you talking to _me_? Did you just make a wizard of Oz reference - and imply I was _Dorothy_?"

Stan shook his head. He needed to do something. Every muscle in his body was tensed to _flee_ , but he couldn't just leave the Fords. Could he?

Stan let out a laugh.

"You scarecrows are in for a treat when we pull away the curtain. Everyone knows the wizard is a sham,"

"Who you callin' a sham?"

"Shut up Desmond!"

"You shut up!"

"You both shut up!"

"I think they fried their brains with that trip yesterday,"

"Too many days in the sun, that's what. Can't wait till we get of this bloody planet,"

"Tell me about it,"

"Yeah but I heard that two of _them_ are gonna fix that real quick,"

"Oh, yeah?"

Another hand knocked him upside the head, and he heard the Fords getting the same treatment.

"So which ones is it?"

"Doesn't matter. Captain said bring 'em all,"

"Only because the Rat won't say,"

"I wanna piece of that guy. He stole all my favorite rations,"

A round of laughs echoed in the group.

"Those were yours?"

He heard a stuttered cry of protest.

"N-n-no. I just - I meant, I was borrowing 'em. Yeah, I uh - feel bad for who I borrowed them from,"

"You idiot. You left them right out in the open didn't you?"

"N-n-no! Of course not!"

"Herbert, your such a laugh,"

"Knock it off Desmond,"

"Ah, cut it out Ramses. No one asked you,"

Stan nodded his head. This was good. _Keep them talking_ , he told himself. He got everyone's attention with a cough.

"Ahem. So are we stopping in a poppyseed feild or straight to the witch?"

"Witch? What witch?"

"Wait, Ramses. What's - what's a poppyseed feild?"

Stan put on a grin. It always threw his captors off guard to see their prisoner/victim/whatever at ease without a care in the world. And even if it they could care less, it made _himself_ feel better at the very least.

"It's a deadly poison that'll put you to sleep if you breath in it's fumes,"

He heard AUFord mutter under his breath.

"Stanley - ,"

Stan frowned. Now was not the time.

"Can it Au,"

Stan started to think about his options as the group lead them up the hill and went on talking.

"Deadly? If we breath it in? How are we supposed to do anything about that?"

"It's an emtpy threat you moron,"

"Gas mask, would work,"

"Yeah, because we definitely have _gas masks_ ,"

"You know what? We might have some in the back of the ship,"

"Nobody asked you Ramses,"

They were headed further up the mountain. With each step there was less and less time till they reached the top. He knew what he did, and didn't have - weapons wise. He looked around to see how far he could get with his limited vision. He thought about the Fords. He listened out for his brother.

Ford was breathing in low, shallow breaths, but was otherwise quiet. He heard him trip up a few times. More than AUFord, but not as much as Stan. He wasn't speaking for obvious reasons, but what's more was when Stan glanced over, he saw his blurry form starring pointedly down. He seemed distracted, dazed, not at all in a good state of mind.

Stan spoke again. Staying silent only tipped your hand. It let others know you were thinking of eacape. Keep talking and not only do you provide a diversion but you come across as scatter brained and distracted.

"Fellas, fellas. Death does not discriminate. Smart, dumb. Blond brunette. We'll all end up dead in the end,"

"You'll end up dead if you don't shut your mouth,"

"We can't kill them, remember?"

"Well _they_ don't know that. Yeesh Desmond. You never let me intimidate nobody,"

"Yeah Desmond. _You_ shut your mouth, or _you'll_ end up dead,"

His sense of self-preservation told him to get out of dodge and fast. A plan was forming in his head, but it was being over ridden by his desire to stick with Ford. It didn't matter even if Ford had threatened to kill him, he'd still want to keep with his brother.

He glanced over to Ford and felt his brother's eyes bore into him. What they comunicated couldn't be described in words. It wasn't a clear understanding. Ford would be just as surprised as everyone else by Stan's next action. But it was as look that made Stan grit his teeth and come to a decision.

It was a look that said; don't be a knucklehead - I'm sorry - do the smart thing - I really messed up - you got this - and either 'I didn't steal your pudding in the third grade so stop accusing me every three years' or 'I'm glad that when I got trapped in an interdimensional portal of my own making that at least it was with my idiot brother'. More or less.

It was a look that encouraged Stan to thrown down a smoke bomb and bolt.

***

AUFord was just as surprised as everyone else when Stan pulled out a smoke bomb and dissapeared. The problem was, he should have been the _least_ surprised. He also shouldn't have been as upset as he was. If Stan had taken either Ford with him the group wouldn't have given up as easily. Instead they reasoned together that they'd pretend there were only ever two of them (they gave each Ford a hard hit over the head to make sure they 'got with the program') and would get the one of them named Ramses (who rejected the idea vehemently) to go on about the probability that at least _one_ of them has to be good for something.

AUFord had mixed emotions about the whole thing. Stan running his mouth had been subjectivly annoying, but it had also given him valuable information. What's more is it made room for his surprise get-away. It was a reasonable, smart move to make. Which surprised AUFord. And what's more was how surprised he was that he was surprised.

It also made him feel defensive when the group continued to wonder about which on was the 'useless' one, and which two were going to fix the portal. He felt anger welling inside him that these idiots could ever label Stan with such an offensive title. He was confused about that. About the strange feeling in his gut that he admittedly hadn't felt in years and years.

Right up until they reached the top of the mountain at least. Then he felt curiosity at the size and make of the ship that was parked there. And that was immediantly followed by stunned silence and a growing sense of hurt anger.

Up at the top of the hill they were surrounded by a couple dozen men doing various tasks, while boxes and other items were completely spread out all around. But AUFord's eyes immediantly caught the sight of AUStan leaning against the hull of the ship. AUStan was fideling with something at his right arm. The one that was supposed to be missing. He looked to be attaching some sort of prostetic to his stub.

But what angered AUFord so much was that despite all appearances, AUStan seemed calm. Unconcered. Guilty.

He was avoiding their eyes. He knew they were there. Everyone had turned to stare at their entrance. AUStan never looked up. AUFord knew in an instant that he was responsible for their trek up the mountain. Somehow.

A voice rose above the rest.

"Where is the other one?"

The group they came up with shifted in discomfort.

"Other one? Hey Hector - was there another one?"

"U-u-uh I - I don't think there was,"

"Yeah, there were only ever two,"

"Yeah Captain. There were only ever two,"

AUFord turned to look at the man they were adressing. He stood tall with the power of authority. He looked irritated, but in a detatched way. As if he was used to the group's incompetency.

"You lost him didn't you?"

"Ramses - tell him the thing! Quick!"

"What? I'm not - !"

" _Quiet_ ,"

The man's words echoed as a sudden silence fell. AUStan's out of place laugh interrupted the errie hush.

"You take yourself way too seriously Handles,"

The man's eyes flickered AUStan's way, but he didn't turn as he stepped forward and looked at the Fords.

"Is this them?"

AUStan didn't look up as he flexed the prostetic.

"Yeah that's them,"

Ford couldn't control himself any longer.

"Stanley Pines - what did you _do_ ," he leveled AUStan with a glare.

AUStan finally looked over at him. He rolled his eyes with a sneer and pushed off his wall.

"Don't blame me. This is all your fault," he walked over and pointed at the two of them. "You can't say anything to the otherwise so just cool your jets alright?" He stepped and put a hand on the man's shouder. "Hey Handles - ,"

The man looked down at AUStan's hand. He grabbed his wrist and twisted it off him, pinning his arm behind his back at an odd and rather painful angle.

"Gah! Yeesh, Handles! You could've just asked!"

"I've told you - _do not call me that_ ," his voice was steel.

AUStan smirked.

"Ah, but all villains have that classic mustache thing going for them - ," AUStan seethed as the pressure on his arm grew tighter, but he only smiled wider. "Quit callin' me Rat and maybe we can talk though, eh Handles?"

The man shoved AUStan to the floor.

"We're done here," he gestured to a girl standing nearby. "Take him below,"

AUStan scrambled to his feet.

"Whoa, whoa. You cant just toss me down _there_ like yesterday's trash. We had a deal - ,"

"I've fulfilled my end. You have yours. I won't have any more of your interferences," he looked at the group that had brought the Fords up the hill. "Did you see the items he stole?"

Several of them gave quick nods. The man gestured for them to go.

"Retrieve them,"

They let go of the Fords and ran off back down the hill. The girl gave AUStan's arm a sharp yank in the direction of the ship.

"Ah, yeesh! Watch it!"

The barrel of a gun found its way pressed against his head. AUStan gulped and flashed a shaky smile.

"No need to be like that is there?"

"You stole my sword," the girl narrowed her eyes at him.

"Hehe. I did didn't I? In my defense it didn't look like you were using it - ack!"

She smacked the hilt of her blaster over his nose. He fell back clutching his face.

"Move,"

He looked down at his hand and red came away.

"Well would you look at that?"

She pushed him and he stumbled forward.

"Okay, okay. I'm going, just first - ,"

Smoke went everywhere.

The Fords eyes went wide. AUFord turned to his counterpart.

"Where did he get - ?"

"Where is he!" The Captain spun in every direction. "Don't let that Rat escape again! Fan out!"

Everyone scattered.

"You find him you shoot him! Dead or Alive, I don't care anymore! Whoever brings me back his head gets rewarded! Go!" He was shaking in fury, his calm attitude slipping for a moment.

Mentally AUFord couldn't help but note - leave it to Stan to get even the most hardened criminals to lose their composure.

"You two!" The man whirled on the Fords. "You better hope you can do what he says you can, otherwise - ,"

"Otherwise? What did he _do_? What'd he _say_?"

The man stopped. His angry expression mellowed as he eyed both the Fords up and down as if deliberating. Then he straightened his coat to regain his composure. He looked over them once more and gestured for them to follow. The Fords shared an uncertain look, but walked after him. AUFord's knew this had something to do with the portal. Perhaps if they got close enough with his blaster -

He was right. Each Ford froze in horrified fascination when they reached the mutilated exostructure of a machine. A machine that looked like the very same portal each Ford had been working on. The very same portal they had each fallen in. The one that had doomed them from its conception.

" _No_ ,"

AUFord stared at his counterpart in surprised. The Captain seemed taken aback also.

"No?"

AUFord frowned. He glanced at Ford, but his other self's gaze was locked onto the machine. AUFord breathed in.

"We aren't going anywhere near that thing. We know what it does. We won't fix it,"

The man narrowed his eyes.

"I ... I see," he calmly placed his hands behind his back. "I don't have time for pleasantries. I have have a machine that needs fixing. You have the means to do so. Work willingly, or it will be the worse off for you,"

A shiver ran down their spines. AUFord had a feeling where this was headed, but as he shared yet another look with his other self, he could tell that there was someone else that they both feared so much more than the useless imtimidation this man wielded. Together they stood firm. Ford shook his head.

"No,"

AUFord stared the man down. It was difficult. He wanted to look away. To get lost in old memories and break and tremble. But he kept the Captain's gaze because he had held his ground in the face of much, much worse and he would not back down.

The Captain narrowed his eyes.

"Well then ... that is unfortunate," he turned around and walked away.

The Fords watched him with suspicion. The Captain stepped over to a figure. He nodded his head at the mystery person covered head to toe in dark clothing that made its features indistinguishable.

"I don't want to be waiting on this much longer,"

The figure nodded its head in return and the Captain walked away without another word.

The Fords shared another glance. AUFord turned to make a break for it - only to run into a pair of large hands that latched onto his shoulders and gave him a rough shove to the floor.

This was not going to end well.

***

AUStan raced through the trees. They were right on his heels, but he had a leg up. They didn't know which direction he was, and he'd made good distance in the small moment of confusion that follows the explosion of a smoke bomb.

A small smile found its way to the edge of his lips. He'd slipped two of the diversion balls from his counterpart's coat. Back in the cave before he'd made his way up the mountain. As he shoved Stan to the floor in his anger, his hand found its way into his other self's pockets and he'd had enough time to make out with two smoke bombs. It was startling how many of those things he was able to keep on his person. The immense wealth of explosions his counterpart kept there was impressive.

He didn't bother being quiet as he raced through the trees. Instead he focused on keeping his trail to a minimum and zig-zagging back and forth. He stopped and took a second to look behind himself. Shouts called out, but they were far enough away to allow him some rest.

He slowed to a walk and caught his breath.

That crook of a Captain was going try and to throw him in the brigg? Again. AUStan should of known better. But he smiled anyways.

"Worth it,"

He glanced down at the prosthetic and flexed his bicep. The rest of the arm moved in response and the crude fingers clenched into a fist.

It wasn't the most advanced way to go. He'd seen some neat gadgets and bio-techno stuff that would win out over his silly piece of metal every time - hands down. But he'd had this thing a while. He'd slayed a dragon with it. He'd survived a Rat uprising. He knew its ins and outs. It was familiar. And in the face of constant change he'd grown attached to the thing. He knew it would be scrap eventually, but he'd be darned if he wasn't going to make that later, not sooner.

And now the Fords would have to fix up that portal. He just had to wait things out. Wait for the Captain to do his thing - make the Fords co-operate somehow.

He bit his lip.

It was that 'somehow' that was getting to him. But that didn't matter. The Captain had his ways. AUStan knew that well enough (the jerk).

The Fords would help one way or another. And then he'd have to go back and get them to open a passage to his planet. And even if they were mad at him they would. They were both too nice not to (suckers). All he had to do was wait things out.

It was all going according to his (granted not well thought out plan) and it felt nice for things to finally turn his way.

Of course, somewhere in the back of his mind he was forgetting something. Something important. But he didn't pay it much attention. It was probably just the empty holster at his side where those crooks had taken his blaster -

A hand latched onto his sleeve and yanked him to the ground. He found a foot on his throat and struggled against the limb. The pressure released only for the foot to jam it's way into his side with a kick.

"Gah!" He reached for his blaster (it wasn't there) only to hear a growl.

"I told you to stay away from them!"

Another foot landed and he twisted at the impact. He scrambled to his feet, but got barreled over - a fist finding it's way to his face. AUStan lashed out and heard a grunt as his hand connected. He shoved his attacker off of him and heard a yelp of surprise as he fell to the ground.

AUStan stepped back and took stock. Should he run? Should he beat the guy to a bloody pulp? He was leaning toward the latter when he saw the man's face.

"Stanley?"

Stan lept to his feet and swung another fist. AUStan stepped aside and used his own momentum to push him to the ground.

"What are you doing? How did you get away?"

Stan let out a bitter laugh.

"I knew it. You weren't around and I knew it. What did you do? I told you to stay away from them!" He got back to his feet and stood trembling in anger.

"I'm getting things done you moron! I'm not letting them keep me from getting back home!"

"You handed us over like sheep to the slaughter! Now they're up the and with what? You think you can just _make_ them fix that thing?"

"They'll be fine. There's no way that fool of a Captain won't make them do what he wants,"

"That's not how this works! You don't just force people to do what what you want! Not them! Not Ford! Not _this_!"

"Why are you still so stuck on this? Don't you _want_ to go back? You can't let them keep us from earth because of some stupid self-conscious hangup!"

"Of course I want to get back! But I'm can't force Ford to do something _he_ doesn't want!"

"Well why not? What has he ever done for you? What has he ever done besides turn his back on us? Besides throw us out in the street? Besides hurt us? Besides get us stuck in some stupid portal! I think it's high time he re-payed the favor! He's never done anything but serve his own selfish self satisfying needs!"

"You _idiot_! We're _nothing_ without Ford! He's a hopeless misguided fool! But we're worse! Ford is brilliant! He was always meant for something better than his _pathetic, idiot of a brother_ could give him! There isn't a _point_ to us without Ford!"

"I know that! You think - you think I don't know that? I need to get back to him! I - I need - I won't just - I-I can't just ... ," AUStan groaned and ran a hand through his hair. "I won't let you stop me from getting back to him. I _won't_. You - I-I won't. I _can't_ ,"

Stan gave the ground an angry frown. AUStan's jaw clenched and he grabbed Stan's arm in a firm grip.

"You're brother is _here_ ," he spat. "He's _here_ and you have him with you and aren't trapped _dimensions_ away,"

Stan ripped his arm out of his grasp, but AUStan went on in seething venom.

"He's here and you have the nerve to tell me to forget about getting back to _mine_?"

Stan was silent. He clenched and unclenched his fists and let out a heavy sigh.

"We - we obviously have conflicting priorities,"

" _Really_? I hadn't _noticed_ ,"

"Cut the sarcasm. Obviously ... obviously standing here arguing won't get anything accomplished,"

"For you maybe. I'm just biding my time,"

Stan gritted his teeth.

"Would you just work with me? If you had tried to - ,"

"To _work_ with you? Is that what you were gonna say? Because newsflash I tried askin'. You told me to jump off a cliff. This is what you get. Funny that _now_ you're willing to give me a hand,"

" _Okay, alright_. Let's _work_ _together_ ,"

AUStan sneered and leaned against a tree.

"I don't need anything from you - ,"

"You need me not to give you a black eye. Not to call out to whoever 's blundering through the forest right now. Not to do my best to stop this idiocy you've created,"

AUStan sneered.

"You wouldn't dare,"

"And I need _you_ tell me what on earth you've started. What did you do? What way can I keep that Cap from 'convincing' Ford to fix the portal so that my brother comes out of this okay?"

"If you're so concerned why are you here and he's up there?"

"If you got pulled out of sleep and dragged up a mountain by armed strangers - wouldn't your first priority be to get out of dodge?"

"Or maybe you just thought 'maybe I'll ditch Ford for a while'. It would serve 'em right,"

Stan swung again. AUStan caught the fist and pushed some distance between them.

"Cut it out!"

"Alright, fine! But tell me what you did,"

"I cut a deal. I told them that Ford can fix the portal and where to find you three. In exchange I get to leave this monstrous excuse of a dimension and I got my own things back," AUStan slugged Stan with his metal arm.

"Ow! You cut a deal for this piece of junk?"

"It ain't junk, it's _mine_. And I wanted it back,"

"That for Ford. Right. I hope it was worth it, because now? Now your coming with me and we're going up this mountain - as best we can without getting caught - and we're grabbing Ford to go,"

"Yeah well, there's a few flaws with that plan. For one you've failed to factor that I could just - ," AUStan bolted.

"Wha - wait!" Stan tripped over himself to race after his counterpart.

"Just try to catch me you moron! I dare you!"

Stan growled and slipped his way down the hill. He latched onto tree after tree as his hands guided his sprint. AUStan looked over his shoulder as his counterpart struggled to chase after him. His face twisted into a scowl.

"Give it up already! You're pathetic! You look like a drunken sailor!"

Stan stopped. AUStan saw his face harden in determination and then smoke went everywhere. He froze. His eyes darted around the trees, but when the fog cleared Stan was nowhere to be seen. AUStan took small steps backwards, eyes surveying his surroundings. He turned around and broke into another run, unsure of which direction to head.

"Stanley where are you!"

He didn't get a response. He gritted his teeth and stopped. He spun on his heel, but no there was no one there. He strained his ears, but the forest was almost silent. Only the sound of his own heavy breathing and he clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Stanley," he took another step back. "Where did you go ... ,"

He turned to find a fist sailing towards his face. He landed on the ground and a knee dug it's way into his chest. He wheezed and looked up to see Stan grab his shirt and punch him again. He struggled to push him off and his hands found yet another mystery item. He felt something tug at his sheath and suddenly felt a knife at his throat.

"You're going to _help me_ ,"

AUStan cracked an evil grin. Something clicked and he held up his left hand.

"Am I? I don't think you're in at position to make demands,"

He saw Stan's eyes widened and his head smacked against the ground as Stan shoved him away.

"Are you _insane_? You'll blow us _both_ up!"

The knife eased, but wasn't removed. AUStan chuckled.

"Hah! Who knows? Maybe I'm just that desperate! You can believe that can't you?" His eyes flashed with a mad gleam.

Stan gritted his teeth as he watched his other self stare him down.

"You're bluffing," he growled.

AUStan laughed. A cold, bitter laugh that sent a shiver down Stan's spine.

"Only one way to find out _Lee_ ,"

Stan's face twisted in disgust.

"Don't _do_ this to yourself. You have to live. Ford is coming for you. I still believe that! Things will get better. They'll work out. What do you think he'll feel when he pulls a _corpse_ out of the portal?"

"You're delusional! He isn't coming for me! He _isn't_!"

"You're wrong. Ford wouldn't give up on me. He _wouldn't_. Not again. He wouldn't just forget about me _again_ ,"

"You're pathetic! Ford 's better off without us! Heck, we're better of without _him!_ We're better off without that kind of shadow hanging over us every _second_ of our existence!"

"Would you _make up your mind_?"

AUStan banged his head on the ground.

"I don't know!" He banged it again. And then again and again and again. "I don't know! I don't know! I just don't know! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

The knife slipped from AUStan's throat. He barely registered Stan ripping the small bomb from his out stretched hand. It exploded as Stan threw it and they both flinched away.

Stan got off of AUStan's chest and took a shaky step back.

"O-okay. A-alright. That - that was close. A little - a little _too_ close,"

Exhaustion washed through AUStan as he breathed in and out. He cracked a weary smile.

"Hehe. Oops. Got a little carried away didn't I?"

Stan shook his head.

"You're insane,"

AUStan sighed.

"Yeah. Probably," he turned away and looked back up the mountain.

"They heard that,"

AUStan turned to see Stan looking up too.

"They're coming this way. They'll be here any minute," he looked down and glared at AUStan. "Look, I'm not helping you get Ford to fix the portal, but I'm assuming you don't want them to catch you either. If we work together maybe we can find something that'll accomplish both our goals. And until then, you can keep an eye on me and I you,"

AUStan pursed his lips.

"That ... isn't a bad idea,"

The sound got loud enough for AUStan to hear the many armed crew members fumbling through the forest. He sighed.

"Alright fine let's just get out of here,"

Stan held out his hand. AUStan rolled his eyes.

"You try too hard. That's gonna get you killed one day,"

"Shut up and take my hand,"

AUStan took it and Stan pulled him to his feet. Stan looked around.

"They're that way. If we go around we might be able to skirt them. Which way is the - the ship?"

"It's a bit left of us. You know for a blind man you're doing pretty well for yourself,"

"Yeah well. My aching body says otherwise. Let's just get moving,"

"By the way, what's with your face?"

"What?"

AUStan tapped his lip. Stan wiped at his mouth and ink came away. He raised a brow and scowled.

"The little - can't a guy catch some shut-eye in peace?,"

***

Stan stopped as his blood turned cold. AUStan bumped into him.

"Watch where you're going will you?" He stepped back and gave Stan a look. "What? Why'd we stop?"

"You said they'd be _fine_ ,"

AUStan raised a brow.

"Yeah, they should be. Why? What is it?"

"Where's your blaster? I'm going in guns blazing - !"

"Whoa, whoa. Calm down. You go flying in like a chicken with its he'd cut off and you'll end up dead,"

Stan grabbed AUStan by the front of his shirt and dragged him forward.

"Get your hands off me! What are you - ?" AUStan froze. " ... oh,"

Stan was trembling. He shoved AUStan out of his clenched fist and whirled on him with a scowl.

"You can hear now, can't you? Yeah, they sound _just fine_ , don't they?"

Off in the distance they could hear the tortured yells of the Fords. AUStan swallowed.

"Okay. So I wasn't expecting this exactly - ,"

Stan swung at him. AUStan dogged and pinned him against a tree.

" _Calm down_. This wasn't supposed to happen. They're supposed to fix the portal, no question,"

Stan twisted and AUStan let go of him.

"Ford is the most squeamish guy I know. You seriously think he won't crack under torture?"

"Does that sound like a okay to you!"

"No. It sounds like ... ," AUStan paused and looked up the hill. He shook his head confused.

Stan took a threatening step forward.

"You knew this was going to happen and you did it anyway! You're unbelievable!"

"This wasn't the plan, genius,"

"I don't _care_. Fix it,"

"Just - ," AUStan put a hand to the bridge of his nose. "Okay look. Help me get inside the ship and I'll make sure this gets put back in order,"

"What? How is that going to help?"

"It's a two way deal. We both get what we want. Remember?"

"What do you want in the ship?"

"If I told you, you wouldn't agree to the deal. Are we doing this, or do you want to sit here and keep listening to their screams?"

"Alright alright, fine. What do you need me to do?"

***

The sparkling electricity dimmed and then faded as they earned another few seconds reprieve. AUFord was sure this couldn't be good for his heart.

They took shuddering breaths in the silence. The aggressive figure who was firing the gun waited for their answer yet again. And yet again they shook their head and murmured a firm 'no' through clenched teeth.

Their whole bodies tensed under the strain of voltage and they struggled against the restraining grip of their captors. It was useless to fight as they grew weaker and weaker with each blast. Their shouts of pain fell on deaf ears, but neither Ford attempted to appeal for any kind of mercy. The thought hardly crossed their mind, before it was squashed under deep misgivings and the long held belief that none would ever be given. The lightning flowed again, then stopped as the figure hidden behind clothing took another moment to wait for an answer. It didn't even occur to either Ford to say 'yes' as 'no' flowed so easily from their tongue. The biting shocks continued.

And then it stopped. Between the beads of sweat pouring down their faces, the Fords looked up in confusion. Everyone's attention was pulled to a disturbance across the clearing.

"We found 'em! Right here! We got 'em right here! Call Captain!"

There was a confused scattering and then Stan was yanked over by his hair. Nearby the Captain stepped out of the ship, escorted by an eager companion.

"He was snoopin' by the ship's top entrance. But he slipped - darned if he didn't break his neck, that's for sure. But we found the Rat,"

The Captain took one look at Stanley and scowled.

"You fools. That isn't him. He is still in possession of both his appendages,"

All around the crew members gave each other worried looks.

"W-well sir. It - it _looks_ like 'em, don't it?"

"Yes, yes. The resemblance is uncanny," the Captain stepped over to Stan with with a curious gaze. "And just who are you?"

Stan spat blood at the Captain's feet.

"He 's in your ship," Stan jabbed his thumb towards the vessel with a bitter scowl. "I swear you don't rip him to pieces _I will_. Rat. Yeah try _viper_. YOU HEAR ME UP THERE! I HOPE THEY FIND YOU AND PUT A _LASER_ THROUGH YOUR HEAD!"

The Captain motioned for his crew to invistigate the ship.

"High alert. _Don't_ let him get away,"

The crew members flooded the space machine's hull and disappeared from sight. The Captain turned back to Stan, but into the confusion Stanley had already shucked off the man holding him and ran to the Fords' side. The Captain gestured for the Fords' own captors to let them go and they fell to their knees. Stan knelt down besides them and squeezed each of their shoulders in a strong grip.

"Hey there poindexter. You're not looking too hot,"

AUFord gritted his teeth and hissed in Stan's ear.

"Stanley what are you doing?"

"Wow, you two feel awful. First thing we're doing when we get out of this mess is were heading back for the falls. You need a shower. And some hot cocoa, and probably some nice down feather - ,"

AUFord groaned and glanced around for an escape. Stan frowned.

"Hey, it's all gonna work out okay? I'm still furious at all three of you - ," Stan gave them a light shove. " - But I've got this. Or at least - I hope I do," Stan glanced towards the ship.

"A nice sentiment, false as it is,"

They turned to stare at the Captain.

"You know, you four look quite similiar. Well it wouldn't be the strangest thing in the multi-verse. Whatever it means,"

Stan thought of Ford's pain laced shouts and acted without thinking. His hand clenched into a fist and he swung. The Fords reached for him.

"Stanley, no!"

The Captain caught Stan's hand. But he lashed out with his other fist. The Captain caught that one too and twisted his wrist, pulling his arm behind his back. Stan struggled against the iron grip.

"Let me go, so I can show you the genuine Pine's left hook!"

The Captain threw Stan to the ground and the Fords stood defensive, ready to fight.

"Stan you idiot," AUFord pulled Stan to his feet while keeping a wary eye on their attackers. "Are you okay?"

Stan growled and grabbed AUFord by the front of his shirt.

"Don't start with me Au - ,"

"S-stan, s-s-stop - ,"

Stan dropped his hold on AUFord and glared at his brother.

"I told you, I'm still _mad_ at you Ford. Don't go pulling something. I'm not in the mood for it,"

Ford frowned and stared at the ground. He bit his lip and whispered words so low he knew only Stan could hear.

"Stanley, I'm sorry - ,"

"Shut it. I don't want to hear your lame apologies," Stan turned and stared at the Captain. He pointed an accusing finger in his direction. "You think you can do whatever you want, but you can't. I won't let you. You aren't walking away from me without at least a black eye,"

"S-s-stan," Ford grabbed Stan's arm, but Stanley shrugged him off.

Stan stared at the Captain.

"Me and you, let's do this. If your aren't chicken that is,"

The Captain stared at Stan with a bored expression. His eyes flickered to the shrouded figure. Then back to the Fords.

He looked at Stan's determined features and gestured to him. "I'm running out of patience," The Captain whirled on his heel and walked away.

Stan glared after him with a frown.

"Coward. Come back here and let me knock some sense into you - ,"

Ford grabbed his arm and pulled him back. AUFord stepped closer.

" _Stan_ ," He hissed. "What on earth was _that_? What are you thinking?"

Stan rolled his eyes.

"Stalling," he murmured. " _Obviously_ ,"

"What? Why - ?"

Ford pulled Stan closer as he saw the clothed figure advance. He didn't like the way things were headed. Behind him the men that held them before reached out to grab at them again. Ford whirled and stepped back. AUFord was right with him as they searched for an escape in the surrounding mass of bodies.

The shrouded figure pointed it's weapon and shot at AUFord. He let out a shout of pain and Stan leapt to help him, but Ford kept him back.

"Ford, let _go_ of me," Stan hissed.

Ford saw an opening. He glanced at AUFord doubtfully, then made a run for it, dragging Stan behind him. His brother struggled in his grip, before he stopped and barreled Ford over completely. A blast whizzed past his head and Stan no longer complained as they surged forward.

Wirey men and women blocked their path on all sides as they dropped what they were doing to catch the twins. Ford did his best to twist between them, but a paticularly burly man managed to grab his shoulder and pull him back with a jerk. Stan lashed out with a fist, only to yank it back and hold his wrist in pain. He looked at the man with wide eyes.

"What are you _made_ of?"

The man's ears turned red. He rubbed his nose and replied in a gruff voice.

"Oh, you know. This and that,"

Stan nodded, still amazed.

"Yeah, um. Just yeesh," he grabbed Ford's arm and tore off in the opposite direction.

A woman stopped them in their tracks. She punched Stan in the nose and sent him reeling to the ground. Ford swung at her. She barely dodged before landing a blow at his side that sent him to his knees.

Ford's head spun. He saw the figure skirting the edge of the confusion. AUFord looked contained, but okay. Ford stood to his feet and reached for Stan. The large man from before grabbed him away and pinned his arms behind his back. He struggled to get free, but the man's grip was iron. Stan slunk around them and kicked out at the man's legs. The man's knees buckled and he fell. Ford twisted out of his grip and grabbed Stan to run. He had a clear view of escape and already his mind raced to think of their next move.

Pain bubbled under his skin and he let out an unrestrained yell. Ford stopped in his tracks, and fell to his knees. The familiar electricity sparkled around him then disappeared. He was left trembling, Stan's arms wrapped around him, trying to keep him up.

But they were too late. They were surrounded. The two brothers got yanked back to where AUFord was, and Stan struggled defiantly all the way. Ford felt exhausted. He felt like he wanted to curl into a ball next to Stan and fall asleep for hours.

He looked over at his brother and his angry expression. A pang of regret twisted in his gut. He hated when they fought.

The figure stepped up holding the gun. The one with physics defying sensations that twisted under your skin in indescribable ways. Ford flinched at its uneven sway - it's owner seeming unsure of whether or not to use it. The figure stared at them, hidden beneath the folds of cloth and other similiar adornments. The pause felt like any other, yet somehow the Fords could easily interpret it as questioning. They both returned the clothed figure's level gaze, neither willing to relent.

There was another moment of tense silence as the figure stood unmoving. Even Stan seemed intrigued by it's quiet nature. Then the gun was raised and the Fords tensed waiting for the shock of the blow.

It never came.

Stan's choked shout punctured the air.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... Sorry

There was a turn and he knew where it lead.

They'd switched it around a few times, but that didn't stop him. GraNted it had been a while since he'd crept through the empty metal halls. The large ship was understaffed, so the long corridors were almost deserted. Most of everyone was always outside.

He turned and hit a gold mine.

Not literally. But the mass of boxes filled to the brim with weapons and tradable goods and all sorts of food from all over the multi-verse looked just as tantalizing.

"Jackpot,"

Not for the first time he thought back to few times he'd actually won the lottery. Sure it was maybe a $50, or at his most a $500. But that had led to a nice motel, a tasty diner, and a little extra cash.

His luck had really started to run out as time went on - in more ways than one. But he was here now, so he did the best with what he had.

Walking straight past (maybe not straight - his coat could fit a few more things) all of the cargo, he headed deep within the stash of boxes to a control panel he knew was hidden there. He knew because he'd once had to hide right next to it for at least an hour and his back got sore just thinking about it.

Some loud clanging echoed somewhere in the ship and he paused, confused. There was a pounding of feet and a loud set of shouts. His eyes widened as he realized they were getting closer and he hurried over to the panel. He tore it off (using two arms. Two arms, two hands - sort of - and it was so much easier, man had he missed that arm) and started flipping as many switches as he could.

He didn't even bother to replace the panel's cover before he whipped around and raced out of the room. Lights dimmed and faded before turning off all together. The whole ship creaked as all the power shut down and the metal rust bucket settled into a quIeter lull than before.

"Hey, who turned out the lights?"

"It was the Rat! Come on, he must be in the cargo hold!"

And suddenly AUStan was sprinting.

He took a sharp corner and kept his eyes peeled for an exit. There wasn't anyone on his tail, but bodies were converging. Soon he'd be surrounded. How on earth had they caught onto him so fast?

Doors lined the corridor. He'd looked in almost all of them, and tried to remember which one miGht prove helpful. He stopped in front of a old, rusted door, with a ominous gloom seeping through the cracks. He gulped.

_Ah, the good old engine room._

He didn't want to, but the voices were just around the corner. He eased open the sliding hinge and it creaked in protest. Steamy fumes met him, but he slipped inside and closed the door behind him. Feet pounded past and he relaxed, taking in a deep breath.

He swallowed and looked around. The place was a sauna. Thick steam fogged the ceiling. His eyes flickered to the door a little ways down the small stairs and to the left. He ran a hand through his hair, lips pressed together in a slight grimace.

He was about to turn around and head back out when something caught his eye. A puddle of red brown in a pool on the ground. His brow furrowed as he stepped closer.

And then he stopped himself right where he was. That was blood. That was definitely a pool of blood. And if he knew anything, blood meant run. It meant get out of the building, get out of the town, get out of the _state_.

The door was halfway open when he heard the muffled sobs. He stopped and perked his ears. Crying? Crying and an old pool of blood and that ominous door down there that he wasn't going to think about.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and told himself to walk away.

_Walk away Stanley. Just walk away. You always do this to yourself. It always ends badly. Just walk away._

His feet turned against his will and he found himself creeping down the stairs.

_You're an absolute idiot! Walk away! Walk_ **_away_ ** _!_

The noise was punctured by the soft murmurs of,

"No, no, no, no, no. Not now. Please not now. I'm so _close_ ,"

Tall machines blocked Stan's view, but he crept around the hot boilers and other parts of the ship's engine and looked.

A man - one of the crew members it seemed - was lying on the ground dead. AUStan raised a disgusted brow at the sight of his eye sockets looking a bloody mess. They seemed to have been jabbed out with some crude instrument, and the blood had pooled on the ground around him and above his head. Another man stood a ways off, his back turned and focus centered forward. All around him lay wires, circuit boards, pieces of the ship ripped apart and put back together.

He was muttering soft words under his breath, and tears streaked his grime covered face. AUStan raked a hand through his hair and pulled as he recognized the crazed mess sitting in front of him. It was the poor sap who'd been working on the portal. The man looked even worse than the last time he'd seen him. The Captain hadn't been kind to him. He was still covered in old bruises and scrapes. New ones too, with fresh blood scabbing.

Then he saw the man's hands and inwardly groaned. The poor unfortunate soul who'd been being beaten to a pulp in the crew's frustration and impatience. The scrawny stick of a man who'd spent sleepless nigHts working on that machine outside. The one who now sat here in a blubbering mess. He was covered in blood up to his elbows. Stan didn't have to be a genius to tell the man had snapped. Had ripped at his captors eyes - killing him - and now sat muttering nonsense to himself under his breath.

Crazed men like this were never a good idea. Now he _really_ should just walk away.

"No, no, no, no, no. Where's the power? I'm so _close_. Where did the power go? Where'd it _go_?" The man broke down crying again. His sobs echoed around the room.

_Don't_ _do this Stan. Do NOT do this._ _It's_ _a bad idea. Walk away. Just WALK AWAY._

AUStan stepped up and knocked on a piece of metal next to him. He tried to stay back. Be gentle about it. Not spook the man and make him lash out in fear. It didn't seem to matter. The man stared forward not paying attention to him in the slightest. He frowned and stepped forward. The man took a set of wires and twisted them together. AUStan noticed that under all the blood, the man's own fingers were split open and raw from whatever he'd been doing down here.

"Hey, are you - ," he stopped himself. Are you alright? What kind of stupid question was that? Of course he wasn't okay. " - do you - do you need help? Is there anything I can do for you?" He stretched out a hand and placed it on the man's shoulder.

The man shuddered under his grip and turned to look at him.

"I-I-I - y-y-you - I-I-I um - I-I- ,"

"Whoa, whoa. Calm down there," a thought struck AUStan. He reached into his jacket. "Here. Have a cookie. It's only a little stale,"

The man gulped and took the biscuit out of his hand. He stared at it for a moment before bursting into tears.

"She loved cookies!" He threw himself around AUStan's neck and sobbed.

AUStan reeled from the attack, but he got his bearings and gave the man a hesitant pat on the back.

"There, there, um - Mister,"

The man wet his shoulder with his tears. The blood didn't stop itself from spreading across his clothes as AUStan held the man with a frown. He cursed himself for being so vulnerable at the sight of a crying nerd. It was like - his _one_ weakness.

Or well. Maybe not the only one, but that didn't make this any better.

"So, er - what are you doing here?" AUStan tried to pry the man's arms off him a little so he could look him in the eyes. It wasn't much help. They were such a deep well of hopelessness that AUStan fell silent. He got lost in his own dark thoughts.

"I-I-I need, I-I-I'm going to try and, to - to fix this,"

AUStan blinked.

"Oh, right. Uh - Fix what?"

The man's face hardened in determination. He clenched his fists and whirled back to his work.

"They - they won't be able to do this any longer. I'm going to make sure - we'll all go free," he took an exposed wire and touched it to a circuit board. A spark let off.

AUStan narrowed his eyes.

"Right ... well um. I think you ripped that guys eyes out. Also you just had a breakdown, and now I've got blood everywhere. If I had to say, that's grade A horror material right there,"

The man seemed to completely ignore Stan's comment.

"Fr-free. Finally I'm gonna see her,"

"Her? Who 's her?,"

"Muh wife. I'm gonna free us, and I can go see muh wife!"

AUStan's eyes widened. He glanced to the door.

"She's - your wife is in there?" He flinched. No wonder the man was in hysterics.

"No ... no not there. No! But ... I'm gonna see her. Gonna see her soon," He started mumbling again and turned to mess with wires and circuitry.

AUStan closed his eyes, irritated.

_What am_ _I_ _doing?_

"Hey. What are you uh, doing over there? With those wires?"

The man glanced at him and gulped.

"I - I uh," his eyes shifted to the gadgetry in his hands. "I'm - I'm rewirin' it. It's - I um - ,"

"Hey no worries. Let's try something easier. How long have you been down here?"

AUStan had seen him up and about no less than a week ago. Around the same time he'd stopped coming. The same time he'd lost his arm to the Cap'.

The man bit his lip.

"A - a few days. They - I - I wasn't working fast - fast enough," he eyed the dead man then his hands. His voice dropped to a whisper. "I - I think I killed him. I - I don't really ... remember,"

Stan sighed and knelt down next to him.

"Yeah, that'll happen,"

The man closed his eyes.

"I'm going to set them free. I'm going to free them from down there," he opened his eyes and stared into AUStan's.

Once again AUStan got lost in the despair of his gaze. His brain worked slow, and then recognition sparked.

"You mean ... them?" He pointed towards the door without really looking.

The man seemed to advert his gaze too, and nodded his head.

"They were going to take me down there again. I'd just got back up. I - it's too much. I - they shouldn't be there. I'm going to set us all free,"

AUStan shivered. He'd seen through that door. Right before he'd whipped out the surprise blaster and shot his way out of the ship. He didn't return for a while after that. Then he came back, bold and daring and full of snide grins.

But he'd seen the other side of that door. He'd had nightmares a few days after. Downstairs wasn't pretty. He couldn't imagine this man actually spending time in there.

"So all this? Are you opening the door or something?"

The man shook his head.

"It isn't locked from the outside,"

"So you're saying - you're saying I could just open it? I could just walked down there right now?"

"Don't," The man turned around and resumed working.

AUStan was silent. He let his eyes wander to the door. He thought about what he would see. The darkness. The pale, sallow faces. The stench of decay. The sound of soft moans that prevailed against all odds. He'd only caught a glimpse, but it was telling. The prisoners down there were starving. No one had bothered to remove the dead bodies. Some looked as if they'd resorted to cannibalism, other seemed to reserve themselves for death. The depression. The lack of light. The hopelessness and despair.

He'd taken one look and had run for the hills.

Helping them had never even crossed his mind. Helping this broken man the first time he'd left the top of the hill had never crossed his mind. Nor helping him the next time he sneaked in and out. Or the next. He'd been too focused on his own goals. The thought of giving aid long suppressed under bitter failures and the need for his own survival. He'd spent far too long back on earth making it out for himself. And when he finally had thought of someone else. When he'd raced to Ford. That hadn't ended well either.

AUStan wasn't sure if it was just his counterpart rubbing off on him, or the sheer level of pathetic help the man in front of him needed. But he knelt down next to the man and looked at his work.

"How can I help?"

The man bit his lip.

"N-no. Just wait with me for the end. I'll make it end ... ," he took a shuddering breath. "I - I'm going to finish this," the man nodded. "Then we'll be free,"

That sounded rather ominous.

"What do you mean?"

The man gulped and shoved a hand over his face. Another set of tears rolled down his cheeks and AUStan shifted in discomfort.

"Look I didn't mean to - ,"

"I'm gonna see her," he sniffed, but removed his hand, his expression resolute. "Not a molecule of this wretched vessel will be left when I 'mplode us all,"

AUStan blinked, confused.

And then he remembered what the word 'implosion' meant.

He took a breath in. And then let it out.

"Oh boy," he rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, I'm not one to talk, but are you sure that's what you wanna do?"

The man's face hardened in determination.

"I'm gonna see muh wife,"

"Your - ? ... oh,"

The man pointed to the door, wires stretching with his hand from the gesture.

"I'm gonna free them,"

AUStan raised a brow.

"Free them? Right ... ," AUStan rubbed his temples with a hand. "And if I tried to stop you?"

The man's eyes widened. He seemed to panic at the very idea. AUStan didn't like the wild look he was getting.

"Which I won't! I won't alright? Yeah - go ahead. Blow yourself sky-high. Err - the opposite of that. Ground-low? Whatever. I just - hope you don't mind if I try and avoid my own death?"

The man's next words were quiet.

"Are you sure?"

AUStan blinked.

"Am - ? Am _I_ sure? Are - are _you_ sure. You're - you're the one who - who is ... ," AUStan trailed off.

The sudden opportunity that presented itself was really throwing him for a loop. All he had to do was stay. This time it wasn't like he had to pull the trigger. There weren't any cliffs to jump from, or small, innocent pills to down. All he had to do was stay.

"Yes. Yes of _course_ I'm sure. Yeesh," AUStan turned his eyes away, hands clenching and unclenching to keep them from shaking. "Its - look I - I wish you good luck, okay? Life has a way of messing these things up, so good luck," he bolted for the door, not wanting to stay there any longer.

Just then the power came back on. The man broke out into a fit of giggles and jumped at his wires with renewed vigor.

"Thank you!" he muttered. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

AUStan gave the man one last look before running out of there - mind and heart even more wound up than before. 

***

"S-s-stop it!"

The burning sensation left Stan's skin and he slumped in his captors' hold. He willed himself to stay awake, but his lids closed and his mind threatened sleep.

It wasn't pleasant.

And then it started again. He couldn't stop the scream from leaving his lips.

"He isn't apart of this! Leave him alone!"

He waited for it to end. He knew it had to finish eventually, and he was right. There was anoTher lull between shocking blasts and he took in deep, shaky breaths.

It wasn't the first time electricity had raced through his skin. He'd had his fair share with light sockets in some poor maintenance motels. And then there was that one time he'd had a run in with the mob down south.

But this was something else.

It didn't _hurt_ per say. Which was weird. Or if it did, it was unlike any pain _he'd_ ever experienced. It was ... foreign. That was the closest he could describe it. It - _crawled_ under his skin. His body felt like someone else's. It took over and jumped around and made him feel as if he was on a different level of existence entirely. It felt like the universe bubbled in his bones and the coldest burning sun shot daggers across his nerves. He couldn't think, he could barely feel, and he just wanted it to _stop_.

It started again.

He felt detached. Like something was trying to rip him out of his body. But he also felt so completely _there_. So held to the moment. So much in the present. Almost against his will. Every muscle in his body flaring with awareness and understanding. His brain wanted to melt under the strain.

It ended again. Like a flip of a switch and the feeling was gone. Its sensations were fading from memory, as if his mind didn't dare try and comprehend them. He was left tired, but clear headed. Any haze fell away as if seared from his very skull. His body ached with exhaustion, yet he felt energized all the same. As if he was left days on end without food or sleep, and had just taken the biggest energizer drink he could find. He wanted to race over the edge of the world, but felt tired enough to pass out right there. It was at the point when he could push his body farther than it ever needed to, but knew he shouldn't or he'd hurt himself beyond belief.

It was almost intoxicating.

He heard a low growl and a slur of murmurs so quiet even he couldn't quite catch them, and then it started again.

Every second held under its flames was like relearning a new sense of agony. And then it stopped. And it was as if he only needed to let himself forget to want more. It was a revolting idea that floated across his mind with sick pleasure.

In between blasts, when his head could function without exploding, and the random thoughts came and went despite his predicaMent, he felt that whatever the description defying sensation was, it could have once been used as some masochistic drug. He swallowed in between heavy breaths as he remembered a time when that might have appealed to him. Now it only sent a churn of disgust rolling through his stomach. He hadn't felt that low in a long time. He'd been in a much better place for a while now.

Now he had Ford.

He was yelling again and shouted words were being spoken, but it wasn't till the blast of electricity faded that he could process anything.

"You don't _understand_. It wasn't _meant_ for simple cross dimensional travel. It's built to cause severe damage to the universe it's activated in - ,"

It stared again and Stan wished he would stop screaming. His throat was starting to feel raw.

"Stop it! Just _listen_ to me,"

He felt a little surprised at AUFord's protests, but he remembered hearing his brother's screams. It was a sliver of acceptance in a situation he was none too fond of. He thought at least it was him, not Ford. That maybe in the end the whole thing wasn't even that bad -

He was wrong. The jolt of knives came back and he was so, so wrong. It was agony and he wanted it to stop. _Needed_ it to stop. He was losing his mind as they bled out through his ears. He couldn't think, he couldn't _breathe_ as he locked his jaw and bit back another scream.

"We lied! We lied, alright? We told him we could do it, but we can't, so just _stop_ ,"

He wasn't sure how either Ford was still standing. He just wanted to drop to the ground and sleep.

He needed to do something. Another distraction, or maybe a smoke bomb. But the grip on his arms was too tight. And really he didn't care anymore. He told his traitorous counterpart he'd stall, and that's exactly what he was doing -

More screaming, more pain, and he knew he couldn't wait. He wanted this to end _now_ -

And then he could breath. He could think. He knew he'd hold out. He could last a little while longer -

Another flick of a switch. Another sudden twist of the knives.

He was wearing down. How much longer could he keep doing this? How long had they been at it? It felt like hours. The constant back and forth, on and off. Even between blasts his mind still swirled against the constant shifts. He could last longer, couldn't he? For Ford?

Except - this was all Ford's fault. He was the one who wouldn't do what they wanted. He was acting like a stubborn mule, and here Stan was, paying the consequences.

Ford must have a reason. It was probably a good one too. Stan just didn't no how much more he could take. Anger swelled across his heaving chest. Why wouldn't Ford _talk_ to him?

"It's a death machine. _I swear_. If we turn it on we'll all die. It's not even a portal. It's - it's just one giant death ray!"

Stan barked out a laughed.

The next blast didn't come as he felt all eyes turn on him. He was just as surprised as everyone else. He felt like dropping to the ground and passing out, but instead he was laughing.

"Death ray?" The wide smile ached, but he couldn't help it. "Seriously Au? A death ray?"

He was met with stony silence. The gun cocked and Stan's smile vanished. He flinched away, waiting for the next blast.

"Yes,"

Nothing happened for a long moment. Then he heard AUFord speak.

"Are you _insane_?"

***

He felt strange. Empty. Overfilled. Dead. Far, far too alive. It was a dark emotion. That much was sure. Nothing positive showed in his deadly expression that refused to lift from its frown. He could feel it like cold blAck poison working it's way through his veins. His entire body focused on one thought, and one thought only.

How _dare_ they hurt Stan.

He couldn't do anything except agree to make them stop. Make the cloaked figure stop firing. Get Stan out from under the flames.

Waves of revulsion crashed down on him as he realized he hadn't said yes after hearing the first surprising shout. But that hardly mattered now. The anger that coarse through him was cold as ice. Not boiling lava, or an uncontrollable rage, but instead a dagger-like resolve that froze his heart and steeled his nerves. Every second spent not lashing out was a second sinking further and further into the black pit of hate building inside of him. All he could do was wait as his mind spun with possibilities.

He stared at the portal.

Its metallic exoskeleton didn't look as nice as his had. It was missing an exterior metal covering that hid it's inner workings. It looked like it had been skinned alive - it's wires showing bare. It's steel alloy rusted over, the entire thing coveRed with grime and other wear from the elements. He wasn't sure what it was doing here. But it looked exactly like his. The same massive upside down triangle shape. The same foreboding presence. The same tremble of fear that it sent down each Fords' spine.

The memories came. Shivers ran up his back, but Ford took a moment in his icy inferno to dwell on the past days gone by. He let his mind skim over the recollections, and an idea came into his head.

He stepped forward, silent as he went to work on the portal. AUFord asked him questions, but he didn't respond as they poured over someone else's notes. AUFord was having a hard time keeping himself together, but Ford seemed almost clear headed. It was as if for the first time in years the chaos had organized itself in his mind. And despite each of his movements being one appeasing gesture after another. Each a struggle to keep Stan safe. He still felt the pull of the new found ideas that entered his head.

***

He'd set off a silent alarm. Last time had been an accident. This time it was very much on purpose.

He looked around the room and sneered at the pristine bed, the various guns displayed, the odd piece of gold. There were papers with numbers and maps and many, many words that would probably mean a great deal to him if he bothered to read any of it. Instead he stood and let his eyes wander his surroundings. Many disturbing images of the same picture were copied over and over and over again in different formats. He felt like he was being watched. But there was also a hushed sense of privacy that he reveled in breaking with his presence. He wasn't supposed to be there.

He knew there was an alarm. He'd been told about it last time. But there were no obvious signs as he faced his back to the door and waited. _This_ was why he had wanted to get in the ship. Any thoughts of random sabotage or playful trickery was put on the back burner as he lingered in the oppressive atmosphere.

His fists clenched and unclenched in expectation. He needed this. It would be ... cathartic, to say the least.

He thought about all the emotions tumbling through his mind. Stanford. The two here, and the one back home.

Home? Was Earth ever a home?

Thoughts like those made his teeth grind. He was torn between anger and hope. Between despair and determination. He was swimming circles in his mind and he really just needed something to _punch_.

"I thought I told you last time. Stay out of my room. _Rat_ ,"

The grin grew on AUStan's face and he turned around.

"Is it because you don't want anyone to see the crazy?" AUStan gestured around himself. "I didn't think it was possible, but somEhow it's gotten even more eccentric since last time," He stepped over to the dresser and picked up a transparent prism. "Seriously Handles, what's with all the triangles?"

The Captain narrowed his eyes.

"You must have a death wish. Surrender now or I'll rip off your arm and beat you with it," A smile crept onto his face. "Again,"

AUStan growled.

"You got lucky," he took a step forward. "That won't happen this time,"

The Captain drew out a weapon, but AUStan jumped forward and knocked it out his hand. The Captain dodged AUStan's fist and landed one of his own. AUStan tumbled back with and groan. The Captain narrowed his eyes and stepped forward.

"You have no idea what you've been dragged into," he latched onto AUStan's coat and wrenched him closer. "You're just a bottom feeder with a mouth, yet somehow it's your face that haunts the multi-verse. _How_?"

AUStan grinned through the pain. He'd taken far too much abuse recently. He probably shouldn't have had that fight with his counterpart last night. (Last night seemed so far away) At the time it had felt like fun. Now it made his smile bitter. He pulled back his arm and slammed it in the Captain's face.

The metal of his ol' reliable connected with jaw and the Captain staggered back. AUStan rotated his shoulder, but reveled in its functionality. Man had he missed that arm.

"You know Handles, you're just a glorified bully," he stepped over and grabbed the Captain by the front of his shirt. "I can deal with a lot of decrepit types," he swung his metal arm, landing the Captain in the nose. "Jerks," he hit again. "Idiots," and again. "Losers, traitors, fools," and again. "But if there's one thing I can't stand," he shoved him to the floor. "It's a bully,"

The Captain moaned from the floor.

"I'll kill you. And it'll keep the flood gates closed. Then you can't ruin anyone else's life either,"

AUStan bristled.

" _Me_? _I'd_ ruin lives? What about what you did to that poor sop who was working on the portal? What about everyone in the _brig_? What about everything you make that woman go through? I know McCorkle doesn't like being your 'method of persuasion'. Just how many lives have you wrenched control from with your mindless conquest? At least have the decency to ruin someone's life for a _reason_ ,"

The Captain surged forward and leapt at AUStan. AUStan's eyes widened as he dodged. The Captain hooked his leg around AUStan's and sent him crashing to the floor. A swift kick to his side made him groan.

He felt hands on his shirt as he was pulled up. He squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. He couldn't lose. Not again. His body was starting to ache, but he wouldn't let the Captain get the better of him. Not _again_.

"A few lives are _nothing_ to the grand scheme," the Captain's low voice was a hiss. "You should be _less_ than nothing in the grand scheme. Why are you so _important_? Why is your face _echoing in my dreams_?"

AUStan threw a fist into his side and the Captain doubled over. AUStan thrust his knee into his gut and pushed him away.

"You're really losing it Handles - ,"

"Don't call me that!"

"Well then quit callin' me Rat. You could at least bother asking me my name, _Captain_ ,"

The Captain straightened and leveled a hateful gaze at AUStan.

"I know your name. I hear it whispered _everywhere_. He's _obsessed_ with you, _Rat_ ,"

AUStan raised a brow.

"Who?"

"That lunatic nightmare triangle won't stop shouting for everyone to look! Like a wanted poster burned into a dream, your face is everywhere! Your name is everywhere! Who in the multi-verse are you Stanford Pines!"

AUStan's blood turned cold. He took a step back, but the Captain didn't seem to notice or didn't seem to care. The Captain's eyes flickered around himself. They caught the gaze of every strange picture, every single eye that was copied over and over again and strewn across the room. The same figure. Over and over again, the triangle with one eye that the Captain himself had placed all across his walls. AUStan swallowed.

"That isn't my name,"

The Captain locked his gaze back onto him.

" _What_?"

"It's not my name! My name is _Stanley_. Stan _ley_ Pines. I can't _freakin'_ _believe_ this! Even in the _multi-verse_ the 'better' twin overshadows my life!"

AUStan stepped forward and forgot any thought of restraint as he threw himself into a desperate brawl. The Captain turned on him, face scrunched in anger. Somewhere in the mix a knife landed deep in flesh.

***

Red tinged his vision. White static took to crowding his ears. If he'd been in a better state of mind he might have been worried. Instead he moved on auto pilot. He took his surroundings in through narrowed eyes as the noise was filtered out by his mind's haze.

The sudden blast from the ship only made things worse. A giant field of pulsing energy shoved them back in waves. Three. Four. Five then -

The air was ice. The breath was _sucked_ out of him as he was _pulled_ forward then - nothing. The frozen air died and everything was still. Ford put a hand to his head as the world swayed. He looked at the empty clearing around him.

It wasn't empty. At least a dozen or more people were laying just as dazed and confused as him. But the ship was gone. Its large body was nothing more than a freezing burn that sizzled the grass where it had rested. Ford's eyes locked onto a single figure. His jaw locked and he heard blood rushing in his ears. His vision tunneled, it's focus singular as he blocked out the steady tide of eyes haunting him. Words whiSpered around him, too faint to make out, but Ford didn't care.

He pulled himself up on shaky legs. The machinery glitches and sparked in his peripheral. Its static energy powered pieces in off-centered patterns. Besides him AUFord gaped at the sudden scene, and then his attention snapped to the malfunctioning portal in horror.

Ford spotted the many forgotten objects scattered across the ground. He stared from the floor back to the figure back to the floor again. His head spun with the thousands of thoughts racing through it. Old memories mixing with the steel fire in his veins. All tumbled through the filter of his brother's screams and the guilt of his own mistakes.

He moved without thinking. Stepping forward, he picked up the object on the ground, and his hands switched through its settings. The figure stood, it's attention drawn to the sudden disappearance of the ship.

The figure didn't seem to care about the Fords anymore. It didn't seem to care about what it had been doing minutes before, or Ford staring at it through his darkened eyes. It didn't care, but Ford was going to make it. Ford couldn't let anyone get away with making Stan scream.

He pointed the gun and shot a thin stream of heat over 1000 degrees in temperature straight for the clueless figure. It would be hot. And it would _hurt_. Ford knew this.

And for once the eyes didn't seem menacing. They engulfed him in laughter, but he wasn't afraid. They seemed gleeful, but he couldn't care less. Instead he stood and let the sudden onslaught of screams flood over him.

***

He'd done it. That skinny little nerd had really blown himself up.

Well, not exactly. More like blown himself 'in'. He'd expected to have a little more time. He'd barely snuck back outside of the ship before he was fighting the pull of the implosion. And when it was finished, he felt numb. He couldn't help but feel sorry for the man. Who was he to deny anyone the right to die? And anyone else caught in the cross hairs was either a mercy killing or just didn't matter. He only worried that the portal wasn't damaged with the odd pulse the implosion had caused.

Until he saw Ford.

He didn't know what to think at first. Who was attacking? Where was the 'fire'? No expected the screaming.

Why wasn't she dead? A shot like that should have killed her. AUStan found himself breaking into a running to her side, sliding into place, brows furrowed in confusion. She was gasping for breath, hands clutching her stomach. He fumbled with her hood till he could see her marred face. The scars etched deep into her skin were nothing against look of pain in her features.

Her eyes were clouded over, she wasn't thinking behind the agonized yells that erupted from her lips. He was shocked. What should he do?

He tried to ply away her hands to inspect the damage. She let out another scream, but AUStan barely heard. It was a clean blast. A hole - far larger than there ever should be in the middle of a person - was seared through and through. He let her replace her hands, and her cries seemed to lower to heavy whimpers. He noticed her eyes, clear as she gazed up at him. She took in sharp, shaking breaths and somehow managed to gasp out words.

"I-I - hsss! - I d-don't k-know - auuhh! K-know y-you!"

"Ha! Don't know you either stranger. Told you before - you just remind me of someone is all," his eyes trailed her up and down, as if somehow he could fix what was so obviously unfixable.

"I-I - I'm not - n-not - hsss! Not her!" She clenched her lids shut as a convulsing wave of pain shook her entire body.

His eyes widened and he held her still. Kept her from moving more than she had to.

"I know McCorkle. You ain't her. The multi-verse is just a mess up place. Now _hold still_ you're freakin' dying in my arms for heaven's sake McCorkle,"

He saw the fear cross her eyes at his words. She didn't want to die.

All around him the leftovers of the crew were picking themselves up in shock. The portal was doing something weird and AUFord was torn between gaping at his counterpart and containing the machine. But AUStan was focused was on the woman choking back her own blood.

"C-C-Carla. M-my n-n-name is - arg! is C-Carla - " she gritted her teeth and couldn't help as another moan escaped her lips.

AUStan gave her a small smile.

"I know. But thanks anyway,"

He let out a sigh. There was no use prolonging the inevitable. He took out his gun and in one smooth motion ended it. She went limp in his arms.

He stood and looked around.

AUFord had taken to ripping at wires in a furious haste fueled by a his sudden wave of fear. Stanley was looking up at the portal, his eyes for once focused, but his expression blank. The dozen or so members of the crew that were left seemed to be deciding if they should run from the malfunctioning machine and empty field, or if they should kill the four Pines and be done with it.

Ford seemed to have curled in on himself. His arms were wrapped around his middle, and his eyes stared unblinking at the dead woman. AUStan growled.

"What were you thinking!" He took a threatening step towards Ford. "You don't just go around blastin' people all willy-nilly!"

AUStan was very aware of how hypocritical he sounded. On any other given day it wouldn't be as a big a deal. But Carla McCorkle, the woman who broke his stupid heart back in high school didn't deserve to die. Another weird version of her didn't deserve to get caught up with his brother's portal nonsense, and she certainly didn't deserve to be cut down like that. The stranger that wasn't a stranger had been an unfortunate victim of the portal, and whatever messed up life it had tossed her.

And now she was dead. Because Ford had shot her.

Ford. The quiet nerd that didn't stray too far from his way-too-nice-for-his-own-good counterpart. He'd picked up a gun and murdered someone. Murder wasn't inherently a frightening trait to AUStan. Not anymore. He'd knocked out a few lights in his time - it started to become inevitable after a while. It just wasn't something he'd expected from the quieter version of his brother. If AUStan was honest with himself, he was thrown a little off guard.

"I mean yeesh Ford. Get a clue. Whatever she may of done, it wasn't personal,"

Ford's eyes flickered from McCorkle's still form, to AUStan. His blank gaze turned dark and AUStan paused under the intensity. Ford muttered words to himself under his breath and his eyes started to shift toward things that weren't there.

"Alright Sixer, I think it's been a long day, and we should all just hit the hay - ," AUStan froze.

"Y-you! I-I-It's y-you t-t-to!" Ford had the gun cocked and pointed at AUStan's chest.

"Whoa, Sixer, hey!" He raised his hands in surrender. "Calm down Poindexter. Think about what you're doing here, would ya?"

But Ford's hands were shaking and his eyes seemed glazed over. AUStan didn't know what to do. This Stanford's actions were unnerving and he had genuine fear for his life.

"Stanford Pines! Whatever you're doing doesn't matter! I need your help! Pull yourself out of whatever is going on in your head because if we don't get this portal under control there's going to be a problem!"

Ford blinked at AUFord's words. He lowered his weapon a tad and finally took a hard look at the machine. Understanding dawned on him and he breath out a curse. The gun dropped out of hands and he raced over to AUFord's side.

AUStan breathed a sigh of relief. He took in his surroundings one more time and noted how everything was falling together for him.

The suicidal scientist got rid of his angry pirate ship problem. The Fords finally seemed willing to work on the portal. The rest of the crew had decided to not take their chances and just run as far from the hill as their legs could carry them.

Things were looking up.

Later he'll tell himself he should have known better.

***

He had a splitting headache. He was sure blood was spilling from his ears, but when he put a hand up his fingers came away clean.

What was that noise? That voice?

His stomach rolled. Did anybody else hear that?

Maybe they did. Maybe that's why everyone ran down the hill. Maybe that's why the Fords smelt like thick waves of salty fear.

Since when could he _smell_ fear? What was going on?

"Ywur zgyj ml'f aoe yunxijf. Bnlkq's wsme wl aaqm. _Wsme_ ,"

"Vgo, mtak'w bhaz aaq dlqtrz hyhfhvv,"

"Onqz. Damt'j xznb zobzg fr zva hhvw?"

"Ik'w bhaz aamt rguhzylw eixmd,"

"V bnpgw yfyj yqzaeq jfow oiir-yurvh,"

"Ag egz lgpgskrl zv uq iisfvk,"

"Nh! Mtak snrz-myhin jednuguwqr xsl lwa nhad,"

"Tef vb qlrtoci! Fbjukr msbiv lwa,"

Eek! It was like slimy saw dust grating against his teeth and making harsh echoes through his skull. He thought for a moment that maybe he should try taking a look at what was happening. But some white sparkling light seemed to be monopolizing his vision and put that paticular sense on the back burner. And because of it every other sense was almost _inflamed_.

His skin itched. It felt cold and clammy like death itself. His mind was a haze of confusion and some twisted feeling of - hope? His stomach did another flip as the stench of fear floated back as if on a breeze. It tasted like sour grapes and dry saltine crackers. It was awful.

Where was Stanford?

Oh, right. They were both rushing around the portal in a frenzy of wires and mechanics. Was the portal doing this? Was there anything he could do to help?

Probably not. Best to stay out of the way.

But what was that thing he'd heard a moment ago? Screaming? It tasted like pain, but then there was silence. But even more concerning was whatever Ford had been feeling. It was weird. Familiar. Understandable. But weird. Indescribable too, but suddenly he could hear an actual voice.

_I'm_ _sure if_ _I_ _can simply recalibrate_ _it's_ _destination._

_If it can get turned off. Yank_ _a_ _wire or two. Pull out its fuel matrix._

_Just another minute or so, and then earth is as good as here._

Voic _es_ it seemed. All three of his companions sounded like they were talking at once. But were they talking? Did those echoing sounds count as words? They felt more like his own personal thoughts. Maybe it was _their_ own personal thoughts.

_This is bad. This is so, so very bad._ _It's_ _locked onto the wrong destination. The whole thing has been built to_ _default_ _to that_ _wretched_ _dimension!_

_No, no, no, no. He_ _can't_ _come here. Not now, not ever! I_ _don't_ _need him in my_ _**life** _ _anymore! I have Stanley. I have my brother. I_ _don't_ _need him screwing with my already messed up brain. I - I_ _can't_ _believe I shot that woman. What was I thinking?_

_What is he_ _starring_ _at? Yeesh, him and his brother_ _sure_ _are a pair. But then again -_ _I_ _just condoned a suicide. Mercy murdered an alternate version of my highschool ex. And pretty much orchestrated the blackmail of my brother. Two alternate versions that is. I_ _swear_ _if this_ _doesn't_ _work._

_Do any of you hear this?_ _What's_ _going on?_

_Yeah actually. I hear yah. Weird. What is all this? And what are you starring at?_

_Ford can you hear me?_

_Well maybe if you actually_ _**said** _ _something._

_I ..._ _I_ _don't_ _think_ _I_ _can._

_Huh. Me neither._ _What's_ _going on?_

_Ford? Au?_

_I_ _don't_ _think they can hear._

_It's_ _not working!_ _I'm_ _just making this worse! What'll happen if he enters the_ _third_ _dimension in an abandoned universe? Is there infinite versions of him? Or is he infinite. Gah, to think_ _he's_ _infinite. I -_ _I_ _just_ _can't_ _._

_He's_ _still there._ _He's_ _still_ _ **right there**_ _and he can still get me to - what was I thinking?_ _That's_ _not information_ _I'm_ _supposed to be using._ _I'm_ _not supposed to know that!_ _I'm_ _not supposed to remember!_ _I'm_ _not supposed to use it_ _to_ _**hurt**_ _people!_

_Ford!_ _**Calm down** _ _._

_Au 's wiggin' out too. But_ _I don't_ _think they can hear us. Why? And why am I thinkin' all this and not just sayin' it?_

_I wish_ _there_ _was something I_ _could_ **_do_** _. I feel so useless._

 _We_ ** _are_** _useless, you moron. And_ _don't_ _let anyone tell you otherwise_ _cause_ _its_ _not_ _like Ford 's never thrown us out like_ _yesterday's_ _trash -_

_Now is not the time for that!_

Electricity zoomed past him like a fuzzy blanket over his skin. It zoomed through him, through the others - through the ground, through the grass, through the air. AUStan blinked then rubbed his eyes. The world began to lose its color as everything turned different shades of grey.

_Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you seein' this?_

_I_ _don't_ _think_ _I'm_ _paying attention. I really wish_ _Ford_ _would talk to me. Maybe he_ _doesn't_ _trust me not to mess something up. This_ _it's_ _worse than that time -_

 _\- in the third grade. Yeah, that was just awful._ _I really_ _wish_ _I_ _had some ice cream. Err, I mean -_

_Vanilla chocolate swirl. Off topic. I think something 's gonna blow up._

_... Hot Belgian Waffles. I killed Carla McCorkle. Why brain?_ _Why_ _am I just registering this now as more than just a little messed up?_

_You did what?! Vanilla chocolate swi - Off topic!_

_Oh yeesh, oh yeesh, oh yeesh._ _This_ _is so messed up. FORD THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT_ _!_

_How is_ _Ford_ _still standing?_ _I'm_ _exhausted. Yeesh, torture_ _doesn't_ _settle well with indigestion. I think that meat was expired or something 'cause its not settling well._

_Isn't_ _the portal blowing up?_

_What? Oh yeah. And both_ _Fords_ _are really freaking out. You're distracting me with your easily_ _distractible_ _mind. Quit it._

_I'm distracting_ **_you_ ** _?_

_Seriously though, if_ _I_ _never get zapped with that gun again_ _it'll_ _be too soon._

_I_ _know_ _what you mean. That thing is awful. Trust me. There will be nightmares._

_Of_ _course_ _there will._

_Wait a second. I never asked the nerd guy his name. I_ _don't_ _even know his_ **_name_ ** _. Whelp._ _Just_ _one more faceless deadman to haunt my nights._

_Uuuuuggg. Chicago._

_Don't even go there._

_How is Ford not hearing this? How are_ ** _we_** _hearing this? Also, why_ _can't_ _I_ _hear them anymore?_

Both Stans silenced their thoughts. It was easier than expected. AUStan took a moment to look back at the Fords. They had stopped all attempts to contain the portal and stood trembling. Their eyes were wide with dread. The Stans realized the Fords' normally hailstorm of thoughts had short-circuited to static. It was eerie in the sudden silence.

PRXPV FTPP NMTSIV

***

He'd expected the swirling portal to reveal the being that haunted his nightmares. Instead it's voice echoed behind him in it's usual annoying pitch.

"Well look who it is. Stanford Filbrick Pines,"

Both Fords nearly jumped out of their skin as they whirled around. The yellow triangle laughed.

"Haha! Adorable as ever Fordsy. Did you miss me?"

_Yes -_

_\- No_

Just as the thought entered his head he was aware of it being broadcasted. AUFord's face turned pink. His counterpart glanced over at him, but there was no judgment in his eyes. If anything he looked reLieved. Like a man who had dodged a bullet. In a way, the less lonely version of himself had.

_Who the heck - no, no._ _**What** _ _the heck is_ _**that** _ _?_

Stanley's thoughts entered the radio frequency and Bill's eye swiveled between the two Stans.

"Ah yes. The infamous Stan-Lee Pines. Introductions have been a long time waitin' kid. But it'll have to wait just a little bit longer," Bill flicked his wrist and both Stans flew to the side, landing with a moan on their backs.

Both Fords stared at Bill, their eyes filled with apprehension. Both Stans stayed down, but the Fords knew the they were just tired from all the crazy things going on. Instead their focus was on the shape in front of them, and a familiar feEling of weak defiance found its way to their clenched fists.

Before they could say a word, they were pulled through the air and floated face to face with that single black slitted eye.

"You came through for me Six Fingers. Didn't think you had it in ya,"

_I didn't!_

_Don't_ _think for a second_ _I_ _did this on_ _purpose_ _Cipher!_

"'Course you did. I knew you couldn't get enough of me," He glanced between the two of them. "It's real nice to see to again Sixer, but between the two of you I've got a problem. Mind deciding which of you I get to explode?"

The Ford eyes widened.

_Two of us, of course!_

_Is it the strain on the multi-verse?_

_Maybe we're causing some sort of rift in our own right._

_An anti-rift that is keeping him from integrating completely with this dimension -_

"Hold it there Sixer. No need to go flying off the handle. But really, if you won't choose I will - ," Bill stopped and turned around. He stared at a bristling AUStan.

_Just who do_ _you_ _think you_ _are_ _, you yellow triangle weirdo?_

Images of the Captain's room (now imploded) and its many eccEntric images of this very triangle ran through his mind.

_Handles was an absolute nutjob. Whatever this is,_ _it's_ _bad news_ _I'm_ _sure of it._

_Everything hurts._

All of their thoughts were still being flown around like bullets in a war zone.

Bill scoffed and flicked him back again. He plowed straight onto Stanley as his other self was just starting to rise on shaky legs.

Ford shook in anger.

_Don't_ _touch him!_

Bill only laughed.

"But Sixer, whatever happened to - ,"

Bill was cut off as a bomb exploded beneath him. The force of it sent him gently summersaulting through the air and the Fords dropped to the ground as Bill relinquished control. He regained his balance and whirled around.

"Hey! What's the big idea!"

A firecracker lit up in his face like the fourth of July.

"Ack! What is this!" He tossed it away with fumbling hands only for a black cloud of heavy soot and smoke to detonate in his vision. "Ah! Get it off, get it off, get it off!"

He soared out of the cloud and landed to find AUStan starring down the barrel of McCorkle's dreaded blaster. His eye turned red and his voice boomed -

"ENOUGH!"

The gun melted in AUStan's hands and he dropped it with a yelp.

"I've had just about enough of you Stanley Pines,"

Gravity shifted and they found themselves falling into the air. Bill flew in close to AUStan, his eye still blazing red. He stopped suddenly as another figure stepped between them. His anger turned to surprise as he realized he'd forgotten that there were two Stans, not one.

Stanley's expression rivaled that of Bill's with the image of pure fury displayed there.

 _I_ _don't_ _know who_ _or_ _what_ _you_ _are, but nobody messes with my brother but_ _ **me**_ _._

_Real smooth other me._

Stanley pulled back his arm then let it loose with all the power and frustration he had built up inside him. Somehow he knew - he just knew - that this was the source of all his problems. Every last one of 'em. Ford, the portal, that time in Vegas. All of it. He let it all out in a single punch, square in the triangle's eye.

Bill didn't have time to move before he was sent flying through the air, clutching his face in a wail of anger and pain.

But Stan wasn't satisfied. His face twisted in a bitter snarl, he somehow managed to vault through the air in a coordinated manner. He came up to Bill just as the yellow shape righted, and swung out a second time.

Bill let out another yell, but Stan was right on his heels. He hit him again and again, sending them careening through the air.

"Stop it! Stop it right now!" Bill held up his arm in a defensive stance, but his gaze screamed murder.

_W-w-wait Stanley Pines stop!_

_Lee wait!_

_Whoa, whoa, stop! Not the portal! NOT THE PORTAL!_

Stan stopped for just a moment to look up. The portal was flickering behind the triangle. They were headed straight for it. Stan's expression hardened.

_I bet you came out of there_ _didn't_ _you? Well then you can go_ _**back** _ _!_

Stan landed one last punch that sent Bill crashing towards it's entrance. The triangle screamed.

"Staaanleeey!"

There was a moment when Stan floated back - the force of his last hit enough to counter his forward velocity. His face was smug and for a second he let himself revel in the relief of getting that off his chest.

That same relief floated from Stan through to the other three's minds. The feeling spread across all of them, and it only made what came next that much worse.

A hand made a grab at Stan and caught him by the leg. Stan's face twisted in confusion when he was yanked forward and dragged into the portal with Bill.

No one had time to react before the machine zapped out lightning and made exhausted sounds that told a suspicious story. A second later and they all covered their faces as circuits exploded everywhere. The light dimmed as the portal closed, but the noises only got worse.

Gravity came back and they all went crashing through the air back to the ground. They never reached it. At least not in that dimension. Another set of glitches and lightning had the three of them transported through all of existence at random. Flowers popped up on moons. Trees appeared below oceans. The crew that had escaped below the hill was sent flying through space, one man even lost a leg as his body appeared at two different ends of a planet.

The whole world collapsed inward as the portal ripped the entire dimension to shreds. Nothing short of the entire world being strewn across galaxies satisfied the natural entropy until the portal finally creaked in protest and vanish from existence.

Silence fell over that dimension.

The star the sphere had orbited suddenly felt a little more lonely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted Stan to get a win before everything blew up in their faces.  
> So relish Stan punching Bill.  
> I hope that bit at least was relishable.
> 
> What did I do to Carla and Fiddleford? What did I DO?
> 
> Note to self:  
> Write down keys to ciphers so I don't have to go on a guessing spree when I double check that it actually woks.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of the past. Bit of the 'present'. Bit of the 'future'. 
> 
> Formatting is to emulate next part.

_Earlier - AUStan_

"W-w-wait, no!" He struggled in his captors firm grip.

The figure shoved him forward and he fell between the two men he'd already taken out in his efforts to escape. He scrambled to his feet, only to find a blaster in his face. AUStan's eyes widened in surprise. He held his hands up in careful surrender.

"I've seen what's in there. You - you can't just toss me in!"

The figure was silent. AUStan swallowed as his eyes flickered around the engine room, looking for a way to break free. He jumped back when suddenly a fist swung at his face. He threw his metal arm and caught the figure in its side. It crumple to the floor with a moan.

He ran for the door, when a bubble of pain erupted under his skin. A scream left his lips as he sunk to a knee. The pain ended and he sat for a moment to catch his breath.

A hand found its way to his hair as he was yanked to his feet. He gritted his teeth and swung out, only to be met with a fist to his jaw. The figure dragged him to the door as he struggled. It opened and once again he looked into the embodiment of despair. His eyes were frozen on the scene as he stilled his movements in shock.

The hand let go of his head and took the opportunity to twist out of their grip. He backed up and stood in front of the figure, eyes locked on as he readied himself to run. He stared down his opponent, daring them to attack. The gun was pointed at him again and he took a step back. His heart raced as he tried to think of a way out.

And then the gun lowered. He took another step back, expecting some sort of physical altercation. Nothing came. He eyed with figure with a wary gaze.

A pause. Then another. He turned around and ran. Nothing came after him.

***

_Before - Stanford_

The knife shook in his hand.

_You're not drunk enough for this._

He wasn't drunk at all. He didn't intend to be. The familiar voice still echoed in his head. He was sure that's what Stanley would say. He didn't want to think about that.

He lowered the knife just above his finger. His pinkie on the end. The sixth one. The one that made him nothing more than a freak. A weirdo.

_Hey, six fingers are cool. Like, future astronaut cool._

He groaned. Why couldn't his brother leave him alone? Why did he have to bother him, even now?

_Are_ _you really gonna go through with this Poindexter?_

He knew how insane this was. He knew it would hurt, and he knew it wasn't very reasonable.

But he had to. He _had_ to. He had to prove he was serious. He had to prove his loyalty. His commitment. And besides. Those fingers had never caused him anything but trouble.

He stared down at the knife in his hands. He licked his dry lips and steeled his grip.

He wouldn't close his eyes. Or would he? Maybe that was better. Or maybe it would make him focus on the pain, he wasn't sure. He should really do this some other way. Some way less bloody. Less painful. Maybe a bit more medicated.

But that wasn't the point. The point was how far he was willing to go. And Ford knew he could go all the way. He could do anything asked of him. He could prove he was strong enough. Smart enough. He could do this if it meant Cipher's trust.

Time was up. It was now or never. He blinked hard then raised his wrist, ready to slam down the knife.

Milliseconds in time he heard the voice in his head.

**That's** **enough** **Sixer.**

The knife slipped. The pressure from his hand fell just in time to leave no more than a nasty graze on his hand.

" _Bill_ ," he gasped. He held his wrist, watching the red trickled out of his body.

**Haha!** **Didn't** **think you had it in you. But you** **were gonna** **do it. You really** **were** **gonna do it.**

"O-of course. I told you as much,"

**I know, just wanted to make sure. Just wanted** **_you_ ** **to know.**

Ford swallowed.

"W-what does this mean now?"

**Relax Sixer.** **Can't** **call you** **Sixer** **anymore if you** **chop** **those fingers off can I?**

Ford gave a mute nod. He knew Bill could see it. Of course he could. Bill saw everything.

His whole body shook. He squeezed his eyes shut, horrified at what he had almost done.

**Heya, you** **still** **with me Fordsy?**

Ford nodded, not bothering to open his eyes.

**Great, get** **yourself** **cleaned up.** **Let's** **talk, face to angle, alright?**

Ford just gave another nod.

"Okay Bill,"

A little while later and his hand was bandaged. He was lying in his bed and he quickly fell asleep.

***

_ There _ _\- AUStan_

His face hit the dirt and he moaned. Climbing to his knees he glanced around. He stopped, eyes wide.

It was gone. It was all gone. Everything. The portal, the boxes, the Fords -

"NO!"

He slammed his fist into the ground.

_I was so close!_

It had been _right there_. He had been so _close_.

"NO! NO! NO!"

It was gone. The portal was gone - his hopes to get back home gone with it. All blasted away in the flash of a light.

Stanley Pines' shoulders shook.

_I was going to_ _get_ _back to earth. I was gonna see Ford. I was going to fix things, make them better._

_I was gonna apologize. I was gonna tell him_ _I'm_ _sorry._ _I'm_ _so, so sorry Ford._

_Please_.

_I'll do whatever nerd chores you need. I_ _won't_ _touch your work. I'll_ _get_ _as far away_ _from_ _you as_ _I_ _can, but_ _please_ _Ford. Just get me_ _out of_ _here. I just wanna get out. Please Ford._ _Don't_ _leave me here. I_ _don't_ _wanna be here anymore. Please Ford. Just please ..._

Tears stung his eyes.

_**Please** _ _..._

He was never getting back to earth.

Ford wasn't coming for him.

He really should have known better.

He let out a scream. Birds scattered out of trees and his voice echoed. He slammed his fist into he ground and took deep breaths in and out. His shoulders heaved but he sucked in air and pushed it out through his nose. In. And out. In. And out. His beating heart began to settle.

_O-okay ... a-alright ..._

No, not okay. Not alright. He felt like he was going to explode.

Something slunk out of the shadows in front of him. He glanced up at it with dark eyes.

It was a panther. A lethal predator. He had no weapons. His blaster was gone. His knife left with the implosion.

A growl rumbled in Stanley Pines' throat, only to be echoed by the much more intimidating yowl from the panther. Stanley Pines didn't care. He stood to his feet and looked at the beast head on.

_Forget it._ _Forget_ _it all._

That was impossible. He could never forget. But if there was one thing Stan was good at, it was not thinking. So that's what he did. He didn't think about it. About any of it. He let it all fall away as he focused on action. As he focused on what was right there. Right in front of him.

The panther leapt forward, but of course Stan would survive. He always found his feet in the end. Somehow.

He'd survive.

***

_ There _ _ \- AUFord _

The ground hit him hard, but he was aware of crossing dimensions before he let out a moan. He didn't move to stand. He laid on the floor, still as his ears twitched in the silence.

Bill.

His whole body shook. Bill had been right there. He'd had him. He'd had Stanford in his grasp, and he'd been helpless. He'd been _helpless_ , he couldn't _do_ _ **anything**_. And Stanley -

Stanley had punched him. He'd _punched_ _ **Bill**_. Right in the eye. In the _eye._ And Stanford hadn't done a thing. He was weak. Helpless. A gullible egocentric man who had doomed himself to a life of monsters and manipulation.

He stared down at his six fingered hands. Then he looked up. The sky was filled with millions of stars. He didn't recognize any of them.

He was alone again. The night breeze brought a chill and he wrapped his coat tighter around himself.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he would start up his search again. Look for food. A way to hop dimensions. A solution against Bill. But for now?

One by one he curled his fingers into a fist. He needed rest.

***

_ There _ _ \- Ford _

He hit the ground with a thud, but was on his feet in a second.

 _Stanley_.

He whirled around, but nothing looked familiar. And Stanley -

Stanley was gone. Bill dragged him into the portal -

_No!_

He took off running and stopped. He whirled around and headed the other direction, but there was nowhere to go. Stanley was gone. He was _gone_.

_No, no, no, no! Stanley!_

And then there were the eyes. They surrounded him. He backed up against a tree, and put his face in his hands.

_No, no, no. Stanley no. No. Stanley. Stanley no._

Stan was trapped in the chaos dimension. The monster dimension. A dimension of nightmares. He was gone and suddenly Ford was alone again.

" _L-l-l-lee_ ,"

He took a glance around, but that was a mistake. The eyes were smiling. All of them in their own manic way. They all seemed euphoric. Slowly they closed in on him.

His whole body shook in fear.

"L-lee," he whispered. He put his hands back in his face, but that was until his felt the soft scrape of claws against his skin.

He shouted and jumped back. It was the eyes. They reached out to him, a mad gleam stretching in each pupil. There was nowhere to go. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. More thin black fingers reached out to touch and he could only stand there and quake. Each light graze sent shivers racing down his spine. So many clawed hands. Dozens of them, all reaching out for Ford.

He could _feel_ them. A physical manifestation. They did nothing more that grip his shoulders, grab his legs, his arms. Any spot of his body they could reach. The experiance was terrifying. His heart hammered in his chest, but he couldn't look away.

Was this real? Had he landed back in the caves? Were they finally going to take him?

He didn't know. He needed Stan.

But Stan was gone. Gone because of Bill, because of _Ford_. Lost to a dimension of unspeakable horrors and it was all his fault!

Their arms seemed to wrap around every part of him. He was surrounded in inky blackness like a cocoon.

As his vision grew dim his breath ran short. He couldn't take air in fast enough to keep up with his racing heart. A haziness spread through his mind as a blank cloth covered his thoughts.

Ford passed out.

***

_There_

Being dragged through the blue white sheen of the portal's entrance did nothing for his confusion. His whole body twisted in protest as he was scrunched and flattened, then stretched and blown up again. He blinked and was met with literal chaos. He looked on for two seconds. Then three. As the fourth came round he realized his mind wouldn't adjust and quickly snapped his eyes _shut_.

 _You_ _can't_ _see_.

The memory came as sudden as it went, but left a bad taste in his mouth. He didn't have time for that now. Something still held onto his leg.

"You! Do you have any idea what you've done!"

He recognized the triangle's voice. He put on a smug smile.

"Shoved you right back where you came from, that's what. Read it and weep,"

He was dragged forward, and even behind his lids the red of the triangle's eye bled through.

"I'll flay you! I'll chop up your body and serve it to sharkazoids! I'll crush your bones and dump them in a volcano! I'll - ,"

Stan kicked his foot out of the triangle's grip and floated away.

"Oh, not you _don't_!"

Stan yelped as he was taken around the he middle in a large hand. Suddenly there was a laugh. A loud cackle right in his ear.

"Hahahahaha!"

Stan struggled in the triangle's grip.

"Let go of me, or I'll give you another Pines' lefty! I don't know you who you think you are - ,"

The laughter abruptly stopped as the hand on his middle squeezed. Stan gasped for air.

"You cost me a huge opportunity Stanley Pines. You can't even _imagine_ what I'm going to do to you. But I wouldn't want to kill you without you knowing whose name to scream with your dying breath!"

Another loud laugh followed.

"The name 's _BILL CIPHER_. Welcome to my _NIGHTMARE REALM_. I'm going to have _great_ fun with **you** ,"

***

**Sixth Months Later:**

_Now_

He stepped through the portal and felt his stomach take a dip. He teetered on his feet, but the sound of shattering glass echoed behind him. Stan whirled around. It was a bad idea and his head spun. He listened for the tell-tale sign of a monster, or some - he didn't know, _battle cry_ of attack? Instead all he heard was heavy breathing in an otherwise silent room.

"S-stanley?" A voice croaked.

Stan's eyes widened beneath his shield glasses as he recognized Ford's voice. A smile grew on his face.

"Stanford - ," he was cut off as arms swung around his neck and he was pulled into a tight embrace.

Ford latched onto him, none too softly, but Stan didn't care. He wrapped his arms around his brother and held him close. Ford's whole body shook and he heard his breathing hitch. Ford's fists tightened on the back of his jacket as he made efforts to hold onto Stan and never let go.

Stan felt a pressure behind his eyes and would have begun to tear up, but it was outweighed by the haze in his mind. His legs felt weak. His stomach churned. His throat was dry, and then his knees buckled beneath him. Suddenly Stanford was the only thing keeping him up.

"S-stan? Stanley, are you okay? What's wrong?" Ford's voice sounded far away.

Stan's eyes rolled into his head and he only managed a "M'fine," before he passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really, really sorry. 
> 
> But also I couldn't just leave them separated. Splitting them up was cruel and a lot went down (or goes down - depending on how you look at it) in six months (of course), but LEAVING them like that? I'm not that evil.
> 
> Up next. Bill Cipher.


End file.
